Chapter 36
. Why Should I Do It?
“Today was fun. I keep telling you, outings are only enjoyable if you’re with me.”
Shanelika spoke brightly. Having finished their outing, she and Derwin were now strolling once around the mansion’s garden, breathing in the warm night air.
They hadn’t gone into the art studio, but instead visited the Artists’ Street, looking at all kinds of works—portraits, landscapes, strange abstract paintings, and sculptures.
There had been so much to see that Shanelika’s head had practically been spinning, her mouth constantly full of little exclamations. Time flew by, and after enjoying a fine dinner nearby, they had just returned.
“From now on, I’ll let you know my weekend schedule in advance. So whenever you go out, please make sure you take me with you.”
It was closer to an order than a request. Derwin didn’t want another dangerous situation like earlier happening without his knowledge. With her unusual mindset, Shanelika was like a ticking time bomb—no telling when she might go off.
“Alright. I don’t get bored, and I can look at your face all I want, so that’s nice too.”
Even knowing she meant nothing by it, Derwin couldn’t help but find himself hoping at those small words.
“Do the rumors bother you at all?”
The question came out of nowhere.
“Hm? What rumors?”
“The ones about you, my lady.”
“Oh, that.”
Shanelika smiled a little sheepishly. He seemed to be referring to the gossip involving her and a few men.
“Well, they’re not true. It doesn’t really bother me.”
“Since you’ve said nothing about it, people’s imaginations are only growing wilder.”
“Pfft. Is that so? Still, I think explaining would just be funnier. They wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
She wasn’t wrong. Clarifying would only fuel more gossip; the rumors had reached a point where neither denying nor confirming would help. And Shanelika knew that perfectly well.
Derwin wanted to ask her outright if she truly felt nothing for those men. The way she smiled and chatted with them didn’t exactly scream no feelings. He knew full well what that smile could do to a man—after all, he, who had never cared about women, had lost his heart completely.
But he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
When I can’t even admit my own feelings, what right do I have?
“Do you still have lunch with Sir Stern?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And you still visit His Majesty the King every day?”
“That’s true.”
“…If you want to calm the rumors even a little, shouldn’t you cut back on that?”
The most Derwin could do was disguise his wishes as concern for her.
“Well… stopping now would be awkward. It just sort of happened… It’s fine. Things will sort themselves out with time. I’m not going to stay in the palace for long anyway.”
Her answer was a cold splash of water—reminding him she could disappear at any time. Derwin’s mouth went dry.
“Have you gotten closer to Her Highness the Princess?”
The question was so out of the blue it left him momentarily blank.
Seeing his hesitation, Shanelika added,
“I heard you’ve been spending more time guarding her.”
“Yes. Her Highness has been more active outside the palace lately.”
“Ah, so that’s why the Garion language lessons were reduced.”
The topic felt unpleasant to both of them.
Shanelika wondered if she should tell him to treat Lydia better—after all, as her friend, she knew how much Lydia had been struggling. But the thought wouldn’t even make it past her throat.
Why should I be the one to say that?
She didn’t want to. That was her honest feeling.
While she was thinking this, Derwin spoke.
“My lady, I have no reason to grow closer to the princess. I’m by her side purely for duty’s sake.”
“…I see.”
If Lydia had heard that, she might have been hurt. But for Shanelika, it was oddly reassuring—like she’d confirmed something without meaning to.
Feeling a little lighter, she changed the subject.
“So, when will the painter come to draw me?”
“I’ll find someone who can come as soon as possible.”
“Thank you.”
There was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Would you like to watch?”
“…Watch what?”
“The scene of me being painted, of course!”
“…”
The words hit him like a jab to the ribs. Derwin froze.
After a few seconds—
“I’ll pass.”
He finally managed to answer. At the same time, Shanelika noticed the change in his face.
“I’m just joking. Your ears are red, Your Grace!”
She laughed, and Derwin stared at her for a moment before speaking seriously.
“My lady… I’m no artist. If I saw you like that, I don’t know what I’d think.”
“Oh.”
Her laughter stopped for a moment at his sincere tone—then burst out again. The sight of him speaking seriously with ears as red as ripe apples was just too much.
