Chapter 47
“Sleep over.”
Those words were dangerously tempting, heating up his chest in an instant. Derwin stared at Shanelica with deepened eyes and said,
“That won’t do.”
It would be a lie to say he wasn’t tempted. But Derwin calmed himself and firmly stated his refusal.
“Why not?”
Her eyes widened like a startled rabbit. Derwin carefully took Shanelica’s hands, which were holding his face, and lowered them.
“Because if you hug me, all you’ll want is to really sleep.”
Just by looking at her face, Derwin knew. Shanelica had asked with innocent sincerity. But spending a night in the same bed with the woman he loved without anything happening—
that would be torment.
“And? So what? Why can’t we just hug and sleep?”
“…Do you really not know why?”
Derwin was genuinely curious about her heart. No matter if she thought herself a dragon, surely she knew what might happen when a man and a woman shared a bed at night.
Or… did she truly not know? Dragons were still living beings. Did they not do such acts like other creatures? Was it because of their size…?
“What don’t I know? Oh? Duke, your ears are red!”
Derwin reflexively grabbed his ears—they were indeed burning hot.
He felt ridiculous. Not only for imagining what mythical dragons might do, but also because he’d allowed himself to think of her as if she really were one.
What’s wrong with me…
“In any case, no means no.”
“Today, you’ve been saying nothing but ‘no.’”
Her eyes narrowed.
“You said you wanted to get on my good side, but there are so many things you won’t allow.”
Derwin cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Then aside from just sleeping, what more is it you want to do?”
He had expected her to back down, but of course she didn’t. Puffing out her cheeks, Shanelica glared at him.
“Tell me. I’ll decide whether to let you or not.”
“…It’s nothing.”
“Tch. You won’t even explain properly. Fine then. I’ll just have to look for a spell later that makes dolls feel warm like real people.”
Muttering under her breath, clearly sulking, she added,
“Looks like I’ll be hugging dolls forever!”
She stood up sharply and turned her back on him.
The memory of earlier, when she’d walked away from him alone in the boutique street, flashed in Derwin’s mind. The same unease welled up now—this time stronger, as though if he let her walk away, he’d never, ever share a bed with her in his life.
“Lady Shanelica!”
Before she could go further, he quickly called out.
“I’ll explain. Why it can’t be.”
It felt mortifying to explain such a thing to someone who might truly not know. But if they were to be husband and wife someday, it wasn’t unreasonable either.
“So please, come back and sit.”
“I’ll listen from here. Go on.”
She stood at a distance, arms folded, clearly waiting for his words.
“Well…”
“Well?”
“…I like you. Very much.”
Her left eyebrow shot up at the sudden confession. Sweet as it was, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear right now.
What’s that got to do with it? I asked for a reason.
“I like you too!”
Huh?
Her lips had moved faster than her mind, and her cheeks immediately flushed. Perhaps her heart had leapt ahead of her thoughts. Derwin too looked taken aback.
“A-anyway! I like you too. I know you like me. But I still don’t get why we can’t just sleep together.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. Moments ago, she’d been pouting—now here she was blushing, embarrassed, irresistibly endearing. He clenched his fists tightly, restraining himself from rushing over and crushing her in an embrace.
He steadied himself and continued,
“Because I like you so much… it would be very hard to just lie still, holding you.”
“Why?”
“Because with the person I love, I want to share love physically too.”
He spoke, praying she would understand so he wouldn’t have to say more. If he had to explain further, it might be better to simply pull her into bed and let her learn step by step.
“Huh? How do you share love physically?”
The one question he’d hoped not to hear spilled from her lips. Derwin sighed quietly.
“…Do you know how babies are made?”
“Of course I do.”
“How?”
“The gods send them to mothers when you pray for a child.”
“……”
Derwin sank into despair.
How could she have so little basic knowledge? Where on earth should he even begin?
But then—
“Pfft. I was joking.”
Seeing his grim face, Shanelica burst into laughter. That laughter grew until tears welled at the corners of her eyes.
“Oh, my stomach hurts. Too funny. Sorry, sorry.”
