CHAPTER 36…………………………………………….

The scene was so familiar that it actually put my mind at ease.

Do you have any idea how much hazing goes on in a temple?

They say the probationary period is ten years, but that’s only an average.

There are plenty who train for decades and still never become full-fledged priests.

People like that hate newcomers. They see them as competition.

They especially hate nobles like me.

There are quite a few people like Leia who try to use connections, and on top of that, the arrogance typical of nobles seems to rub them the wrong way.

Unlike them—who have no way to make a living except by becoming priests—children of noble families won’t starve even if they fail to advance.

We’re bound to become objects of jealousy.

If this were the Empire, they wouldn’t dare say a word to me—but in the Holy Kingdom, it’s different when we’re all just probationers.

Here, priests rank themselves by the positions assigned by the Holy Kingdom.

“Do you dare walk around with your head held high in front of your seniors? Hey, rookie. Eyes down.”

“You’re getting way too full of yourself for a newbie.”

They didn’t just enforce discipline. They put bugs in my shoes, splashed water on me while I was walking, and once even shoved me into a pond.

They often deliberately removed the chair where I was supposed to sit, isolating me on purpose.

At first, I didn’t know what to do and sometimes hid in a corner, crying my eyes out.

I overcame all of that.

Once I adjusted to temple life, I even got my revenge and lived just fine.

With a gentle smile, I gathered the hem of my skirt and bowed according to imperial etiquette.

I might be wearing priestly robes, but this was the Empire.

And they had addressed me as “Lady Theodore,” so I would respond as someone in the weaker position.

“I greet the Empire’s little moon.”

Sertina’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

She seemed more flustered by my calm composure than I was.

I had too much experience to panic just because there was no seat for me.

The maids who were already seated pointed at me.

“Lady Theodore, your greeting was far too late.”

“That’s right. Didn’t you see Her Highness the Princess back in the rose garden? Why are you only greeting her now?”

They were the maids attending Sertina, clinging to her arm.

You were the ones who didn’t want to walk beside me and made me follow far behind.

Before that, I had been speaking with Cassius—how could I possibly have interrupted? But if I complained, they’d only accuse me of talking back.

After years of being pushed around by senior bullies, I was used to avoiding traps like these.

“I was away from the Empire for so long that I momentarily forgot the proper etiquette. If I caused offense, I apologize.”

As a healing priest from the Holy Kingdom invited to celebrate the discovery of a sacred sanctuary of healing—

The princess would already know that I was an imperial citizen who had lived in the Holy Kingdom for a long time.

If they kept pressing me after I openly admitted fault, they would look unreasonable.

Sure enough, the maids bit their lips, unable to continue.

“Very well. I forgive you.”

Sertina, who had been quietly observing the situation, finally spoke.

“However, Lady Theodore, there is another thing you must apologize for.”

What did I do this time?

That was exactly why I had followed her all the way here.

Please, just explain my crime already!

I was fully prepared to apologize—without forgetting my position as the weaker party.

Since Sertina hadn’t given me permission to speak yet, I remained silent.

“Today, in the rose garden, you monopolized my second brother’s time.”

I took Schwarz’s time?

I didn’t have the audacity—or the ability—to do that.

“I grant you leave to speak. Tell me—why did you approach my second brother?”

It was Schwarz who approached me.

Lying and getting caught would only make things worse for me.

Since my opponent was a princess, honesty seemed best.

“I never dared to think of taking the Grand Duke of Lündmir’s time. He sought me out himself, saying he needed prayer.”

“Prayer? Wasn’t it the Holy Kingdom that said he couldn’t even receive baptism because he’s a bastard?”

That was true. I thought it was unreasonable as well.

If they’d just baptize him like everyone else, there wouldn’t be all these needless conflicts.

If I were qualified, I’d even like to baptize Schwarz myself.

“I may have the blood of an imperial noble, but I am also a priest of the Holy Kingdom. Anyone who needs the Lord’s help may pray.”

Sertina’s lips hardened.

“Is that so? Then I happen to need prayer as well. You can pray for me, Lady Theodore.”

