Chapter 36
The Reason I’m Still Here
Ellea could tell exactly what Vandel was thinking just by looking at his face, and she smiled as she made her request.
“Please keep this a secret. For the peace of both empires.”
“Yes, of course.”
While the two were talking, they soon arrived at the palace where Terban was waiting. As she was about to enter, guided by the maid who had been waiting for her, Ellea turned to Vandel.
“I still remember the promise we made that day, so you’d better keep it.”
Knowing exactly what promise she meant, Vandel nodded.
“I remember. Please come to the training grounds anytime.”
“Oh? If you say it like that, I might just show up tomorrow.”
“That’s perfectly fine. If it’s you, Your Highness.”
Recalling her earlier playful tone, Vandel accepted readily. Ellea was a bit surprised at his quick response, but she didn’t let the chance slip and accepted it with a bright smile.
“Now that you’ve said that, I think I can get through this moment. Well then.”
Ellea then walked away with the maid, while Vandel remained standing, watching her until she disappeared from view.
He found it rather amusing how she had openly voiced her displeasure at spending time with Terban—even knowing who he was. Other nobles would go to great lengths to gain such moments.
‘She really isn’t an ordinary person.’
* * *
As Ellea stood in front of the dining room doors, she took a deep breath. The maid announced her arrival, and when the doors opened, she cautiously stepped inside.
She heard the door close behind her and looked ahead. Terban was already seated at the table.
When their eyes met, Ellea tensed for a moment, then quickly composed herself and greeted him first.
“It is an honor to see Your Majesty. You’ve arrived early.”
“Yes. Please, have a seat.”
“Thank you for inviting me today.”
Ellea cautiously approached and sat beside Terban, who was in the seat of honor. As she had expected, the moment the greetings ended, silence fell over the room.
‘I knew it. I’m going to choke on my food at this rate.’
But as if reading her mind, Terban’s voice cut through the silence.
“You seem uncomfortable.”
“Not at all. How could I possibly feel uncomfortable dining with Your Majesty?”
Ellea replied with a casual smile, but Terban could sense the awkwardness in it.
He had seen her smiling genuinely at the orphanage, so he could tell this one was forced.
“You don’t have to feel pressured. It’s just a shared meal.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
But even so, she knew she couldn’t let her guard down.
Above all, she was well aware of how cold and ruthless he could be as emperor.
Fortunately, the arrival of the food helped break the tense atmosphere. As the dishes were placed in front of them, Terban spoke.
“Please enjoy your meal, Princess.”
“Thank you.”
With that, Ellea slowly picked up her utensils and began eating. As expected, she couldn’t really taste anything. She usually wasn’t picky about food, but this was just too stressful.
‘I’d rather eat alone.’
As the meal began, Terban initiated a formal conversation.
“Have you settled in well here?”
“Of course. Everyone at the palace has been kind, so I’ve been comfortable.”
“That’s good to hear. If that’s the case, then those in Zebenica won’t have to worry.”
‘So that’s what he’s curious about.’
It was only natural that Zebenica was keeping an eye on her life in Lubein. Terban must have been curious about any letters or communication between her and her family. But he wouldn’t be able to directly confirm that.
‘Or maybe… he already receives reports of my every move. He is the emperor, after all.’
She didn’t know what Terban thought of her, but Ellea wasn’t about to easily reveal anything now that she understood his intentions. After all, she belonged to Zebenica.
She had no intention of handing over any advantageous information, so she brought it up casually.
“Oh, now that I think of it, my brother sent me a letter.”
“A letter?”
“Yes. He must’ve been very worried about me.”
She continued eating calmly after saying that. Terban watched her, but she pretended not to notice.
Realizing the implication behind her words, Terban responded in kind.
“Then I assume you replied that you’re doing well, just as you told me now.”
“Who knows? My answer could change at any time, don’t you think?”
‘Definitely not an easy opponent.’
Then, as if reading his thoughts, Ellea smiled and said,
“Do I seem different from what Your Majesty expected? Perhaps… not so easy to deal with?”
A strange tension filled the air between them—like beasts ready to strike at any moment of weakness.
“Judging by that surprised look in your eyes, I guess I was right.”
