Chapter 14
Later, I heard the police officers say it was a murder-suicide.
Murder-suicide? The word made my chest tighten.
Maybe my mother wanted to die, but Suhwan didn’t. He was a child who held onto me, and we leaned on each other as we bravely lived day by day.
That wasn’t suicide. It was murder.
“If you were going to die, you should have died alone!”
Or you should have made sure to take me with you.
Tears fell because I was angry at my mother. And tears fell because I felt sorry for my little brother, Suhwan.
Just like that, at only eight years old, I was left alone in this world.
Maybe because I went through something like that, from that day on, I became obsessed with living.
I felt desperate to live each day fully. From middle school, I worked part-time jobs stubbornly to save tuition money. In my spare time, I studied hard and entered a prestigious university.
And yet, at twenty years old, I died so meaninglessly.
What I felt after living my previous life was this:
“Life is truly pointless.”
Who would have thought I would die in a car accident in just one moment?
But even as I thought that, I couldn’t give up my attachment to life. I didn’t want to become someone like my mother.
That’s why even now, I struggle to survive under a tyrant.
When I got lost in my thoughts, time passed quickly. Gideon cried so much that the handkerchief I gave him became completely soaked before he finally calmed down.
Then, his ears slowly turned red.
After crying, he must have felt embarrassed.
“I believe I showed you an unsightly side of myself, my lady.”
“Everyone shows an embarrassing side to others while living. Just like I did to you earlier.”
I was talking about how I had fallen flat on the bench in my dress.
Gideon stared blankly for a moment, then burst into laughter.
‘If you laugh after crying, hair will grow on your butt.’
I had such a silly thought, but even with his swollen face, his smile looked fresh and bright.
Curly silver hair with a hint of blue. Even his eyelashes sparkled silver, and the tears still clinging to them made them shine even more.
And that eye-smile that looked like it could break many hearts. He was the perfect example of a puppy-type face.
Of course, I preferred cats.
“My lady, you seem quite unusual. Now that I think about it, I have not heard your answer yet. If it is not rude, may I ask your name?”
I flinched at the topic I wanted to avoid the most.
“Well then? What do you think my name is?”
I slowly stepped away from Gideon, preparing to run. He looked at me, confused.
“The correct answer is…”
I could see that his attention was completely on me.
“I was never a lady to begin with!”
Ignoring the pain in my feet, I jumped up and ran in the opposite direction from Gideon.
“My lady!”
I heard him call after me, but I already knew what would happen next.
He would ask my name, learn that I was a fortune-teller, and react with disgust. That was the usual pattern.
And if, by some chance, he reacted positively and a duke became interested in me?
That would be even worse.
I would be the center of attention wherever I went.
“I just want to live quietly!”
And so, I ran away from Gideon as fast as I could.
Meanwhile, Gideon laughed as he watched the young lady running farther away. She was so fast that he didn’t even dare to chase her.
Looking back at the place where she had been sitting, he noticed she had left her fan behind.
As Gideon looked at the fan and the handkerchief, he thought,
‘The fan is high quality, but the handkerchief is for imperial supply. Is she a high-ranking maid of the imperial palace?’
As he picked up both items, Gideon decided he should return to the imperial palace as soon as possible.
Inside the shaking carriage, I watched the sun slowly setting behind the trees.
‘That red sky looks like my future.’
I was completely exhausted. Since coming here, I had never felt this mentally and physically drained.
I went to the temple hoping to find information about Juna, but all I gained was physical exhaustion.
‘I don’t think I even ran this much during high school shuttle run tests.’
And this body clearly had no basic strength. After running for just a short time, my legs ached everywhere.
At this rate, I wasn’t even sure I could walk to my room.
“We have arrived.”
The carriage stopped with a jolt.
This time, Devon stepped down before me and held out his hand.
Seeing his large hand, I flinched without realizing it.
Inside, I still had the instincts of someone who had lived twenty years in the modern world, so being treated like a “young lady” felt extremely awkward.
But my legs were trembling, so I decided to let go of my embarrassment for a moment.
And now that I was dressed like this, I understood why the noble ladies here received escorts.
‘Every single step is so hard.’
The dress was tight, the heels were too high to balance easily, and I had no strength left in my legs.
Without Devon’s escort, I would have kissed the stone floor by now.
As I stepped down from the carriage with his help, I thought,
‘This was truly a matter of survival.’
The noble ladies I had seen at the temple today suddenly seemed impressive.
After I safely stepped down, Devon spoke politely again.
“I will escort you to your room.”
“What? No, it’s fine. You must be busy. Please go inside.”
“No. My duty today is to ensure your safety. I will escort you to your room.”
“No, really, it’s fine.”
“……”
Devon lowered his eyes and stood still, as if he hadn’t heard me.
Just as I was getting a headache from this tree-like man, I saw a soldier running toward us from afar.
“Captain! There is something urgent you must check.”
At the soldier’s words, my face brightened. I looked at Devon proudly.
“See? I’m fine, so please hurry and go!”
“……”
Devon stared at me for a moment, then gave a short bow and followed the soldier out of the main palace.
After confirming he was gone, I immediately took off my torture-machine-like shoes.
“Ah, I can live now.”
I felt the coachman flinch beside me, so I turned and smiled brightly at him.
“You worked hard today. Please head in safely.”
The coachman looked confused, but I didn’t care and walked barefoot into the main palace.
As soon as I entered, I heard footsteps approaching from the opposite corridor.
I quickly hid behind a pillar.
In a palace that valued etiquette, it would be troublesome if anyone saw me walking around without shoes.
The footsteps came closer. When long black shadows stretched beside me, the men passed into another corridor.
I let out a relieved breath—
“Why are you here?”
“Ahh—!”
Startled, I swung the high heels I was holding without thinking. The next moment, I saw the owner of the low voice and quickly covered my mouth.
“Y-Your Majesty?”
Perion was holding my sharp heel firmly in his hand. I felt his indifferent gaze slowly scan down my body.
Frozen under that gaze, I barely managed to breathe when his low voice sounded again.
“Who is it?”
“Pardon?”
At his sudden question, I foolishly asked back. Then Perion took the other high heel from my hand.
“I asked who failed to provide you with a proper pair of shoes.”
The back of my heel was stained red with blood. He had seen it.
“Well… if we must blame someone, then Your Majesty— I mean, it’s my fault! I foolishly chose the wrong shoes. Haha…”
His expression twisted slightly at my words. I lowered my eyes with an awkward smile.
A brief silence passed between us. I was the one who couldn’t endure it.
“Th-Then I will take my leave.”
“Stop.”
I froze at Perion’s firm voice just as I was about to sneak away.
I heard his steady footsteps approaching from behind. They stopped right behind me.
“W-What—?”
In an instant, I was lifted lightly into the air by Perion’s strong arm.
