Chapter 18
‘Why is Mr. Hopeless over there?’
He was dressed up like someone on his way to a wedding, so I thought he was just out somewhere.
But then, right above the flashy pocket square on his chest, a green marker was blinking.
‘So, Mr. Hopeless has a diamond in the inside pocket of his jacket.’
And yet, the man who supposedly doesn’t want to get robbed is carrying it himself and waiting for me. That’s unexpected.
I handed over the tray and left, pondering it carefully, but couldn’t come up with a reason.
‘Is it because of insurance?’
Like, you only get the payout if you’ve done everything possible to prevent the theft? Well, whatever the case, I’ll find out soon enough.
‘Right now, what matters is finding a hiding place first.’
I pretended to head toward the stairs, then slipped into a random door when no one was watching.
The room looked like a storage space, cluttered with junk. They’ve probably already searched this place, so they wouldn’t come back here. Still, just in case, I hid behind the piles of junk. Then I checked the system clock.
‘5:50 p.m.’
A little too early to start stealing.
But the sun was already setting outside.
By the time I got out of here and opened my umbrella, the sky would be dark enough to cover a person dangling from it. Besides…
‘With both Hunt and Chase outside right now, this is the perfect timing.’
After a quick calculation, I made up my mind and shouted inwardly,
‘Face-Blindness Mode, activate! Master of Disguise skill, activate!’
In that instant, the figure reflected in the mirror leaning against the wall changed.
“Ah, mic test.”
Even my voice had dropped much lower.
From appearance to voice, the Master of Disguise skill randomized everything about my looks.
The only problem: the disguise doesn’t change clothes. A faceless thief wearing Claire Kent’s clothes? That’s basically confessing.
‘Inventory.’
I changed into the clothes I’d packed from home and slipped on my spring boots. Normally, that would be enough preparation—but today, I added one more item.
A bulletproof vest.
‘That bastard Chase… feels like he really would shoot if it came down to it.’
Alright, everything’s ready. Time to start the operation.
I grabbed the doorknob and spoke silently in my head.
‘Where the hell have you been? effect—activate.’
The “Where the hell have you been?” effect.
Except for the main tracker, all investigators forget their duties and wander off aimlessly until the effect wears off.
In detective stories, you always see it—everything wraps up, and only then do the extra cops rush in late. That’s when the main detective bursts out in frustration, shouting:
‘Where the hell have you all been?’
‘You could say it’s an effect that recreates that cliché.’
It might sound like an incredibly useful effect, but in truth, it wasn’t all that great. Even if the officers forgot their duties, the moment they ran into me, they’d remember everything.
That’s why, even after activating the effect, I didn’t rush out. I stayed behind the door, ears pricked, waiting for the police to leave their posts.
“Damn, did I drink too much coffee…? My bladder’s about to burst.”
At last, I heard one of the guards stationed in the basement leave. Soon after, the voices of the other officers followed one by one.
“Was that coffee decaf? I’m so sleepy. I need a nap.”
“Ah, what’s wrong with me? I forgot to call home and tell them I’d be late tonight. I’ll step out and make a quick call.”
Yeah, yeah, just hurry up and get out. I glanced at the countdown timer glowing in the corner of the system window.
Time left: 9 minutes, 23 seconds.
Ten minutes might sound long, but since it takes the officers a while to actually leave their posts, the time you really get to enjoy the effect isn’t much at all.
And that’s not even the only drawback. In fact, the worst one is still to come.
The “What are you all doing here?” backlash.
Since all the officers abandon their posts at once, a sharp-eyed main tracker instantly realizes that I must be around.
That’s what happened the last time I used it—Hunt caught me right away. The name of the backlash, “What are you all doing here?”, actually comes from what Hunt shouted back then.
‘If it’s that hound Hunt, he’ll notice again this time too.’
Which is exactly why now, with Hunt outside the site, this is the perfect moment.
Steal it and get out—fast.
When no more sounds came from the hallway, I opened the door. The quiet corridor was filled only with the steady rhythm of someone snoring.
There could still be someone wandering about. Pressed against the wall, I checked every corner carefully as I crept toward the room where the jewel was hidden.
Snoooore!
‘So that coffee really was decaf?’
But of all places, why sleep right here? How bothersome.
I tiptoed toward the door, careful not to wake the snoring officer slumped in the chair beside it.
Click.
The door wasn’t locked. Peeking through the crack, I saw that the room was completely empty—no officers inside.
Afraid the snoring guard outside might wake if he heard anything, I quickly slipped inside and shut the door.
Then, turning around—
I found myself staring straight into the eyes of a man sitting in the middle of the room.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Hopeless.”
The guards were gone. Which meant only Mr. Hopeless had remained.
“Y-you’re….”
The ‘Where the hell have you been?’ effect only worked on investigators. Which meant ordinary people weren’t affected in the slightest.
“Miss Crow Thief?”
Mr. Hopeless muttered in shock, jumping to his feet. As his mouth began to open wide, I pressed a finger to my lips and gestured toward the closed door with my eyes.
“Shhh.”
The man quickly shut his mouth. Just as I’d expected.
The reason I came in here knowing Mr. Hopeless would be inside was because I figured he’d cooperate with me.
‘He’ll hand over that damned jewel without a fuss. And if he doesn’t, I’ll just persuade him.’
I slowly walked toward the frozen young man and reached out my hand.
Ah, of course, not with my fist—with words.
“Sorry, but that diamond you’re holding—I’m going to have to steal it. You don’t mind, do you?”
Sure enough, the man obediently slipped a hand into the inside pocket of his tuxedo jacket and pulled out a blue velvet box. With a resolute look, he spoke.
“Very well. Please, steal it.”
At those words, my lips froze halfway into a smile—because Mr. Hopeless suddenly dropped to his knees before me and said,
“My cruel darling…”
…Why am I suddenly “your darling”?
“You stole my heart long ago, and now you’ve come to steal this ring.”
A ring? What ring?
The words about stealing his heart registered in my head a beat later—because at that moment, the man opened the box wide.
Huh?
I was sure the Hopeless Diamond was a loose stone. But inside the box, the crimson diamond was set in a platinum ring.
‘That’s… an engagement ring?’
That’s when the “you stole my heart” part finally sank in.
‘Wait… was he actually waiting here to propose to me?’
Shocked, I forgot for a moment that I was supposed to steal it, and instinctively took a step back.
That’s when the man suddenly grabbed hold of my leg and clung to me.
“What are you doing, you lunatic? Let go!”
I shook my leg like trying to get rid of gum stuck to the sole of my shoe, but instead of letting go, he hugged my leg tightly with both arms.
Not only that—he even started bawling like a child, wailing and throwing a tantrum.
“I waited so long! Why only now? You bad thief! I’ll pun! ish! you! By marry! ing! you!”
“Do you want bread? Or porridge? Bread!”
Wham!
“Ugh!”
Hey, I’ll have you know my Combat Skill is level 8!
With just one solid punch, the man went flying across the room. At the same moment my fist smashed into his face, I snatched the ring, which now sparkled in my hand.
The man, sprawled on the floor, burst into sobs as he bit down on his fist.
“Miss Crow Thief accepted my proposal, sniff…”
“I did NOT.”
“You accepted my proposal…”
At this level, delusion is basically an illness.