Clutching her belly, she finally calmed down. Derwin was stunned she’d toyed with him, yet also relieved—at least he didn’t have to explain from scratch.
“You’re not mad, right? I was just being a little spiteful. You kept saying no to everything.”
“So… you did know why I refused?”
“Oh. I only realized after you mentioned babies. I really didn’t know what ‘sharing love physically’ meant before.”
Her mint-green eyes, still wet with laughter, now seemed truthful.
“So, the act to make babies… humans call that sharing love physically?”
“……”
“You could have just explained it as a reproductive urge.”
“Re…productive…”
“Humans get that urge when they sleep next to someone they love, right?”
She clapped her hands like she’d figured it out.
Is she joking again?
Derwin felt lost at how to respond.
“Dragons aren’t like that?”
The question slipped out, as though he’d accepted her as a dragon again.
“Hmm. I don’t know yet. I’m still a hatchling.”
“…You mean too young to know?”
“They say we only find out after becoming adults. Dragons can’t reproduce until they’re a thousand years old anyway. I’m not even two hundred yet—still a long way off.”
“……”
“My guess is dragons don’t get urges like that. Think about animals—who mates while they’re asleep? That’s when they’re most tired.”
“……”
“Oh! Wait. Do humans go into heat every time they sleep?”
Reproduce. Mate. Heat.
Derwin felt himself freezing from head to toe under the onslaught of raw, alien words.
“…Let’s put it that way, yes.”
“Then that must be exhausting. No wonder you’d be too tired to get up the next day.”
Her genuine look of wonder made him almost believe she had to be a dragon.
“Hm? What’s wrong with your face?”
“…Nothing. Just… it would be better if you used such words only in front of me.”
“Huh? Did I say something wrong?”
“In human society, those words aren’t commonly spoken aloud.”
Seeing her puzzled expression, Derwin decided to cut it off before he lost his sanity.
“Now that your curiosity is satisfied, please return to your room.”
“What about your… heat?”
“That word is very inappropriate. And as long as we don’t share a bed, I’ll be fine.”
He barely swallowed back the urge to explode.
“Well, I guess I really shouldn’t make a human baby right now anyway. Human women carry babies for ten months… if I turned back into my real form midway, the baby would just vanish.”
Her serious face made him consider correcting her—that making love didn’t always result in a baby—but he let it go. He’d had more than enough shocks tonight.
“By the way, Duke. There’s something I’ve been curious about for days. Can I ask now?”
“Could you wait until tomorrow?”
“I won’t be able to sleep if I do.”
She wasn’t leaving. And if she couldn’t sleep… what could he do? With a resigned sigh, he nodded. At this point, he felt numb enough to handle whatever she might say.
She hurried back and sat beside him.
“I want to know how you lived before you became a knight. Not after—before. Tell me.”
Her eyes sparkled. But Derwin’s face froze—colder, harder than when she’d used shocking words earlier.
Before becoming a knight…
“It was ordinary.”
His curt reply carried a strange chill. Shanelica waited for him to continue, but nothing followed.
“…That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“What do you mean by ordinary? Please tell me in more detail.”
“Just ordinary.”
His short answers left silence hanging heavy between them. She could tell—his face was more closed off than she’d ever seen it. Still, she didn’t give up.
“Then… when did you lose your memory?”
Memory. Was there a hole in mine?
He smirked inwardly. Maybe if he pretended not to remember, she’d cling to the belief he was her destined partner and never leave him.
But no. He couldn’t do that.
“Lady Shanelica. I have no blanks in my memory.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve never lost my memory. I was born in an ordinary family, grew up like any human. And I remember everything.”
She blinked several times.
“You remember everything? Even from childhood?”
“Yes. From the first time I walked to all my years growing up—I remember it all.”
That meant truly everything. No gaps.
She shook her head.
“That can’t be. You’re a dragon in disguise. Dragons can’t possibly remember their childhood.”
“I am not a dragon.”
His black eyes darkened heavily.
“I’ve said it again and again. I cannot be a dragon.”
