Chapter 09
There had been too many things since morning.
Se-ah’s head felt like it was being squeezed tight. She took a headache pill and then went into the classroom for homeroom.
“Everyone here? Raise your hand if you’re absent.”
She joked as she looked at the students. How can someone who isn’t here raise their hand? The students burst into laughter and pointed at an empty seat.
“Park Jitae isn’t here.”
“Park Jitae is late!”
Park Jitae was the only troublemaker in Se-ah’s class. Most of the students this year were kind and bright, but from the first day, Jitae had caused problems.
She had kept him after class, talked to him, even scolded him. But he never opened up. Being late or absent without notice was like eating a meal to him—something he did all the time.
“Alright, except Jitae, everyone’s here? Did you all eat breakfast?”
“No!”
“Buy us bread, teacher!”
Their loud voices softened Se-ah’s heart. She tapped the podium.
“Quiet. I’ll go over today’s announcements.”
After class, Se-ah returned to the teachers’ office. Jitae still hadn’t shown up.
She called his mother.
[He didn’t go to school again?]
The moment she picked up, Jitae’s mother spoke without even greeting her.
“Yes. He wasn’t in homeroom. When did he leave home?”
[How would I know? I’m at work.]
Her tone was cold. Se-ah felt like the breakfast she hadn’t eaten was rising up her throat.
[Can’t you reach him?]
“No, his phone is turned off. I thought I should inform you of the situation.”
[How are you guiding him that he’s late every day?]
Se-ah’s mind went blank for a moment.
Jitae’s mother had never been warm, but she had never spoken this aggressively before.
She was divorced and raising Jitae alone. She left home at dawn for work and returned late at night. Feeling sorry for her situation, Se-ah had quietly tried to take care of both Jitae and his mother.
“Ma’am, I believe I’ve guided Jitae sufficiently.”
Her voice trembled.
She had taken him out for tteokbokki, had tea with him separately. But Jitae never opened his heart. From what she could tell, he seemed to be hanging out with friends who didn’t even attend school.
“I’ve tried to talk to him.”
[That’s not it. You should hit him.]
Jitae’s mother raised her voice.
[What kind of school can’t even control one late student? If you can’t, then hit him so he comes on time! Why do you keep calling me?]
“Ma’am, corporal punishment is prohibited at school.”
[You can hit my child. I won’t say anything. Hit him if you have to so he listens. You’re too soft, that’s why he runs around like that.]
“Ma’am.”
Se-ah took a deep breath before speaking.
“Jitae is eighteen now. Even if corporal punishment weren’t banned, I don’t think he’s at an age where it would work. From what I see, Jitae seems to have something troubling his heart.”
She had tried to be strict yet wise, never using punishment but trying to comfort him.
But in her view, this wasn’t just Jitae’s problem.
That’s why she had suggested counseling to his mother several times. Each time, his mother avoided responsibility, saying she was too busy and had neither time nor money.
“Have you talked to Jitae recently? I believe I asked you to make time to speak with him.”
[I’m dying from being busy. What talk? So you’re saying it’s my fault?]
She became aggressive immediately. Se-ah swallowed dryly. Parents were ten thousand times harder than students.
“I’m not saying that, ma’am. I just think Jitae needs conversation rather than force.”
[That’s just your opinion. He wasn’t like this last year. His teacher kept him in line strictly.]
No. Last year’s teacher simply hadn’t informed the family when Jitae didn’t come to school.
Se-ah closed her eyes.
“Understood. Please talk to him when he gets home today and make sure he comes tomorrow.”
She said the pointless words and hung up.
She knew it wouldn’t happen anyway.
All the strength drained from her body at once.
If only Jitae’s mother would cooperate a little. It seemed her own hardships were blinding her to her son’s struggles.
What was I like?
Suddenly, Se-ah thought of her own high school days.
She had never rebelled openly like being late or absent. But inside, her heart had been rotting alone.
A small light flickered in her memory.
— Come out.
— I have night self-study.
It was voluntary study for those who applied. Se-ah had signed up because she wanted to stay away from home as long as possible.
— First day.
Seonghan spoke in a relaxed voice.
— I’ll say I made you help with student council work.
— What right does a retired student council president have?
— Hmm, maybe my grandfather’s right?
Ever since he once joked about being from a chaebol family, he would use that line sometimes.
— Ah, right. Your grandfather’s a chaebol.
Seonghan just smiled and pulled her along.
They went to Namsan. The world had grown dim, and rows of tall buildings stretched below the mountain.
A cool breeze brushed her hair, and Se-ah smiled softly. At some point, Seonghan’s hand rested on her shoulder.
— Do you like it?
— Yes.
— I come here when I have a headache.
She looked at him. His eyes were fixed on a distant point. His pupils trembled slightly.
She had thought he had no worries. Did he have headaches too?
She lifted her hand and touched his forehead. It was cool and smooth. He lowered her hand, and she felt his soft lips brush against it.
— Han Se-ah.
He lowered his gaze.
His lips moved as if to say something, but no words came out.
He simply held her silently.
His embrace was warm, yet strangely heartbreaking.
On the way back that day, they went to the subway station. Seonghan boarded the train toward her home, saying he would walk her back.
Two seats became available. Se-ah sat first, and Seonghan tried to sit beside her.
Just then, the subway started suddenly.
He had just taken off his bag and was about to sit when the train jerked. His body tilted toward Se-ah.
She instinctively reached out to catch him, but Seonghan threw his bag to the floor instead of leaning on her. As a result, he rolled onto the subway floor.
— Sunbae, are you okay?
Se-ah asked in shock. He got up as if nothing had happened.
— Are you okay?
Only then did she realize he had rather rolled on the floor than lean on her.
Seeing dust on his always neat uniform, her face twisted.
— You didn’t have to do that.
Why does this keep happening?
I thought I had forgotten. I have to forget. Why does it come back?
It’s already over. He left without a word to study abroad, changed his phone and everything so she couldn’t contact him.
After that, Se-ah lost her confidence. She thought he had left because he disliked her. She couldn’t date anyone.
Until she met Dongjun at work.
“Teacher Han Se-ah, do you have a free period?”
It was Dongjun.
He must have changed his clothes after the mop incident earlier.
Se-ah had many things to say to him.
“Yes. About thirty minutes.”
“Then, can I see you for a moment?”
He walked ahead, his steps heavy.
For some reason, he seemed angry. Se-ah felt slightly flustered. Shouldn’t she be the one angry?
She remembered when they had first started dating.
Not long after she came to the school, Dongjun had scolded her harshly.
It was the day she was late because of a bad cold. She had a fever but still came to school, thinking she shouldn’t miss work. She had even called the vice principal in advance.
But it was Dongjun—not the vice principal or department head—who had scolded her loudly.
She had cried alone in the restroom. That evening, seeing her swollen eyes, Dongjun took her out for drinks and comforted her, saying he had been too harsh.
After that, the pattern continued. He scolded her harshly, then comforted her. She felt confused.
One day, he confessed that he liked her and asked her to date him.
If I refuse, will he make things harder for me?
Already mentally exhausted, she agreed. She thought maybe he would scold her less if they dated.
Unconsciously, she had overlapped him with her stepfather and stepbrother, who had made her life difficult.
Dongjun sat in the teachers’ lounge and gestured to the seat in front of him.
He looked just like he did when he used to scold her.
