CHAPTER 112……………………………….
“Are you still playing that boring quiz game? I’ll say it again, Rutger Veilan — there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that I can’t find your illness. You’re just healthy.”
“……”
“There are plenty of patients waiting behind you, so just go.”
“There wasn’t anyone there.”
The paper in Anita’s hand crumpled. She thought maybe it was time to hire a security guard — someone who could throw out the kind of nuisance who hung around the clinic all day without reason and interfered with business.
It’d cost money, sure, but compared to the stress Rutger caused her, it would be a small price to pay.
“Go.”
Too tired to deal with him anymore, Anita weakly waved her hand. She wasn’t going to forgive everything just because he said a few smooth words. If anything, his excuses only made her like him less.
And she hated it even more when he acted like nothing had happened.
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
“…Why would I?”
“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”
“……”
“I heard you had dinner with Rowen the other day.”
Anita’s brow furrowed. How on earth had he found that out?
“That was… just a consultation.”
The excuse slipped out before she realized it. Seeing her waver, Rutger’s lips curved slightly upward.
“That’s not a problem, is it? It was basically an extension of work hours. He said he didn’t have time otherwise…”
Anita felt indignant. Whether she ate dinner with Rowen or anyone else was none of Rutger’s business. Rowen, her neighbor, was nearly forty — a man overly concerned with his health. Anita had only agreed to give him some advice as thanks for the help he’d given her.
“So what?”
“What do you mean, so what? That’s all it was.”
Anita folded her arms firmly. She didn’t want to get dragged into his nonsense again.
“What about me?”
“……”
“Why can’t I?”
Before she could even respond, Rutger’s eyebrows drooped pitifully.
“Is it because I’m your ex? Is that why you can’t even stand to look at me?”
Her tightly crossed arms dropped limp at her sides. Anita’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. She hadn’t expected him to bring that up — not after all this time. Since they’d met again, neither of them had mentioned it.
There hadn’t been any need to talk about it.
Is he insane?
Anita was finally sure of it. Rutger Veilan had gone completely mad. He’d never been the most reasonable person before, but this was a new level of absurd.
Still, if his goal was to leave her speechless, he’d succeeded spectacularly.
“Are you seriously going to be like this?”
“What am I doing?”
Unbelievable. Just like she had done earlier, Rutger crossed his arms and looked at her blankly — as if he had no idea what he’d done wrong.
“Go. Just go.”
She didn’t want to be tangled up with him anymore. Over the past six years, Anita had gone through all kinds of things — running out of food and surviving three days on water alone, or losing medical equipment to a sudden sandstorm.
And in that sense, Rutger was remarkable — the only person who could still make her feel this exasperated.
“I asked if you really hate me that much.”
He wasn’t leaving until he got an answer. He stood there stubbornly, as if rooted to the floor.
Anita had no justification to throw him out. After all, he was here as a patient. If he wanted an examination, she at least had to pretend to oblige.
I’m definitely hiring a guard, she thought.
Rutger, oblivious to her thoughts, smiled confidently. Clearly, he thought he’d won.
“Fine.”
“…Wait, seriously?”
After all that pushing and insisting, now that she’d agreed, he looked taken aback.
“Yes. Would I lie about something like this?”
“……”
He squinted, still not quite believing her. Anita ignored his suspicious gaze, walked to the door, and opened it — a silent gesture telling him to leave.
“How about tomorrow at seven?”
“Uh, sure. Yeah.”
He nodded dumbly, glancing back at her even as he left the room. Anita slipped her hands into her coat pockets and smiled faintly.
Seeing her smile, Rutger smiled back — though his grin looked painfully strained.
The moment he was out, Anita shut the door firmly.
Was what she’d said really so hard to understand? “Don’t come without a reason” — that was all she’d meant. The instant he left, Anita buried her face in her hands.
She was exhausted — more than she’d ever been, even after staying up three nights straight studying until she got nosebleeds.
Rutger didn’t even know why he was doing all this. He just still couldn’t believe Anita, who’d disappeared from his life for years, now lived so close by.
So he went to see her every morning — to make sure what he’d seen wasn’t a mirage or dream.
It was like the way he used to read the newspaper daily, checking whether there’d been any deaths in Eriston. The papers still got delivered to his doorstep every day.
He didn’t bother reading them anymore; they piled up on his porch, unopened. But he didn’t mind — it felt good not needing to check them anymore.
“Go. Just go.”
Even though Anita pushed him away every time, he didn’t care anymore. His daily visits seemed to be working — her reactions were growing weaker by the day.
She’d stopped resisting, almost as if resigned to seeing him. It wasn’t what he’d planned, but he found it satisfying all the same.
Maybe this was what he’d wanted all along. Things between them couldn’t really get worse. They could just… stay like this.
“Hi.”
Rutger greeted her casually, as if he were visiting his own home. Anita sighed, exhaustion plain on her face.