“You’re right, Princess.”
Terban didn’t hide the truth, but he also didn’t look like he was going to back down.
“I suppose you thought I was a naive, clueless, and spoiled brat.”
“I can’t deny that.”
That had indeed been his assumption. With little information about her, and as the only princess of an empire—especially one with a frail body—he naturally expected she would be indulged no matter what she did.
Of course, that assumption had flipped the moment he met her in person.
“Your Majesty, do you know what I did first when I woke up from my coma?”
Terban wasn’t sure why she was asking that, but Ellea smiled, unfitting the heavy atmosphere.
“I started over as a princess. Relearning etiquette, gaining knowledge, building stamina—all the things I hadn’t been able to do. I didn’t want to worry my family anymore. That’s also why I insisted on coming to Lubein, despite their objections.”
She explained the circumstances that had brought her here with seriousness.
“I know that deep down, Your Majesty wished for Crown Prince Bellea to come here instead. Since he’s the future emperor, his presence would surely be more beneficial to Lubein.”
The moment he realized she had correctly grasped his true intentions, Terban understood that this princess wasn’t someone to be underestimated.
“That’s exactly why I came—because I didn’t want that. I wanted to fulfill my duties as Zebenica’s princess.”
“And the reason you’re telling me this now is?”
“To make it clear that if you ever touch my country or my people, I won’t sit by quietly. I have no intention of dancing to anyone’s tune here.”
Ellea met his eyes without flinching. For just a brief second, a flash of murderous intent passed through her gaze.
“That’s all I wanted to say. Shall we end the heavy talk here?”
Her tone and demeanor shifted instantly, and she returned to eating as if nothing had happened.
The sudden change in her attitude made Terban chuckle involuntarily.
Ellea looked at him in surprise.
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to approach you.”
“What you saw just now—and earlier—are all part of who I am.”
Ellea had taken a risk by provoking him, but it was all for the sake of her family and her country.
It was also a warning: do not underestimate me.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem offended.
“I understand what you meant.”
“If I sounded rude, I apologize. It’s just that this place is very precious to me.”
Her sincerity showed in her voice, and Terban could understand where she was coming from. He too was a ruler with people to protect.
“You really are different from what I saw at the orphanage.”
Caught off guard by the sudden mention of that day, Ellea started coughing.
“Why are you bringing that up now?”
“Why not? It’s just the two of us.”
“Still…”
She hadn’t expected him to bring it up. She had hoped he would pretend not to have noticed—but clearly, he had no such intention.
He even seemed to enjoy her flustered reaction. Or was she just imagining it?
“I just can’t understand why you’d be interested in something like that. Especially since this isn’t even Zebenica.”
She had expected this reaction, so she wasn’t as surprised this time.
“It’s just… unexpected.”
“There’s no special reason. Just…”
Ellea set down her utensils and spoke honestly—a thought she’d had ever since she was Elle.
“I just wanted to protect their daily lives. Let them eat good food, play, and satisfy their curiosity. As you know, those children already carry their own pains. I couldn’t just stand by.”
She didn’t want those fragile lives to follow the same painful path she had. She hoped they could live a different kind of life.
“Do you think it’s hypocritical of me to say this, as a princess? There’s nothing more ridiculous than someone preaching about something they don’t understand.”
That strange man she’d encountered once was probably right. Maybe she really was the most hypocritical of them all.
Noticing the complex emotion in her eyes, Terban said something rather uncharacteristic—almost like he was trying to comfort her.
“Even so, what you’re doing is admirable.”
From the moment he met her until now, not once had she struck him as hypocritical. He could see her sincere desire to help others.
That’s why she wasn’t just thinking about it—she was actually taking action.
“Thank you for saying that. Then, could I ask you one more favor? Please don’t tell anyone else.”
“Is there a reason it must stay hidden?”
“I just don’t want people talking about it. I don’t even want the children to know who I am.”
Her honest desire to keep it secret caught Terban off guard. Most people would go out of their way to publicize their good deeds. But she was desperately trying to hide them.
‘And yet she called herself a hypocrite?’
Suddenly, Terban thought: perhaps the person who understands her the least is Ellea herself.
