Chapter 38
The next day, at the princess’s palace.
Ever since the lunch the five of them had shared yesterday, Derwin’s expression had remained dark. Even when Chanellica ran into him briefly after he finished work that night, it was obvious—unlike usual—that he was not in a good mood.
What could have happened to him? Why had his relationships with the others turned so strained?
When Ferdinand first mentioned the Kaisel Order of Knights, she had been curious but let it slide. After all, she would be leaving here soon enough.
But after yesterday’s lunch, such thoughts vanished completely. No matter what the future held, she was dying to know why Derwin was wearing such a face.
That didn’t mean she could ask him directly. Knowing his personality, he would brush it off as nothing.
So who could she ask?
Not Derwin, not Ferdinand, not Eleusis, not Stern—they were all the wrong people to question. That left only one person.
Princess Lydia.
And so Chanellica had been waiting eagerly since last night for today’s Garion language lesson.
“Lydia, I have something on my mind…”
As the class was ending, Chanellica carefully broached the topic. Seeing her serious expression, Lydia nodded and told her to go on. Chanellica glanced around nervously and then said:
“Could we talk alone?”
At that, Derwin looked toward Lydia. When the princess nodded in assent, Derwin left the room immediately.
“What is it, Chanel? Is it something you don’t want Sir Derwin to hear?”
Lydia’s face grew rather grave.
“It’s not really a problem… I’m just curious. I can’t sleep when I’ve got unanswered questions. But I’ve no one to ask…”
“Tell me. If it’s something I know, I’ll answer.”
Chanellica hesitated theatrically, then asked:
“Sir Knight. Yesterday at lunch, his expression was terrible. Did something happen between him and His Majesty in the past?”
“Ah…”
The unexpected question left Lydia momentarily speechless. At length, she said slowly:
“Yes… but Chanel, why are you so concerned about Sir Derwin?”
“…Just curious. It seemed like not only with His Majesty but also with the commander, his relationship wasn’t good.”
“True, the atmosphere was pretty heavy.”
Lydia let out a small sigh.
“Could you tell me about it? No one else would answer, and it’s not really something I should ask… but I thought you might know best.”
At her words, Lydia nodded. Indeed, no one else would willingly explain.
“Yes, I’ll tell you. To put it simply, Sir Derwin has fallen out of my brother’s favor.”
Just as Chanellica suspected. But what she truly wanted to know was: why?
“Why?”
“I don’t know all the details… but the person who helped my brother most in seizing the throne was Sir Derwin. That’s why he was granted the title of honorary duke.”
That much Chanellica already knew.
“At the time, Sir Derwin was the commander of the Kaisel Order.”
Commander of the Kaisel Order?!
Even as Chanellica’s eyes widened in shock, Lydia continued unfazed.
“But for some reason, he stepped down. They say he resigned of his own will, but to me, it felt more like he was driven out.”
“You don’t know the reason?”
“No. Anyway, he was ready to give up everything and leave the country, but I stopped him. I begged my brother to let me take him as my personal knight.”
Lydia’s cheeks flushed faintly.
“Truth is, I liked him from the first moment I saw him. That’s why it was possible.”
Unlike the last time Lydia had confessed her feelings for Derwin, Chanellica felt an odd discomfort in her chest. But she couldn’t show it now—this was important information.
“My brother liked Sir Derwin very much too. That’s probably why he granted my request and left his title intact.”
“I see… Then why does he get along so poorly with the current commander? Because the commander took his place?”
“I don’t know the exact reason. Rumor has it they were once close friends… but from the look of things, that seems doubtful.”
“The commander seemed fine to me, though.”
“Maybe, but from Sir Derwin’s perspective, it’s a stolen position. Anyway, I plan to speak to my brother later.”
“Why?”
“Since Sir Derwin won’t say anything, I should. I’ll tell him it’s not right to make him deputy commander.”
Lydia was the kind of person who acted directly, ready to do whatever she could for the man she liked.
Chanellica found herself wondering what she could do for Derwin. At the same time, she couldn’t help but envy Lydia’s status as a princess.
When the conversation ended, Lydia suggested afternoon tea. As the tea arrived, Derwin returned to the room and took his place quietly in the corner. Sipping her cup, Chanellica thought:
You… as if losing your memory because of the Game wasn’t enough, your life is tangled in endless complications. What could I possibly do for you?
***
Derwin’s Mansion
Click.
