Chapter 05

Cake was only the beginning.

Nina told Adrian about the New Year banquet the servants held.

She talked about how much money the Duchess had spent that year, how much the butler had embezzled, and how much leftover food had been thrown away after the banquet.

Finally, she concluded that she quite liked her position as a kitchen maid.

Adrian had no choice but to nod.

“You’re just a glutton, Nina.”

“What? Did you really just say that? …Well, I can’t exactly deny it.”

Nina admitted it without hesitation, and Adrian laughed again.

When her stories ended, Adrian spoke about the books he had been reading recently and his worries about his lack of progress in swordsmanship.

It was a pleasant evening befitting a New Year celebration.

As it grew late, Nina stood up reluctantly.

“I’ll see you next time.”

“Good night.”

“You too, Young Master.”

Feeling in high spirits, Nina picked up the dishes and stepped into the hallway.

She was humming softly when she turned the corner—

And bumped into someone.

“Oh. So it was you, little rat.”

A refined, smooth aristocratic voice.

Nina stared blankly at the woman in luxurious green velvet before hastily dropping to her knees.

“I greet Your Grace.”

The Duchess looked down at her with a bright smile.

“There was a rat in my house. How disgusting.”

Her voice was almost girlish as she added,

“Do you think it would be clean if we shaved it bare and poured water over it?”

A chill ran down Nina’s spine.

But she had no intention of screaming or causing a scene.

Adrian would hear it.

“Best done by the well, I think.”

The Duchess said that, then turned back the way she came, gliding away as lightly as she had arrived.

* * *

After that, things became quite difficult.

Considering it was January, Nina only survived because she was a spirit contract holder.

For a twelve-year-old girl, it was an unbearable humiliation and pain.

The Duchess, not expecting her to survive, quickly forgot about her after issuing the order.

The servants who had been kind to Nina did not strip her naked, but they did leave her in her undergarments.

Wearing clothes would have drained her body heat faster, but being seen naked by the entire household was worse.

Being drenched in icy well water in January, in front of onlookers, in nothing but undergarments was an experience she never wanted to repeat.

Adrian did not know what had happened to Nina.

So when she failed to appear for several days, he eventually went to the kitchen to look for her.

When he saw Nina—her hair shorn unevenly, wrapped in a towel, trembling with fever—he was speechless.

The kitchen maids who cared for her pleaded with him to stay away from her.

Adrian returned to his room in silence.

By the time Nina regained consciousness, he had already made up his mind.

Adrian stopped speaking to her and ignored her completely, occasionally even throwing sharp words her way.

In the end, Nina had no choice but to sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night.

“Adrian!”

She nearly pounced onto him from the bed, startling him.

“I know you’re doing this because you don’t want to lose me. But if you keep this up, you’ll lose me in the worst way possible.”

Adrian said nothing.

Nina only looked into his beautiful rose-colored eyes.

The standoff did not last long. In the end, Adrian was the one who gave in.

He shut his eyes tightly.

“But Nina… but…”

Seeing his struggle, Nina proposed a compromise.

“Then let’s just pretend not to know each other in public. But I’ll still come at night. That should be fine, right?”

Adrian was still uneasy, but he agreed.

* * *

From that day on, they pretended not to know each other in public, but met at night.

They had nearly broken apart once, but their bond survived—and became even stronger.

They continued their act of indifference.

No eye contact.

No acknowledgment.

And yet, through fleeting touches of fingertips, flowers placed on window ledges, and walking the same garden paths, they communicated.

And on nights when surveillance was lax, Nina would sneak into Adrian’s room.

There, they could finally face each other and talk properly.

Some might pity them.

And if Nina said, “We’re still happy,” someone might respond that it was just self-delusion—that theirs was a miserable life without proper food or comfort.

But Nina had no intention of leaving her happiness in the hands of others.

She held the reins of her own joy.

She had no intention of letting others define it.

Nina chose the path where she was happy, not the path others called happiness.

Life was always filled with hardship and sorrow, and finding joy within it was something only she could do.

She had no intention of letting others judge or compare the happiness she carved out for herself.

Nina was an expert at finding joy in life.

And every time she did, Adrian would smile faintly.

* * *

Two years later.

When Adrian turned fifteen, what Nina had been preparing for—and what Adrian had only feared might happen—finally came to pass.

The Duke appointed him as the commander of the Black Knight Order.

He was to be sent to the front lines at fifteen.

No one was ignorant of the infamous Violet Forest.

The mortality rate of the Black Knight Order was nearly fifty percent.

Anyone could see it clearly:

He was being sent there to die.

Adrian called Nina.

In broad daylight, openly.

Her hair had grown slightly longer—but still far too slowly for what she wished.

The maids said it was because she wasn’t eating enough.

Nina thought that was probably true.

Adrian calmly told her he had been appointed commander of the Black Knight Order.

Then he opened a box.

Inside was everything he owned.

Two large gold coins.

Five large silver coins.

One silver brooch.

That was the entire wealth of the Duke’s eldest son.

“Leave the Ducal House, Nina.”

He said it with a gentle smile.

“This should be enough for your freedom. I won’t be here anymore. Maybe it’ll be easier without me… but just in case.”

“Young Master!”

“I’m fine. It’s probably better if I leave here anyway. At least there’ll be fewer worries.”

He looked at her.

“My only worry… is you.”

“Adrian.”

Nina reached out and cupped his cheeks.

When she pulled his face closer, his eyes widened.

“You don’t have to smile at me like that.”

“Nina…”

“Not for me, Adrian.”

“Nina.”

He gritted his teeth.

His hands gripped her arms tightly, and in her embrace, he broke.

A fifteen-year-old boy finally collapsed and cried.

Nina said nothing and held him tightly.

Run away?

Not a chance.

Adrian… you still don’t understand me yet.