IBTLW Chapter 01

Chapter 01

“I’ll get you ready, Your Majesty.”

The head maid, Lauren, helped me stand up as if she were used to it. Well, according to my memories, Leah (the original owner of this body) used to visit the harem every day for lunch with a bunch of handsome men.

‘Yeah, I’m going there today—to shut that whole thing down.’

Just the amount of jewels and pocket money Leah had given those men was enough to shake the empire’s treasury.

‘Ugh. She even used to hold beauty contests and put diamond rings on the toes of the most handsome man!’

Oh, Leah, Leah. What were you even thinking?

I couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh at the ridiculous memories floating up.

Luckily, it had only been two months since the Empress created her harem, so the situation hadn’t exploded into public scandal yet. But if it kept going, complaints from nobles and the public were sure to come soon.

‘No wonder her relationship with the Emperor was bad. Honestly, it’s surprising he let this nonsense slide for this long.’

I tried to recall how the Emperor had reacted to Leah’s harem.
But strangely enough, no memory came up. Maybe because their marriage was political—there weren’t even many memories of them together.

‘Ah… so maybe that’s why they weren’t close. Because of the harem?’

‘Hmm, that’s tricky. I need to save the Emperor’s life later, but that means I have to be close to him first.’

If a wife he barely talks to suddenly shows up begging him not to kill himself, he’ll just think she’s crazy.

Still, they’d only been married three months, and the harem had only existed for two—that meant there was still time.

‘Good. I’ll get rid of the harem, fix my image, get close to the Emperor, and stop his suicide!’

While I was busy making my grand plan, the waiting royal guard approached.

“I’ll escort you to the harem, Your Majesty.”

“Alright.”

I smiled smugly, proud of my perfect plan, and followed him.

Then Lauren suddenly whispered nervously, “Your Majesty… shall we prepare the dark beer?”

“…Huh? Didn’t I say I’m quitting drinking?”

What kind of random question was that?

When I looked at her, confused, she leaned in and whispered so the guard wouldn’t hear.

“Yesterday, you said that if you smirked, you’d play a drinking game with dark beer, and if you smiled brightly, you’d play with wine. The winner would earn… the right to spend the first night with you.”

Cough! Cough!

Oh no. Emperor, hang in there. I swear I’ll fix this depraved soul as soon as possible.

A short while later…

“Your Majesty! You’re here!”

“I missed you so much since yesterday! I cried so hard my eyes got swollen!”

The Empress’s separate palace, newly built for the harem, sparkled with extravagance. As soon as I entered, a dozen men rushed toward me.

There was the tanned, six-pack muscle man.
The bodybuilder type with arms like tree trunks.
The pale, innocent-looking “pretty boy” with tearful eyes.
The seductive red-haired man with his shirt halfway open.

Leah’s taste was… diverse, to say the least.

‘There’s literally everything here. Except dignity.’

Just looking at them made me feel like I was collecting national resentment points.

I led the crowd of men into the biggest room.

“Your Majesty, please sit next to me! I laid down a soft cushion for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. The Empress sits beside me!”

“Hah! Yesterday, Her Majesty said she’d drink with me today!”

…What a disaster.

‘This is chaos. Pure chaos.’

I wasn’t normally someone who swore, but these tax-wasting pretty boys were testing my patience.

‘Ugh, I really need to fix my language too if I want to change my image.’

Trying to keep calm, I called out softly, “Hey.”

But they ignored me and kept bragging.

“You never even held her hand!”
“I’ve interlocked fingers with Her Majesty!”
“Ha! I did a love shot with her!”
“Pathetic. I drank from the same glass—that’s a kiss by proxy! Meaning, the next step is a deep kiss—”

“HEY!!”

My shout made them freeze instantly.

I glared at the muscle man whose butt looked like it could crush a chair.

How dare he talk about my purity like that! Sure, Leah had made a harem, but she wasn’t that far gone yet!

The room fell silent. Sitting in the middle on the grand sofa, I swept my gaze across the line of trembling men.

Then, with the most graceful smile I could manage, I said,

“Pack your things.”

