Episode 5
Karsian’s room, which I entered hesitantly, was far from pleasant. It seemed he had tried to clean it in his own way, but it was still undeniably dirty. Well, this wasn’t even a proper bedroom to begin with—just a storage room.
To think they shoved a child into a place like this… It really is my family, but what a cruel household.
Of course, the marquisate later pays for everything they did to Karsian, with their deaths. It was a refreshing moment for the readers, but definitely not for me.
Because I die along with them.
I swallowed dryly and looked back at him. Karsian, carrying the food Susan had brought, was heading toward the desk that doubled as a dining table when he noticed me.
“What.”
His voice was still filled with wariness, so I made my expression as harmless as possible.
“No, just…”
But the words wouldn’t come.
Isn’t it uncomfortable living in a place like this?
…Obviously.
Should I ask if he can move rooms?
…But I’m just an illegitimate child—what power do I have?
I quietly swallowed a sigh.
I was supposedly the marquis’s daughter, yet I felt helpless realizing I couldn’t even take responsibility for one boy. In the end, unable to find anything to say, I just gave him an awkward smile. Karsian looked at me dryly, then continued walking.
As I glanced at the desk he sat at, I noticed something unexpected.
“Huh? That’s Siren stationery, isn’t it?”
“Don’t touch that!”
I had only asked without much thought, but Karsian suddenly raised his voice and hugged the stationery to his chest.
“Uh, what?”
I hadn’t even reached out my hand—his reaction stunned me. And then the details from the original story came flooding back.
That stationery was a gift his father bought him before leaving.
‘With this stationery, you can contact me from anywhere in the vast sea. We may be apart for a while, but our hearts will never be far.’
Karsian had begged to accompany his father on the trade voyage. But the sea, filled with pirates and unknown creatures, was far too dangerous for a child, so the count firmly refused.
Instead, he pawned even his deceased wife’s brooch to buy this stationery, so his son wouldn’t feel so lonely. Karsian knew this, which was why the stationery had been such a precious treasure during his childhood.
But that was…
I spoke carefully to Karsian, who looked tense as though afraid I’d take the stationery away.
“Have you used it?”
“…What?”
“Have you sent any letters recently? You’ve been using that to contact your father, right?”
“How… how do you know that?”
Karsian looked at me suspiciously.
Oops.
I hurriedly came up with an excuse.
“I read it in a merchant guild catalog. It said that Siren stationery lets you communicate with someone even if they’re in the middle of the ocean.”
I added that it was extremely expensive, usually used by delegations crossing the sea or royalty on tour. Karsian slowly nodded, touched again by how his father had bought him something so precious.
“But… there’s no reply.”
He looked at me sharply, as if asking, ‘Is your family intercepting them?’
Hmm, the more I look at him, the more he reminds me of a little stray kitten. Especially how all his thoughts show so plainly on his face.
“…Are they stealing them in the middle?”
Lost in thought, I snapped back to reality and quickly shook my head.
“They’re not being stolen. They’re not arriving.”
“Not arriving?”
“Yeah. The catalog said the potion that controls the Sirens is applied to the paper.”
“I know that.”
“Then you also know there’s a spell on the recipient line that helps the trained Siren find the person?”
“I know. That’s how the Siren flies off following the magic, right? Are you treating me like an idiot?”
Karsian growled.
“That’s not what I meant…”
When I lowered my gaze and murmured, he flinched a little. After a pause, he asked,
“…Then why do you think the letters aren’t arriving?”
I pointed at the stationery.
“They said if it’s kept somewhere damp, the potion’s scent disappears. So it needs to be stored somewhere dry.”
Karsian’s breath hitched. He stared down at the stack of stationery with a blank expression.
“Somewhere damp…”
He let out a sigh, looking utterly defeated. Since this room was originally a storage room for food supplies, it was damp and musty. No wonder the stationery was discoloring.
A pretty good idea crossed my mind. I needed to earn points with him right now.
To earn points, I had to ease his guard and get him to trust me at least a little.
And honestly, it was our marquisate that forced him to keep the stationery in a damp place. Before he connected the dots and blamed himself—or me—I quickly said,
“I can help you.”
“…What?”