For the first time in a while, the liquor storeroom behind the library opened. From the dust-covered shelves, untouched for ages, Derwin pulled out a dark bottle and settled onto the sofa by the table.
Glug.
The sound of liquor pouring into the glass rang oddly forlorn tonight. Derwin gave a short laugh.
Might as well drink it out of my system.
Late at night, freshly returned from work, he began drinking alone.
He hadn’t thought much of it at first, but that unpleasant feeling from the other day lingered stubbornly. Normally he would have brushed off such words without storing them in his heart. But why did they stay with him this time? Was it because Chanellica had been there?
So bitter.
He downed two glasses in a row. His mouth burned, his throat scorched, and yet his mind grew sharper. Memories from the past came flooding back unbidden. The strong liquor gave him no comfort.
Knock knock.
A sudden knock at the door. But Derwin wanted to be alone. He gave no answer. Surely whoever it was would take the hint and leave.
Creak.
But contrary to expectation, the door opened without permission. Derwin frowned—then relaxed when he saw who it was.
“Lady Chanellica.”
Poking her head through the door was none other than Chanellica.
“Oh! You were here? What are you doing all by yourself?”
She bustled in naturally, her steps quick.
“Wow, this looks like really expensive stuff! Sneaking it all for yourself?”
Derwin’s mind blanked at her sudden intrusion, then quickly returned. Unlike the last time she’d visited him late at night, she wasn’t in nightclothes. But it was still late, he had been drinking, and his mood was unsettled. Anything could happen.
“It’s late. You should return.”
Derwin turned his gaze away as he spoke. Instinct whispered that he mustn’t keep looking at this lovely creature.
“Nope, I don’t want to. I’ll drink with you.”
Ignoring him completely, Chanellica plopped into the seat across from him. Derwin nearly told her again to leave but stopped at the stubborn determination on her face. He chuckled.
How could I ever break that will?
“Then only a little. This liquor is strong—you might pass out.”
“I’ll only know once I try!”
Chanellica declared boldly. Derwin fetched another glass and poured it halfway. Glancing at her, he saw her eyes gleaming with curiosity. Would she still look like that after drinking such strong stuff?
“Cheers!”
“Drink slowly. Savor it.”
“That makes it taste better?”
“That’s what it was made for.”
She nodded and lifted the glass. One sip, two, three.
“Whoa, this is strong! Feels like my throat’s on fire!”
After three gulps, she stared at the glass.
“But it’s good. I’ll have more.”
And she took another sip, then another.
Derwin wondered if he should call for some snacks from the maids. He himself could endure, but on an empty stomach, she would surely suffer.
“Still, I’ll stop here. I have work tomorrow!”
Thankfully, she gave up first. Derwin had just been about to insist.
“But why are you drinking alone like this?”
Her round eyes met his. They were too earnest. He couldn’t help but answer.
“…Good question.”
A non-answer, really.
“You’re upset, aren’t you?”
“…No.”
“Yes, you are. You’ve been like this ever since that day.”
That day?
“The day we all had lunch together.”
Ah.
Derwin realized why she had come. The liquor was just an excuse—she must have been waiting for this chance to ask.
“I’m fine.”
“Liar. You’re downing this harsh liquor all by yourself.”
He didn’t want to show weakness. But in her eyes, perhaps he already had.
“I noticed things myself, and I’ve heard some things too. You’re upset because of yesterday, right?”
“I don’t know what you mean by yesterday.”
He neither denied nor affirmed it. But Chanellica pressed the point.
“You don’t want to be deputy commander of the Kaisel Order, do you?”
“…”
“Sorry. I asked around because it seemed strange. Even at Laila’s tavern, it was clear—you don’t like the commander. And I heard you were once the commander yourself.”
Her words struck right at the heart. Derwin’s throat went dry. He should have calmly denied it—but couldn’t. His lips twitched, ready to open, but no words came.
“It’s not that I dislike it… old memories just resurface, that’s all.”
To his surprise, the truth slipped out. Staring into those mint-green eyes, he couldn’t help but confess.
“I thought I’d let it all go, but if it still haunts me like this, I guess I’ve got a long way to go.”
Perhaps it was the liquor loosening his tongue, but once he began, the words flowed.
“If you don’t mind… could you tell me what happened? I’ll listen to everything.”
Her face held no mere curiosity or pity. Instead, it radiated boundless comfort and trust, as if she could accept and soothe whatever he revealed.
And so, Derwin began to speak of his past.
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