The words echoed through the air.

“…You’re all fired.”

They blinked, as if I were joking. Then some started whining.

“Your Majesty, you must be joking!”
“How could you say such cruel things? We can’t live without you!”

You mean without my money, not me.

These money leeches!

I sighed and pointed at the door with my finger.

“Starting now, one by one—get out.”

I blinked slowly, repeating myself.

This time, their expressions turned to shock.

“Her Majesty has gone mad!” was practically written on their faces.

“Your Majesty! Please don’t do this!”
“Don’t abandon me!”

And then they started crying and clinging to me.

I jumped up onto the sofa in panic.

“W-What are you doing?! Let go of me!”

The men clung to my skirt, sobbing like their lives depended on it.

Lauren and the guard looked completely lost—unsure whether this was another one of the Empress’s tantrums or a genuine command.

“Help me! Kick them all out!”

Almost got my clothes ripped!

As I shouted, the guard blew a whistle. Knights burst into the room, swords drawn.

Shing!

“Step back!”

But of course, the handsome freeloaders didn’t budge.

“You can’t throw me away after our indirect kiss last night!”

Oh, for heaven’s sake.

They wouldn’t stop crying and wailing, so I finally decided to use my “nitpick strategy.”

“You—your butt is too big. Out.”
“But yesterday you said it was gorgeous!”

Dragged out.

“You—why are you showing your chest? Indecent exposure.”
“But you said real men should show skin!”

Out he went too.

One by one, I found excuses to kick out about twenty of them.

The more I cleaned, the brighter the harem looked—like my future!

‘Still… there are so many left. This could take a week!’

Annoyed, I started walking around pointing randomly.

“Your muscles are gross.”
“But you said doing laundry on them was your dream!”

“Your hair color annoys me.”
“But we dyed it together, Your Majesty!”

By the time thirty minutes passed, all that was left were the sounds of sobbing men being dragged away and tired knights groaning.

“Finally, the last one!”

I kicked out an artistic pretty boy who only drank coffee and smoked, saying his breath stank.

Feeling proud, I turned to smile at the next (and last) man being brought in.

“Um… Your Majesty, are you upset about something?” whispered Lauren, watching the chaos unfold.

“Huh? No, I’m in a great mood!”

I blinked innocently.

But Lauren seemed uneasy, convinced there was no way the debauched Empress had suddenly come to her senses.

“I understand you’re displeased about tonight, but this isn’t the way, Your Majesty.”

“Tonight?”

I tilted my head.

“The ministers said some harsh things about your harem, right? But rest assured, the palace budget won’t be reduced. Please, calm down and rest until evening.”

“Oh, really?”

Nice! So my allowance was safe! I beamed happily.

But Lauren and the guard both went pale at my smile, misunderstanding it completely.

“Why do you two look like that?”

Before I could ask what was happening that night, another man was brought before me.

Ah, I’ll deal with this one first.

He was a baby-faced beauty—so innocent and pure-looking he seemed like a lost puppy.

‘He looks like I’d be committing a crime just by looking at him!’

My conscience couldn’t take it.

“Hey, how old are you?”

“I-I’m twenty, Your Majesty.”

He looked even younger than that.

“Your Majesty, are you alright?” asked Lauren anxiously.

I frowned slightly, remembering one of Leah’s past tantrums—how she’d eaten the same dish for a week, then suddenly flipped the entire table and fired five chefs in one day.

Lauren must be terrified I was about to do something similar.

I sighed deeply and said, “Send him out too.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

The guard quickly pushed the poor puppy-faced man out of the room.

Thank goodness. I almost betrayed my morals there.

Folding my arms, I sighed again.

Something told me Leah’s past was full of even more ridiculous messes like this.

‘Can I really fix all this and save enough money to live freely in two years?’

I turned to Lauren, annoyed.

“Why didn’t you stop me before? Didn’t you see his face? You should’ve known this was wrong!”

“I-I’m sorry, Your Majesty! I’ll accept any punishment!”

“Huh? Punishment? No, I wasn’t—”