Chapter 29
After Castian left behind that strange lingering feeling and went away, I couldn’t fall asleep for a long time.
Countless thoughts cluttered my mind.
I tossed and turned until dawn, and eventually gave up trying to sleep, sitting up in bed.
If I slept now, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning.
“Guess I’ll pack my things…”
I staggered to the wardrobe.
I was trying to prepare the bag for the expedition, but the wardrobe was overflowing with the dazzling dresses Ellicia had given me.
Damn these dawn emotions.
My heart became unsettled again.
When Marcus said that because I was a necromancer, I couldn’t even be an ordinary person, I had felt wronged and angry.
But when Ellicia said that because of my status I couldn’t become the Duchess of Bernstein, it was sad but something I could accept.
I couldn’t even resent her, because I knew the difference between the two.
Ellicia had never blamed or despised me for being a necromancer and a commoner.
She just wanted to protect the son she loved.
To protect Castian.
How could I not understand, when I myself had once risked my life to save Castian?
Since I had promised to be her friend, there was no choice but to give up the number one rule of transmigration novels.
First loves aren’t meant to come true anyway.
As I placed the first dress Castian had bought me into the bag, tears welled up again.
The man himself wasn’t even thinking about it, yet here I was, liking him alone, breaking up with him alone, and putting on a whole dramatic show by myself.
Still, after spending the whole night sorting out my feelings, I felt much lighter.
I even finished packing the bag, filled entirely with the clothes Castian had given me.
Morning light of the expedition day was already breaking through the window, and I was just about to get up to wash when there came a lively knock.
“Lady Lydia? It’s Catherine. You must get up now.”
Wondering what was happening so early, I opened the door and Catherine entered with three maids in tow.
“Did you sleep well, my lady? The preparations for the departure are all finished.”
“Preparations? What preparations?”
I had already packed, so was there something else I didn’t know about?
Tilting my head, I saw that the three maids were each holding large trunks.
Catherine busily introduced them while pacing around the room.
“These are the maids who will attend you during the expedition. We’ve also prepared a carriage exclusively for Lady Lydia. But my lady, what happened to your face?”
“My face doesn’t matter, Catherine. But what’s this about maids and a carriage? And why are you calling me like that?”
“Lady Ellicia commanded that you be treated with the same respect as the young lady of the Bernstein Duchy.”
Catherine beamed proudly.
The duchess was indeed thorough.
The power of her guardianship was intoxicating already, but an expedition wasn’t a pleasure trip.
It wasn’t like I could bring along a train of maids when we were heading off to fight black magicians.
One burden in the expedition party—me—was already more than enough.
“I’m grateful for the duchess’s kindness, but my luggage is all here. The maids don’t need to come with me.”
I pointed to the bag I had already packed. Catherine looked flustered.
“But my lady, that tiny bag won’t even hold a portable tea set.”
“I don’t need a tea set. This is enough, so no carriage either.”
“What? Then where should we put the silver washbasin and the portable bath?”
“Why would you even bring a portable bath?!”
“How else will you bathe, my lady?”
Catherine blinked her big eyes, clearly baffled.
She seemed like such a good person, and yet, once again, we couldn’t communicate.
I gratefully accepted the sentiment but declined the duchess’s favor.
Catherine insisted my face was in such a bad state that at least a massage was needed, but finally left with a sulky look.
Looking in the mirror, I had to admit my swollen, puffy face from lack of sleep was indeed a serious problem.
I rubbed my cheeks hard with my fists, washed up, grabbed my bag, and stepped out.
Eden was waiting outside my door. When he saw me, he bowed his head.
“I apologize for last night.”
“Huh? For what?”
“From now on, no matter what happens, I will not let my attention stray and will protect you, Lady Lydia!”
He shouted solemnly, but I had no idea what he meant.
“…Thanks.”
Since I had no other reply for someone swearing to protect me, I just thanked him. His face lit up like a puppy thrilled with a treat.
“I’ll carry your bag!”
And with that, he grabbed my luggage and led the way.
He really looked like a dog going for a walk—was this okay?
When I reached the front of the duchy with Eden, the expedition party and knights were gathered.
Standing in front of a pitch-black carriage, Castian turned toward me.
“Lydia.”
He called me in a warm voice, smiling so brightly it outshone the morning sun.