“If you wish, please call for me.”

“Pray to your god right now and fix my legs.”

I couldn’t bring my hands together.

Praying was easy—but what Sertina wanted wasn’t prayer. It was a miracle.

“Why aren’t you praying?”

“……The Lord is merciful, but He does not grant every prayer.”

“My legs were fine before. They were injured suddenly. Isn’t that the will of the god? Then He should fix them.”

“I’m sorry. I cannot presume to interpret the Lord’s will.”

“What kind of priest can’t even do that?! Your god gives me a trial, and you say you don’t know anything?!”

“……I’m sorry.”

Sertina’s eyes twitched, her voice rising.

The anger boiling inside her seemed to intensify.

It seemed that prayer itself was Sertina’s sore spot.

“What sin did I commit to deserve this kind of trial?! Answer me—what does your god say?!”

There was a phrase priests habitually used when comforting those whose prayers went unanswered:

This is a trial. Endure it, and one day a miracle will descend.

I couldn’t bring myself to say that to Sertina.

She had probably heard it from countless priests already.

Sertina ground her teeth.

“Then let me ask differently. Does your god listen to your prayers?”

Not at all.

If the god Magnus had listened to mine, I wouldn’t be afraid of the obsessive male lead from the original story.

When I pressed my lips shut, Sertina shouted,

“Do you know why the prayers in the Sanctuary of Healing are written in ancient sacred language? Answer me!”

“I can’t fathom the Lord’s will either.”

“One last question. If you came all the way to the Empire, then you must have a way to achieve final awakening, don’t you?”

“No.”

“…You haven’t even achieved final awakening, and yet you came to the Empire? Just to put on a dress and flirt?”

“…….”

Because I hadn’t undergone final awakening, I seemed to be nothing but a thorn in Sertina’s side.

I couldn’t give a satisfying answer to any of her questions, and Sertina finally shouted as if vomiting up resentment she had buried deep inside.

“I was only seven years old. What kind of sin could possibly justify crippling a child’s legs? And what do I gain by enduring this so-called trial?!”

I couldn’t answer her.

If I recited doctrine learned during my priestly training, it would only fuel her anger.

“Are you ignoring me again?”

When I didn’t speak, the princess’s fists trembled violently.

She tried to stand up on her own, using her cane.

But Sertina couldn’t even stand by herself.

“Your Highness!”

Only after the maids at her side supported her could she properly rise.

Shaking off the right maid’s arm, Sertina swung her hand hard.

Smack! My cheek burned.

It didn’t hurt as much as I’d expected.

Perhaps because her legs were weak, her grip wasn’t strong either.

“How much more desperately do I have to pray?!”

Sertina screamed like someone facing death and struck my cheek again.

She unleashed a torrent of words.

Listening to her pent-up anguish, I finally understood why she hated me.

She hates me because I’m a healing priest.

Sertina must have offered more prayers to the god than I could ever imagine.

Yet the god never showed her a miracle.

“I prayed until I collapsed without even drinking water. Will the god only recognize my desperation if I die praying?”

“…….”

“The year I lost my legs, my mother died. Omega fever. They said it was my fault. I whipped my own back every morning, begging to be forgiven!”

“…….”

“I woke up earlier than the priests to pray. I stayed alone in the prayer hall until everyone else was asleep!”

“…….”

“I gave gold whenever they asked. I emptied my private treasury because the temple needed it. I even handed over my mother’s precious jewelry! What more do you want me to give?!”

The priests who aided her prayers must have said things like this:

Your sincerity wasn’t desperate enough.

You must have committed a grave sin. The Lord has given you this trial to cleanse it.

You can overcome the trial through prayer.

Show greater devotion.

How hateful those priests must have been—preaching that a god who refused to heal her legs was still righteous.

I couldn’t offer her a single rebuttal and was pushed out of the princess’s palace by the maids.

When I came to my senses, I was standing in front of the palace.

Shhhhh—

Suddenly, rain poured down, soaking me to the bone in an instant.

The weight of my drenched hair and clothes dragged me back to reality.

…That startled me.