Chapter 40
Looking for You
Why aren’t the knights stopping her today?
Even as such rational thoughts floated in his mind, Kaishis could only clutch his burning, almost-exploding cheek, staring blankly at his mother, who glared at him as if she would kill him.
“Waaah! Stop! Don’t hit big brother!”
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Something was wrong.
But his mother’s strong grip yanked his shoulder and shook him violently. As if to say, Don’t think about anything. This is your reality. This is your nightmare.
In the face of that bitter realization, Kaishis gradually let go of thought. He just let himself be shaken.
“…I was wrong, Mother.”
“Don’t call me that!”
But you gave birth to me.
Is it really necessary to look at me like I’m something vile?
What was so special about being a magician that she could treat other humans—awakened ones like him—as if they were disgusting insects?
He swallowed the scream building in his throat. If he lost control here, it would only shock Louisas even more.
Then, strangely, the scene changed again.
Just moments ago, he had been slapped in front of the garden. Now he was in a banquet hall.
He knew how unnatural this abrupt shift was, but he couldn’t process it.
Because once again, he heard his mother’s scornful, derisive laugh.
“I heard you couldn’t even control your power properly and injured the attendants? This is why I hate your kind. Magic is the one true force. The only worthy truth. Don’t you agree?”
No, Mother. I don’t.
But she didn’t care to hear her son’s thoughts. Her blue eyes, so like his own, gleamed coldly as she declared,
“The filth of this world is your kind. Can you imagine how clean the world would be without awakeners and guides?”
If that world came true, then her firstborn son would cease to exist.
But… would that really be a better world?
Frozen like a statue, he had to endure the brutal words pouring from his cruel mother’s mouth.
He had no choice but to bear it while she tore open the scars of his memories, one by one, and paraded them for all to see.
The setting kept shifting through the palace.
Like getting slapped repeatedly by strangers, Kaishis’ previously unshaken mind was battered again and again.
Crack. Crrrack.
He thought he could hear the sound of invisible fractures forming.
As if telling him to break down the solid wall inside and unleash the power within.
To release everything and find peace.
No.
Kaishis didn’t even know what “it” was—but he grit his teeth and resisted.
The excruciating pain spread through his whole body.
It wasn’t just his mother’s words, nor the contempt from the magicians surrounding her.
His fingertips, his toes—they all ached as if splitting apart.
“It hurts… it hurts so much…”
Someone, please save me.
Please make it stop.
The mind he didn’t even realize was fragile cried like a child, wailing and curling in on itself, shouting for it all to end.
But the world was merciless.
It never knew when to stop.
“My son.”
His mother’s voice called out.
Something—unknown, yet cloaked in the image of his nightmare—whispered gently.
“You’re a monster.”
And that… was something he already knew all too well.
Meanwhile
“It’s confirmed. A mental-attack type Gate.”
There were no significant monsters aside from some minor mobs. That meant the true boss—the core—was a monster that hid silently, shook the mind of its prey, lulled them into a dream, and finally consumed them. A mental-type monster.
After finishing my assessment, I bolted from the rocky terrain.
A wide plain stretched before me, filled with huge flowers. I remembered learning about a Gate like this.
Among the blooms, I had to find the largest one—a red flower marked with black speckles.
That one was the true body. And inside…
‘That’s where the Emperor must be!’
He was the strongest Esper alive. To a mental-type monster, Espers were even more delicious than guides.
I sprinted with all I had.
And finally, just before collapsing from exhaustion—I found it.
“The King Flower!”
The red bloom had extended its vine-like tendrils and gripped something tightly.
“That’s…”
It looked like a massive sculpture of blue ice.
“Kaishis?”
I ran closer and realized there was someone trapped within the giant ice crystal.
More accurately, it was an aura of freezing cold so intense, even approaching it felt like it would freeze me solid.
Kaishis’ protective barrier—self-imposed, almost like self-harm. A desperate defense.
‘Your mental fortitude really is annoyingly unshakable.’
Any other Esper would’ve been devoured already by that flower.
I let out a breath of relief and fought back a laugh, inching closer.
The flower’s tendrils, unable to remain in contact with the ice for long, recoiled, then greedily tried again, over and over.
But the problem was that I was in the same position as that flower.
“…What do I do?”
Blue veins now visible on Kaishis’ pale face told me his condition was worsening.
To guide him, I had to touch him—but there was no way to reach through that ice.
‘How do I break it?’
His eyelids didn’t even twitch.
I clenched my teeth. Still—something had to be done.
“If he stays like this, he’ll lose control.”
I didn’t even remember that I looked like Duke Ariel, or what would happen if the Emperor saw me like this.
I looked around and spotted a rock big enough to swing with both hands.
At least I could try using that.
I ran, grabbed it, and swung it at the ice crystal.
Kaang!
Of course, it didn’t work.
Again—Kaang!
My fingertips stung with pain.
Even I could tell I looked crazy now, frantically bashing the rock against the ice.
Clang! Kaang! Clang!
Eventually, my fingers split and bled, but I kept pounding away.
No miracle came.
“Wake up. Wake up, damn it!”
I dropped the rock and began slamming my bloody hands against the ice.
“Wake up, you bastard!”
Do you know how much it took for me to come in here?
What kind of Esper blocks their own partner with their powers?
“You said I was your match, didn’t you?! Espers are supposed to open their eyes when they sense their match, that’s how it always works in our world!”
Sure, this is a different world, but even here the laws of cliché should apply, damn it!
“Kaishis!!”
But maybe… maybe it was because I wasn’t the real heroine of this world.
Reality was cruel.
Instead of Kaishis opening his eyes like some miracle, the King Flower—frustrated with the ice—turned its attention to me.
Rustle. Slither.
Its tentacle gave up on Kaishis and began slithering toward me.
“Hey. Hey! Why are you coming to me?! I’m a guide—I don’t even taste good! I’m gross!”
Yuck, ptooey, blegh!
But clearly, it had sensed the fear rising from me.
It had read my weakening mental state.
The tentacle drew near, twitching, and released a burst of spores.
A foul stench invaded my nose.
Ah—my knees buckled. No.
If I lost consciousness now, I’d be devoured.
I came here to save him, and now I was going to become flower food?
But my eyelids grew heavy.
Darkness suddenly swallowed everything.
There were no loud alarms from my status window—just blackness, and I plunged into unconsciousness.
From the void, light flickered.
And I…
…I was suddenly a guide in Korea again.
At that moment—
“…What was I just doing?”
I opened my eyes in a world where even my name had been forgotten.
“Hey! You piece of trash!”
I raised my head to the sound of those unpleasant voices.
Espers who had surrounded me spat at the ground.
One of them, the worst of the lot, sneered at me and said,
“Your nasty guiding always ruins the mood. But whatever, spit it out. I need a hit.”
Spit what, you scumbag?
I wanted to scream. But this wasn’t some novel I liked to read—this was my harsh reality.
Grinding my teeth, I had no choice but to guide.
My hand was seized roughly.
And the power was stolen from me.
“Ugh! Damn it! Every time it’s disgusting as hell! Shit!”
If anyone deserved to swear, it was me.
As I looked into that filthy Esper’s eyes, I thought—
No.
This isn’t right.
I…
I knew the feeling of being wanted by the right Esper.
Not this fraud of a bond—but the real thing.
