Chapter 4
As if trying to hide the truth, the childcare nun stroked my head with an awkward smile.
She had been the one assigned to me ever since I first arrived here, but she didn’t seem to have any intention of telling me the truth. Nun Ella—the childcare nun who spoke only lies, as if it didn’t matter what became of me.
Look at her. Just look at her. She already knows, doesn’t she? What kind of person Marquis Colin is. How terrible he is, how unfit he is for adoption. And yet she still calls him a good person.
As I had expected, aside from the children raised here, even the nuns themselves didn’t see us as something to care for out of devotion. We were merely tools—potential sources of power or income.
So this place will eventually fall apart.
It was a temple that had taken me in and raised me, so I should have felt some attachment. But I didn’t. Just because they fed and housed us didn’t make them innocent. How could people who manipulated children’s minds, shaping them through subtle gaslighting into whatever they wanted, be considered good?
People who claimed to raise us in the name of the divine—out of love and compassion—yet treated us like commodities could never be good. Even the smiles and kindness they showed in front of us were nothing more than care taken to ensure their “goods” weren’t damaged before being sold.
“Is he really a good person?”
“Yes.”
“Did I… make the right choice?”
“You did. So don’t worry. You’ll definitely be happy there. And if any problems arise, you can always return to the temple.”
“Yes!”
Of course. I already knew that if anything went wrong, they would take me back.
That’s exactly why they’re sending me to Marquis Colin.
They would respect my wishes—but only on the surface.
“I feel relieved! Still, I think I’ll be fine. He seemed like a very good person when I met him earlier! Unlike those three nobles who looked down on me just because I’m a young nun! Only the duke and the marquis didn’t ignore me!”
“Did they ignore you?”
“Oh! I wasn’t supposed to say that…”
I lowered my head with a dejected expression, quickly covering my mouth as if I had said something I shouldn’t have.
“What do you mean? Rubie. Tell me everything. What did the nobles say to you?”
“It’s nothing. It wasn’t really what they said… it was more like what they did to the temple… ah—oops… I said too much… I wasn’t supposed to…”
“It’s alright. You know I like honest children.”
“But…”
“It’s fine.”
“Then… you absolutely, definitely can’t tell anyone I said anything, okay?”
Looking up anxiously, I met the childcare nun’s reassuring nod. Pretending to be deeply worried, I leaned in close and whispered everything that had happened without leaving out a single detail.
“Rubie. It seems you’ll have to return to your room alone. I need to speak with those nobles again.”
“You’re not going to tell them everything I said, are you?!”
“No, no. I promised I wouldn’t say that you told me anything. Don’t worry and go back.”
With my lips still pouting slightly, she looked at me with an unusually gentle expression.
“Alright? Rubie is a very obedient child, isn’t she? You’ll listen well and go back, right?”
“…Okay. I’ll go. I trust you, nun.”
In the end, she left me standing in the hallway as she walked away.
It looks like the adoption decision has already been finalized. So there’s no problem with the adoption itself.
I had already expected this. It wasn’t unusual for a child sent under the temple’s name to be taken back. That was why adoptive families usually treated newly adopted children well at first—the temple preferred it that way, as it reduced their burden.
In fact, granting a child’s wish was useful internally, giving hope to the other children, and externally, it demonstrated the temple’s “benevolence.” So from their perspective, the decision must have been easy.
“Take care~!”
Even as she walked away, the childcare nun turned back to look at me with concern, and I waved at her.
She’ll definitely report what I said. About me insulting the temple.
“Well then. Shall I head back too?”
It was the classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. The temple believed itself to be righteous, so it would not forgive the nobles’ behavior. Even if she promised not to reveal that I had spoken, she would eventually need to use my words to justify their retaliation. And in the end, she would likely sell me out.
It was easy to imagine what would happen next. Strangely enough, that made me feel lighter.
This should make the nobles wary of the temple for a while. That’s enough.
If that happened, everything I needed to do going forward would become much easier.
With lighter steps than before, I turned to head back to my room.
But the path back was not so easy.
“Rubie.”
Someone stood blocking my way.
A child with golden hair so radiant it seemed almost noble stood there with a displeased expression. Their pale face and firm build were strikingly mature for their age. He was one year older than me, and he silently stared down at me for a long moment.
Because I was smaller than most children, even being only a year younger made me tilt my head upward to look at him. There were stories that children with strong power often grew more slowly, but my body was so small I looked like a five- or six-year-old—almost like a toddler.
In contrast, the boy in front of me was large. Strong, yet still growing.
“Rubie.”
“Hmm? Did you call me?”
Even when he was angry, he was still handsome. I briefly admired him before nodding.
“I heard. You’re being adopted.”
“That’s right. I’m going to be adopted.”
“…Do you really have to go? Our parents abandoned us, and adoptive parents are no different. They won’t love you either. So why go? You can just stay here.”
The boy’s dissatisfaction poured out toward me.
He was a child who, like me, had lived a pitiful life—one of the next candidates for high priest. Born with immense power, yet destined to suffer the worst fate that awaited those without anyone to protect them. That was Rubleo, the handsome boy standing before me.
“You don’t want me to be adopted?”
“Yes. If you need family love, I can give it to you. So don’t go.”
His eyes pleaded with me so earnestly that just looking at them filled me with a strange sense of guilt. Still, I steadied my heart.
“Rubleo. This orphanage—the temple’s orphanage—uses us. They train us to obey, manipulate our minds so we can’t refuse what they want, and treat us like objects.”
“…I know.”
“That’s why I don’t want to stay here. Not because I want love, but because I don’t want to stay beside hypocrites pretending to be kind.”
Even so, Rubleo’s expression remained firm.
Rubleo was special. Among the children chosen by the gods, he was the most exceptional—brought here immediately after birth. That made him a priority target of the temple’s management. They never considered that this would isolate him from the other children.
An orphanage full of abandoned children who had never been loved. And among them was Rubleo, whom everyone called “special.” The other children constantly said things like, You’re special anyway. Why would you hang out with us? And so, while he was singled out for attention, he was also hated by everyone.
To the children, his strength and uniqueness didn’t matter. What mattered was that he seemed more loved than they were.
And I was his only friend.
I hadn’t planned on becoming close to anyone. After regaining memories of my future one day, I had been too busy taking care of myself. So I chose solitude over companionship.
But every time I tried to be alone, Rubleo would already be there first.
At the very top of an abandoned tower no one visited. Or beside the muddy lake inside the temple grounds.
What are you doing here? I was here first. Leave.
I just wanted to be alone. And after remembering my future, I had been especially sharp-tempered when I first met him.
But…
You’re really something else.
“What?”
“You’re doing this because you don’t want to leave me alone, right? Who told you to do this? Was it the nun?”
“What are you talking about? No one told me anything. I just want to be alone, so go somewhere else. This is the best place for it—lots of sunlight, perfect spot.”
That’s what I said. I even argued stubbornly, but Rubleo completely misunderstood.
“…Are you saying that for my sake? Because you don’t want to leave me alone?”
