Chapter 33
Chasing Traces
When Ellea introduced herself as “El” too, the children looked at her with tear-filled eyes, surprised.
Thankfully, just as she had intended, the tears stopped immediately.
“Really?”
“Of course. I want to become friends with all of you.”
Relieved by the children’s reactions, Ellea began to relax a little—until a loud voice suddenly rang out.
“No!”
“Huh?”
“You’re not El-noona. You’re not!”
When Ellea turned toward the voice, a young boy was standing up and glaring at her. He clearly didn’t like her sudden appearance.
“Hey…”
“If you’re not the real El-noona, I don’t want you here. Don’t come back.”
“Ben!”
After saying that, the boy opened the door and stormed out. Lemil called out after him, but it was no use. She then turned to Ellea with an embarrassed and apologetic expression.
“I’m sorry. He was especially attached to El.”
“It’s okay. Please stay with the children. I’ll go talk to him.”
“But—”
“It’s really okay. I want to get along with all of them.”
Taking Lemil’s place, Ellea hurried out to find Ben.
She had expected something like this might happen, but now that she was facing it directly, it was still overwhelming. She couldn’t help but feel guilty—as if she was the reason he was so upset.
I should have been more careful.
She knew all the children at the orphanage, including Ben, carried the same wounds. She should have approached more delicately, with more caution. Now it just felt like everything was her fault.
“Ben. Ben!”
Frantically searching around, worried that he might have left the orphanage grounds, she finally spotted a small figure curled up under a tree.
The moment she realized it was Ben, she let out a breath of relief.
Seeing him with his head buried in his knees, crying, Ellea quietly sat down beside him without saying a word.
Ben sensed someone approach and lifted his head. The moment he saw it was Ellea, his expression showed surprise.
“What do you want, all of a sudden…”
“I came to apologize. I’m sorry. It must have felt like I was asking you to forget someone precious.”
“That’s…”
She understood all too well the grief and emptiness that comes when someone you trust suddenly disappears.
She had gone through the exact same thing as Ben when she was younger.
“Can’t we slowly get to know each other—who I am?”
“Together?”
“Yeah. I want to know a lot about you too, Ben.”
Perhaps sensing the sincerity in her voice, Ben hesitated, then began to open up.
“What if everyone forgets El? That’s why I have to remember her alone and wait for her—so she can come back someday.”
That answer was enough to touch Ellea deeply.
To think that such a small child was trying so hard to protect someone—and it was her, someone who couldn’t come back even if she wanted to.
“I’m sure that El would be thankful to know how you feel.”
“Really?”
“Of course. She would want to come see you and everyone else again.”
As she said this, Ellea gently patted his head. She hoped that this small gesture would offer at least a little comfort.
“Do you think she’ll come back to see us?”
At his question, Ellea paused for a moment, but instead of giving an evasive answer, she gave him her own, honest response.
“Even if she doesn’t, I don’t think there’s any reason to be afraid.”
“Huh?”
“Because like you said, the time you spent with her and the feelings you hold are safely kept in your heart and memory. Maybe that’s a little hard to understand?”
But more than anything else, that simple reassurance made Ben feel at ease. Even if he never saw El again, he now knew how important she had been to him—and always would be.
“From now on, I’ll try harder too. Ben, you don’t need to force yourself. I’ll come to you slowly.”
With that, Ellea brushed the dust from her clothes and stood up, holding her hand out to him.
“Now, shall we go eat? I brought lots of delicious food. Everyone’s probably waiting.”
Ben looked at her outstretched hand, then back at her face, and slowly placed his small hand into hers.
Her hand was much softer and warmer than he’d expected. It felt very different from El’s.
“El-noona had calluses on her hand.”
“Really? Then she must have worked hard at something.”
“How did you know?”
When Ben had asked El the same thing before, she had answered just like that.
She said the calluses were from working hard at something she loved, and that they weren’t shameful at all—but something to be proud of.
“Well… someone I know said the same thing.”
At that moment, Ben could tell—without being able to explain how—that she looked somehow pained. It was written all over her face.
So he tugged on her hand and said quietly,
“I see… El-noona.”
The moment he called her that, Ellea froze completely.
She looked at the boy in disbelief. When their eyes met, he grew visibly shy.
“What’s with that look…? I’m just calling you El-noona.”
“…Right.”
“I’m hungry, so let’s go.”