And what exactly would you be thinking?
But if she said that, his whole face would probably turn scarlet. She decided to stop teasing him.
The weekend passed, and ordinary life resumed.
Or at least, Shanelika thought it did.
I feel like I’m forgetting something important…
Something hovered at the edge of her mind, but wouldn’t come. Even while translating, her thoughts wandered, and she eventually gave up.
By lunchtime, as always, Stern came to the Kaisel Knight Order’s office where she worked.
“Shanel!”
“Commander.”
She replied automatically, still not lifting her pen from the last line she was translating. Only after a moment did she look up.
“You don’t seem as happy to see me as before. Is that translation more important than me?”
He looked genuinely hurt.
“…We saw each other this morning.”
“Wow, Shanel. Don’t tell me you’re ditching me for His Majesty, like the rumors say?”
The remark left her momentarily speechless. For him to bring up the rumor himself…
“Ditching you?!”
“Because he’s more handsome than me?”
“That’s not it.”
“But you visit him every day.”
“That’s true, but I’m just a conversational companion.”
She had no idea why she was explaining herself to Stern, but he still looked downcast.
“We started having lunch together and ended up like this, remember?”
“‘Like this’ meaning what, exactly?”
“A good relationship where I’m the one pursuing you.”
Shanelika let out a short laugh.
“Commander, stop joking. How is this courting? You’re just teasing me.”
That was truly what she thought. If he really liked her, he’d be like Lydia—emotional over every little word. He wouldn’t toss out light comments and pretend to sulk.
“Ha… I’m serious. Shanel, don’t you think it’s too much? You don’t give me any attention.”
“I told you outright I’m not interested.”
The day Stern first revealed his feelings, she had cut him off immediately—because she hadn’t believed he was serious.
Since then, every time they met, he acted petulant and whiny. Today, he’d even brought up the rumors and the king, so he was being more dramatic than usual.
For a grown man, really…
“Shanel, they say if a tiger bites you, you can survive if you keep your wits about you. So be careful not to lose your heart to His Majesty while you’re chatting with him—for my sake.”
And this was supposed to be the fearsome commander?
She thought it was nonsense. In front of her, he was all childish playfulness—what on earth did his knights see in him?
As his pointless chatter dragged on, Shanelika rose from her seat.
“Let’s go eat. Where to today?”
“Alright. There’s a place near the North Gate that makes great pancakes.”
Just then, a tall blond man walked in through the open door.
“…?”
Feeling her gaze on his back, Stern turned to look. The instant he saw who it was, he straightened and bowed formally.
“Your Majesty.”
Gone was the playful commander from a moment ago; suddenly he was all seriousness. Shanelika was taken aback, but more than that, she wondered why someone like him—who’d have no reason to visit a lowly translator’s office—was here. His bright blue frock coat trimmed with white tassels was far too ornate for the setting.
“What brings you here, Your Majesty?”
After giving a small curtsy, she asked. Eleusis looked around the office as if it were his own space.
“I was curious to see what Miss Shanel’s office looked like.”
His gaze landed on Stern, still kneeling on one knee.
“Looks like someone got here first. You may rise, Sir Stern.”
The tone was cool. Stern obeyed, standing.
“Were you on your way out?”
Unlike the glance he’d given Stern, Eleusis spoke to Shanelika gently. She blinked at the change in tone before answering,
“Yes, we were just about to have lunch together.”
“I’d heard you and Sir Stern were like siblings, but you even share meals together, I see.”
The word siblings seemed oddly loud in her ears.
“Your Majesty, you can speak casually.”
Something felt off. She realized Eleusis was using honorifics with her, but not with Stern—even though Stern outranked her. When she’d thought he was just a temple administrator, she hadn’t noticed anything strange. But now, it was clear: this was the King of the realm before her. His speech, his gaze, and the visible structure of power—it was no wonder it felt strange to be on the receiving end of such politeness.
“It’s fine. In any case…”
Eleusis let his voice draw out lazily.
“I haven’t eaten yet either. I’m hungry.”
Silence fell between the three of them.
