Episode 43
“Had fun! Let’s play again next time!”
The child waved happily at Emilia before running back home.
Emilia forced a smile and waved back.
“Yeah, let’s play again.”
But deep down, her chest felt heavy and uneasy.
When the child disappeared inside, the woman standing beside Emilia let out a quiet sigh.
She had seen the darkness hidden behind Emilia’s smile.
Sensing her gaze, Emilia turned to her.
“Amy, the mood in the village feels strange today. You should go home soon.”
“…Did you happen to hear anything?”
“Sorry, but things looked so tense over there that I didn’t dare go close.
All I know is—it’s better to keep quiet for now.”
This was the same woman who had once pulled her child away the moment their eyes met with Emilia’s.
She still felt guilty about it.
Even though Emilia had told her many times not to worry, the woman tried to be friendlier to make up for it.
Emilia appreciated the gesture, so she smiled back warmly before parting ways.
Once the woman went home, Emilia didn’t turn toward her own house—instead, her feet carried her toward the building where the Casper family knights were staying.
‘Should I even be going there?’
The truth was, she was scared.
She had been able to forgive Edwin because he had taken the first step to apologize.
But the others? She had no idea how they’d treat her.
She was, after all, the duchess who had thrown away her duties and run away.
She knew exactly how nobles looked at those who failed their obligations—she’d seen it countless times.
Even if Edwin accepted her, what if his people didn’t? Then history would just repeat itself.
Emilia clenched her fists. No. She refused to go through that again.
Even if they looked at her with contempt, she needed to face this sooner or later—if she wanted to truly stand by Edwin’s side.
As she approached the building, the first person she saw was a young knight standing guard.
“You can’t come in right now.”
Judging by her plain clothes, he thought she was just some villager curious about the commotion, and he tried to send her away.
At first Emilia wondered if he was acting cold on purpose—but then she noticed he was really young, probably someone who had never even seen her before.
That explained it.
“M-Milady!”
From the other side, his senior recognized her right away and called out.
‘It’s been a long time since I’ve heard someone call me that…’
Back then, whenever people addressed her as “milady,” their eyes had always been cold. No matter what she did, the judgment in their gaze never softened.
But now—knights were running over from every direction.
“The duchess is here!”
“Everyone gather! Milady has come!”
“What? Are you sure? Milady?”
Dozens of voices rang out at once. To them it was just noisy chatter, but to Emilia, it was overwhelming.
Still, she forced herself to keep calm, lifted the corners of her lips, and acted glad to see them.
If she’d been met with the same icy looks as before, she might have lost all her courage. But this time, she felt something different.
For the first time, it felt like maybe… maybe there was still a place for her to return to.
“Where’s Edwin?”
She didn’t forget why she’d come. She needed to know—was the rumor about someone being badly injured true? Could it have been him?
The knights’ excitement dimmed the moment they realized why she was here.
One of them stepped forward.
“The duke is currently out leading the knights.”
Emilia wanted to ask where, but she swallowed the question. She didn’t want to put them in a difficult position.
The truth was, the knights themselves were grateful for this moment.
Edwin had encouraged them before to go and meet her, to apologize properly. But none of them had dared to.
They all carried guilt. Not one of them had stepped forward for her when she needed them most.
They had only stood by and watched. Because of that, they hadn’t felt worthy of seeking her forgiveness.
But now that she was right in front of them, they felt they couldn’t waste the chance.
“Since you’re busy, I’ll take my leave.”
“Milady… we don’t deserve to say anything to you.”
The words hung heavy in the air.
They were knights—supposed to be the bravest men in the land.
Yet not one of them had had the courage to stand by her side before.
But now, at least one knight finally dropped to his knees in front of her.
And as soon as he did, the others followed—one by one, until all of them knelt.
Emilia stood silently, watching.
“We should’ve protected you first. If we had, Beati would’ve never dared act out of line against you.”
She didn’t deny their words.
If they had spoken up, even once, if they had stood with her just a little, things might have gone differently.
But they hadn’t. They had left her completely isolated, choosing to “stay neutral.”
She had rotted away from the inside out, until finally, she had no expectations left of them.
That’s why she’d been able to leave so decisively.
“…I’ve long since let go of what happened between us.”
She didn’t want to blame them anymore. What good would it do? Blame wouldn’t erase the past.
Even if someone begged her with a sword in hand, demanding she absolve their guilt—she wouldn’t take the blade.
Henry had left her no choice, but this was different. These men had come to her on their own, to apologize.
“Milady, how could you forgive us? If we had stood by you, maybe you would’ve adapted better in the household.”
They looked at her with pained eyes.
They weren’t wrong. If they’d supported her, maybe she could’ve endured a little longer.
Maybe she could’ve survived the scorn, the insults, the constant humiliation.
But the truth was—she’d had nothing to cling to.
Nothing.
Even as a duchess, all she really had was the ring Edwin had given her… and her own body.
“We’re all guilty. Please… don’t let us off too lightly.”
But Emilia didn’t want to condemn them.
There had been countless others who had mocked and ignored her too—retainers, servants, everyone in the household.
To them, she’d been nothing more than a crow dressed in a swan’s feathers.
“You’re the ones who have always stood by Edwin. I don’t want to treat Edwin’s people harshly.”
“Milady, even so…”
“All I ask… is that you remember the difference between not knowing and knowing.”
“Not knowing… and knowing?”
She nodded.
That was her warning.
When they hadn’t known Edwin’s true feelings for her, she couldn’t fault them. But now? Now that they understood his heart, things had to change.
Mistakes made in ignorance—she would forgive.
Mistakes made knowingly—she would not.
“Yes! We’ll remember that!”
The knights shouted together, lifting their heads to her.
Hearing their voices, Emilia smiled softly, satisfied. Then she turned away.
She wanted to see Edwin, but she couldn’t just linger here waiting endlessly.
So she headed back home, her heart a little lighter than before.