“The stationery isn’t completely ruined. If you dry it and reapply the potion, it’ll work again.”
“But that…”
Karsian glanced around the stuffy, damp room. Obviously impossible in here. I continued as if waiting for that moment.
“Can you give it to me?”
“What?”
“Uh, like you saw earlier, my room gets sunlight. Not that I’m trying to mock you.”
Before he could argue, I added quickly:
“If I dry the paper in my room, and reapply the potion… Then I can give it back to you. What do you think?”
In the past, I had seen that potion while helping Father with his ledgers—though Father hated the sea, the potion had been something the count left for Karsian.
Karsian hesitated. Then he shook his head firmly.
“How am I supposed to trust you?”
His voice was sharp and on edge. I opened my mouth, then closed it.
Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. I had bullied him in my past life. How could he trust me so easily now?
I spoke gently, as understandingly as possible.
“But if you don’t do this, you won’t be able to use the stationery.”
“….”
“If you can’t trust me, how about trusting Susan?”
She was at least somewhat friendly to him.
I put a bit of hope into that suggestion.
“No.”
He immediately rejected it.
‘She’s still your servant, isn’t she?’
His expression said it all. He had no intention of changing his mind.
If this were me before I regressed, I would’ve snatched the stationery and run straight to my mother. That’s exactly why Karsian was being so stubborn—because he thought I would do it again.
Knowing all this, I could only back off.
If I pushed harder, he’d definitely think, “She must be plotting something!” and resent me even more. If I had never wronged him, maybe I could push… but I already had.
Sensing his mood, I said,
“Then I’ll get going. The servant seems to have passed, and it’d be bad if Betty suddenly comes to check.”
Karsian didn’t answer. Susan and I checked that the hallway was clear and left his room.
Susan asked carefully,
“Is it really okay to leave him like that?”
“You mean the stationery?”
“That too… but I meant Young Master Karsian.”
She knitted her brows in worry. I glanced back.
Through the slightly open door, I met Karsian’s red eyes. He startled, then quickly shut the door.
Really, he was like a kitten awkwardly pretending to be guarded.
Smiling, I told Susan,
“He’ll be fine. And he’ll come to me soon.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t returned the ointment yet—the one he wouldn’t let me apply even on my knees.”
“Oh my! Really!”
Susan laughed in surprise.
“Once his wounds heal because of the ointment, he’ll understand your sincerity.”
“Mm-hm. Exactly.”
Then surely, even Karsian’s closed heart would open a little.
A week passed.
“He’s not coming today either.”
At Susan’s words, I slipped a bookmark into my book. She was glancing worriedly at the door.
It had been a week since I confidently declared Karsian would come find me.
And for a whole week, Karsian hadn’t shown even a shadow.
But I had expected this.
“It’s fine. Karsian has always been cautious.”
He saw a marquis—his father’s friend—suddenly change attitudes like flipping a hand. And everyone from the marquisate, including me, took the lead in tormenting him.
“Karsian’s heart is probably more tightly closed than usual.”
So he would take a week, even longer, to slowly judge me.
“We just wait longer. You said before—everyone needs a different amount of time to build trust.”
When was that? I think I was around six.
Susan and I were walking in the garden when we found a bird with an injured wing. We took great care of it, but the little bird wouldn’t open its heart to us.
‘I’m being so nice—why won’t it trust me?’
I had complained, and Susan said:
‘Because it needs more time.’
‘More time?’
‘Yes. You’re very trusting, so it takes you little time. But cautious beings need a long while to observe before trusting someone.’
After hearing that, I gave the bird as much time as it needed. Eventually, the little thing began to follow us as if it had never been wary at all.
“Karsian must be like that little bird.”
I said with a soft laugh, and Susan smiled warmly, remembering the bird.
“You’re right. I was being impatient.”
She put a hand to her cheek in embarrassment.
“By the way, I haven’t seen that bird lately.”
“Well…”
She had said a bird is happier free than trapped in a cage, so we had let it go.
“True. It used to visit sometimes.”
Even before I regressed, around the time I began tormenting Karsian, the bird had vanished.
“Should we go look for it?”
“Hm… okay. We haven’t been to the garden in a while anyway.”
I put down the book and hopped off the chair.