Seeing him take the lead, Ellea swallowed her thanks and simply followed behind. This moment alone was enough for her.
When they walked back in together, Lemil immediately came over, worried. Ellea lifted their joined hands to show they had reconciled.
“Really, Ben, you scared me when you ran off like that.”
“I’m sorry.”
To change the atmosphere, Ellea clapped her hands, drawing the children’s attention.
“Let’s eat, everyone! I prepared something special today.”
The children’s faces immediately lit up. Ellea had long since mastered how to handle situations like this—it came naturally now.
“It’d be nice if someone helped me get things ready…”
“Me!”
“I want to help too!”
When the children raised their hands eagerly, Ellea seized the moment. It was a great way to quickly bond with them.
“Then those who want to help, wash your hands and come to the kitchen. You can help prepare ingredients and set the table.”
“Yes!”
Watching the kids happily rush to the kitchen lifted her spirits as well. Seeing them happy and healthy, even while she’d been away, reassured her.
Still… it’s a relief. They don’t know I died.
Ellea didn’t want the children to grieve upon hearing of her death. As she stood quietly, the kids came over and grabbed her hands.
“El-noona, come on!”
“Hurry, hurry!”
“Alright, let’s see who helps me the most today.”
Before she knew it, Ellea was laughing with them as they headed to the kitchen together.
“She seems to be adjusting well, thankfully. No special reports have come in either.”
“That’s for the best. It’s better for us if things stay quiet.”
As Terban received the report on Ellea from his aide, he recalled the way she had acted so far.
She was still a princess, after all, so he remained vigilant, in case she made any suspicious moves.
But more than that, he couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation they’d had at the banquet—the words she had said at the end, or perhaps something else entirely.
There doesn’t seem to be anything unusual from Zebenica either…
He had thoroughly re-investigated her time in Zebenica just in case, but nothing stood out.
If anything…
They said her personality changed after she woke up from the coma.
She had begun to speak openly with others, actively participate in outside events, and behave as befitted her status. And people there had simply rejoiced at her recovery.
Maybe she was always like that, just overshadowed by her frailty.
As these thoughts ran through his mind, Terban was walking down the hall with his aide when a name in a conversation across the corridor made him stop dead in his tracks.
“Another one? Don’t they know she’s dead?”
“When did El die, anyway? This must be, what, the fifth time? It’s just annoying now.”
“Just toss it. It’s not like she’s around anymore.”
“What did you just say?”
The officials, casually chatting, turned without thinking—only to freeze when they saw Terban right in front of them and quickly bowed.
“Y-Your Majesty!”
“I asked you a question. What did you mean—El?”
Thinking he was angry about her name being spoken, the officials quickly rushed to explain themselves, afraid the blame would fall on them.
“It’s nothing, really. Someone’s been sending letters to Dame El every day for a while now. We were just discussing that—there was no other intent behind it.”
Terban held out his hand, not needing to hear more. He wanted to see the letter himself.
“Give me the letter addressed to El.”
“H-Here it is. The others were all discarded, so this is the only one left.”
“This will do.”
He took the letter and walked past them without another word. A few steps later, he stopped and told his aide,
“You may go.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The aide glanced at the letter, bowed, and left.
Alone now, Terban looked at the envelope. It was white, with El’s name and the sender written clearly.
“The orphanage? Why would the orphanage send this to her?”
Perplexed, he opened it immediately. Inside was a short letter.
“We haven’t heard from you in a while, so I’m sending another letter. I told the children you’re busy, but I worry something might have happened. I know it’s shameless, but we’re in need of your support again, so I’m writing. Even if you can’t help, please just let us know you’re okay. We’re worried.”
“The children are doing well, so please don’t worry. Until next time.”
After reading it all, Terban’s arm dropped, the letter falling limp in his hand.
He’d wondered what the connection to the orphanage was—he hadn’t expected this.
Or… maybe this is just like her.
Now he understood why she’d secretly supported them. That place was part of her past too.
And the fact that these letters were still coming…
They don’t know she’s dead.
It was clear. No one had told them—not even him. Which meant no one knew about the orphanage either.
The El he had known never leaned on others.
Lost in thought, Terban folded the letter and walked away—only to stop again. As if making a decision, he turned around and headed back the way he came.
Back in his office, he threw on a cloak and tucked the letter into his chest. Then he mounted a horse and rode swiftly out of the palace.
Something told him—he had to go there himself.
