Chapter 63
Masquerade Ball (3)
Herald hid his unease by kissing her face, neck, and collarbone. He longed desperately for a woman who seemed to love him yet withheld her entire heart. Briefly pressing his saliva-moistened lips to her cheek, he pulled away, showing an uncharacteristic clinginess.
“Will you give me all of yourself?”
Meeting Retina’s blue eyes after kissing her, Herald traced her back with his hands, wanting her. His urgency wasn’t only in his heart; a burning heat seemed to gather in his lower abdomen.
Growing anxious that her feelings might have changed while they were apart, he let out uneven breaths.
But Retina didn’t immediately answer him. Instead, she sought out his lips and kissed him first. Without hesitation, she gave him a kiss filled with all her feelings, a promise that she would give herself to him, clumsy but sincere.
“I don’t need a grand, luxurious proposal. Just being together like this is enough. I’ll always be by your side until you leave me, Your Highness.”
“That will never happen. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure of it.”
Herald promised Retina, who seemed to think he might leave someday. His dedication to state affairs day and night wasn’t just about handling the swordsmanship tournament. He poured all his efforts into formally accepting Retina as his consort, not just a mistress.
“I love you. I want you desperately. Retina Cecelica, only you.”
Overwhelmed by insatiable desire, Herald curled his back. Like someone parched, he caressed Retina without treating her roughly. He handled her as if she were delicate glass, careful not to hurt her.
“I want to become one with you. Please… let me feel you.”
Retina nodded at his request for permission. Once she granted it, he took her lips in a deep, passionate kiss. His hands skillfully but urgently untied her corset.
Their positions shifted in an instant, and both collapsed back onto the sofa-bed. Even as the shallow dust rose from the fabric, their laughter of happiness never ceased.
Lying tightly pressed together on the narrow sofa, they left no space between them. It seemed they were making up for the time they couldn’t see or touch each other, unwilling to separate even for a moment.
Herald explored Retina like a famished man, and she soothed him, stroking his body as he displayed intense possessiveness.
In the dark room without a single candle, Retina couldn’t see his complexion clearly, but she felt relieved that his condition wasn’t as bad as she feared. The crown prince, however, fell asleep as if fainting just as he reached climax.
‘He said he hasn’t been sleeping well… he must have been really tired.’
It was the first time she’d seen the usually healthy crown prince in such a state. Overcome by fatigue and tension, he lost consciousness, and Retina, realizing he had simply fallen asleep, breathed a sigh of relief.
“Are you awake?”
Feeling the movement of the arm that had held her, Retina asked. Half-awake, Herald lifted his head to confirm she was still by his side, then let it drop again.
“……Has much time passed?”
“No. Not even thirty minutes.”
Retina brushed his hair to the side as the crown prince, barely awake, stirred after only twenty minutes of sleep. The fatigue still clung heavily to his face.
“Then let’s stay like this… for a bit longer.”
Herald, still reluctant to get up, held Retina tightly. How long had it been since he had rested his head like this?
Usually, he resisted sleep until he could collapse from exhaustion, sometimes taking short naps at his desk, leaving his neck and back sore. Now, with Retina by his side, he could rest even briefly but deeply.
“You haven’t been sleeping well, right?”
“Who told you that? Sate?”
“I won’t say. You’d lecture me again.”
“Then it must have been Ilian.”
Herald easily recalled Ilian’s nagging just before he left for his estate last week. He had figured out who the comment referred to. If it had been Sate, he would’ve warned her not to worry needlessly.
“I don’t usually sleep well because of damn nightmares and headaches. But that night, I slept without taking any medicine, only because I was with you.”
It was natural for him to crave the one person who made him whole, who allowed him to exist as his true self, ignoring all outside pressures. His desire to elevate Retina to crown princess required patience, ensuring she suffered no harm while remaining by his side.
“Did you not want to see me?”
Herald teased her belly as he asked. Although he had heard rumors of marriage talks with Prince Nolden, Retina’s letters never mentioned it. He had been waiting for her to tell him first and hadn’t received any note about the matchmaking meeting.
“I wanted to see you.”
“Your reply is late.”
“I wanted to, but it was hard because I couldn’t.”
Laughing at the ticklishness, Retina groaned at the pulling pain in her abdomen. Herald, stroking her sore muscles, kissed her chest.
“What did you do to get muscle pain in your belly?”
“Hmm… physical training?”
“Physical training? Did young ladies do such things?”
“Actually, I had a marriage proposal too, like the crown prince was arranged for. They required me to undergo physical tests.”
“Marriage proposal…”
“I had no choice but to obey since they told me not to reject any suitors.”
Retina spoke as if helpless. Herald clenched his teeth at how casually she discussed engagements with other men. She had accepted it calmly, without anger, as if she had anticipated it.
“I know. You met Nolden.”
“You knew…? I was planning to tell you only after it was certain, since few people knew.”
“Would I have let you deceive me if I didn’t know?”
Growling, Herald turned Retina’s face toward him. Even if she accepted her fate, he would never allow it to happen.
“I wasn’t trying to hide anything. Nothing was set at that time. I only realized later.”
Retina explained to Herald, who was behaving like a predator unwilling to let go of his prey. He hadn’t hidden the crown princess match from her either.
“When it’s decided… are you planning to say goodbye before following Nolden to the North?”
Herald held her tightly as if not wanting to let her go. Even though nothing was finalized, he felt a sense of loss at the thought of losing her.
“I want to expel that prince from the empire immediately.”
“That could damage relations with the North.”
“Do you like Nolden? Enough to be willingly given for the empire’s sake?”
“Not exactly…”
Retina extended her words. She understood the crown prince’s worries. As someone with hair the same color as Nolden, he would know what she might think. And if the prince discovered this, he would unconditionally choose her.
Calming Herald as he clung to her, Retina gently stroked him. She could have lied to give him the answer he wanted but chose not to. Instead, she focused on the present moment with him, not the uncertain future.
“The only person my heart desires is Your Highness, the crown prince.”
Pressing her hand to his chest, Retina rose. It was time to leave the room. Though the party continued all night, she had been away too long. The young ladies might be looking for her.
Herald’s jacket slipped off her shoulders, exposing her back. Considering her dress, no traces remained above her shoulders, but below, it was a mess. Her pale skin, almost blushing, was marked by Herald’s touches. The handprints on her inner thighs looked like they might bruise.