He didn’t say anything else, only smiled — because whatever he said, she’d react the same way anyway.
Then one day, she suddenly agreed to have dinner with him.
“Brendan, could you tell Rutger I’m sick?”
“Huh?”
He gave her a look full of reluctance — like he was wondering why he had to deal with something so bothersome.
“Just once, please. Think of it as saving a life.”
Brendan sighed dramatically, but finally nodded and went downstairs.
Anita planned not to leave her room at all that day. She’d have to face Rutger again sooner or later anyway — tomorrow or the day after. That could wait. For now, she didn’t want to move an inch.
Rutger wasn’t the patient type. He’d wait a while, then go home. Thinking that, Anita pulled her blanket over her head.
She didn’t feel the need to stay on his good side anymore. If she showed up for dinner, he might get the wrong idea. She didn’t want to give him false hope.
Standing him up felt cowardly — but she didn’t see another choice.
“What’s it matter anyway,” she muttered aloud. If her heart softened over something like this, she’d be doomed to live this way forever.
He didn’t realize it, but Rutger had spent the entire day staring at the clock. The hands seemed to move unbearably slowly.
It wasn’t a date. Just dinner. That’s all. Still, he was dazed all day — dropped a cup, walked into a wall, three times.
When he finally noticed his palms were sweaty, he rubbed them on his clothes. Anita Rodel — of all people. He’d known her over ten years, shared more than five hundred meals with her. Nothing special about it at all.
“Damn it.”
Finally, he jumped to his feet. Sitting still wasn’t helping.
There were still three hours until dinner, but he stopped by a flower shop.
“Big night? Got a date?” the cheerful clerk asked as she tied a ribbon around the bouquet.
“Would you like to add a card?”
Rutger just gave her a flat look. The clerk, unnerved, cleared her throat.
“All done.”
Taking the bouquet, he paid and stepped outside — then stopped, checking his reflection. A date. Ridiculous.
He usually wore paint-stained aprons or work clothes. Today, he’d put on a suit — not because it was a date, but because showing up sloppy would’ve been rude.
“It’s just basic manners,” he muttered, half-convincing himself.
He arrived at the restaurant at five — two hours early. Pathetic. But going home felt even more so.
Seven o’clock came and went. No Anita. He wasn’t worried — she was probably caught up at work. She was always busy, unlike him.
He leaned against the wall, unbothered.
Half an hour later, still no sign of her.
“She’s really late,” he murmured, tapping his shoe against the ground. Maybe she’d feel guilty if she saw him waiting outside. Better to go in first, grab a table.
He sat alone — everyone else was with friends or lovers. A man at the next table was proposing; Rutger turned away as the woman shrieked with joy.
Would Anita react like that? He wondered stupidly what it’d be like if he were that man, kneeling before her with a ring. Would she look happy… or—
“Ready to order, sir?”
He blinked. “No, I’m waiting for someone.”
“Of course.”
By now, it was nearly nine.
Had something happened? Anita wasn’t the type to break a promise. Which meant… something must’ve gone wrong.
Grabbing his coat and the now-drooping bouquet, Rutger stood.
Outside, the rain was deafening. The drizzle he’d seen through the restaurant window was a downpour now. It felt like hailstones, not rain.
In weather like this, anything could’ve happened — and Anita hated the rain.
He borrowed an umbrella from the host and stepped out.
Bang, bang!
The door rattled violently. Anita, curled up in bed reading, shot upright.
Who could that be at this hour?
She glanced at the clock. Nine o’clock. Her eyes widened — she’d completely forgotten about the dinner. A flicker of unease crept in.
He wouldn’t… come here, would he?
As the banging grew louder, she hesitated, then rushed to the window. Outside, the rain was pouring. Water splashed in as she cracked the window — she slammed it shut again.
“Hold on!”
Her hair was soaked just from that. Pushing it out of her face, she hurried downstairs. If Rutger had waited all this time — in this storm — she’d feel awful.
But wait. She’d asked Brendan to tell him she was sick. Hadn’t she?
Puzzled, she unlocked the clinic door.
Half the door was glass — she could see the visitor. A tall, broad figure in a black raincoat. She couldn’t see the face.
Rutger?
Water dripped from the raincoat’s hem. Anita fumbled for her keys.
Then she froze. What if it wasn’t him? What if it was someone dangerous? It was raining so hard she could barely see. The person had their hood up to their lips — how could she be sure?
Sensing her hesitation, the figure pushed the hood back.
Anita’s jaw dropped.
“Why are you—”
It was Edmund. Smiling, rain streaming down his face.
“Let me stay the night. I’ve got nowhere to go.”
(And the story continues with Rutger watching from afar, seeing Edmund enter her home, the bouquet dropping into the rain, and the aftermath with Anita, Brendan, and Edmund the next day — through to the scene where Anita finds Rutger collapsed and tends to him as he feverishly murmurs that he came because he missed her.)