“I was anxious, wondering what I would do if you said you weren’t coming.”
From early morning, his beauty felt lethal—shouldn’t I be the one who’s anxious here?
I had worried about how to face him after last night’s strange atmosphere.
But what was this? He was shining so brightly I could hardly look at him.
Embarrassed but smiling back, I said,
“Of course I’m going. His Majesty told me to earn merit, after all.”
“Never thought there’d come a day when the emperor would be useful.”
Castian chuckled and opened the carriage door for me, even offering his hand so I could board comfortably.
Was this man planning to burst the hearts of every black magician during the expedition?
Or was he smiling like this just to burst mine first?
Aren’t we supposed to be on the same side?
That smile—like I could repent of everything right now—completely stole my soul.
It felt like only the two of us existed in the world.
At least, until an uninvited foot intruded.
Marcus set one foot on the carriage step and said smoothly,
“Would you not let me ride as well, Lady Lydia?”
Before I could answer, Castian blocked him.
“No.”
“There seems to be plenty of space. Don’t be so stingy.”
An untimely staring contest began, neither side giving in.
I stepped in, exasperated.
“Let him ride, my lord. The carriage is spacious.”
At my words, Castian relented, but lowered his voice in warning.
“Not a single hair on Lydia’s head is to be harmed.”
“…Fine. Understood.”
Marcus grumbled, climbing in, and I sat across from him.
“We’ll ride until sunset. If you get too tired, tell Eden—he’ll be close by.”
“I’ll be fine. The seats are comfortable.”
I smiled as I said it, but Castian lingered, reluctant to leave the carriage.
Only when someone called for him did he finally step away, his eyes full of concern.
He was the one who would be busiest and most exhausted, yet he was worrying about me.
As I watched his retreating figure through the window, Marcus looked around and remarked,
“Seems this carriage has been reinforced with fireproofing and defensive magic.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s a little fortress, impervious to fire and magic alike. Looks like the duke is quite worried about you.”
I glanced around the carriage interior—it did seem faintly imbued with magical energy.
His thoughtfulness, which I almost overlooked, warmed my heart.
Marcus pressed into the soft cushions that were almost too comfortable, then reclined.
“It’ll take at least a week to reach Mount Malfren. I’ll be in your care until then.”
Mount Malfren—the stronghold of the black magicians.
Even now, in the abandoned castle halfway up the mountain, the ritual to summon the Demon King was underway.
Only about three weeks remained until its completion.
By the time the expedition reached Mount Malfren, less than two weeks would be left.
We had to stop the black magicians and interrupt the ritual before then. This was no time to be moping about unrequited love.
I straightened up and spoke politely to Marcus.
“I’ll be counting on you as well. Your strength will be a great help.”
Marcus, half-reclined in his seat, looked embarrassed at my words.
“Well, with the duke involved, things should work out fine.”
“Even so, we all need to work together. It’s about saving the world.”
I had only meant to encourage him not to shirk responsibility, but once said, my words embarrassed me.
It didn’t seem fitting for me—the biggest burden of this expedition—sitting comfortably in a fortress-like carriage, to talk like that.
Pretending to look out the window, I tried to hide my awkwardness. After a long silence, Marcus finally spoke in a heavy voice.
“Lady Lydia, you sometimes make me feel ashamed.”
“…Pardon?”
“After awakening to the power to heal, I chose the path of a priest, thinking it was only natural. Healing is a righteous power, and priests are the righteous followers of the gods—or so I believed.”
It sounded half like he was talking to me, half like he was talking to himself.
After a pause, he continued in a self-mocking tone.
“But living on, I came to doubt. Villains are everywhere, and at some point, I could no longer confidently say I wasn’t one of them.”
“You’re a good man, Marcus.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he seemed to need comfort.
Good and bad were subjective judgments anyway, so I offered him what comfort I could.
Marcus looked at me for a while, then gave a weary smile, his eyebrows drooping.
“See? You make me feel ashamed.”
I wanted to say that wasn’t my intention, but after his smile faded, his face looked lighter than before.
Ever since he’d learned I was a necromancer, he had always shown a subtle, inexplicable resistance toward me. But now, the green eyes looking at me were clear and unclouded.
As I thought that Marcus was, in a different way than Castian, also a truly beautiful person, the carriage set off.
