chapter 17
However, the young hero’s request to be treated comfortably had a powerful effect. My parents’ expressions immediately softened. My father cleared his throat a few times before speaking.
“Hm-hm, you do have a point.”
“I never expected we would gain such a fine son-in-law. When should we hold the wedding? You two would prefer it as soon as possible, right?”
I hadn’t expected them to give their permission so easily. So their earlier hesitation about not being ready to send me away—was that just an excuse to avoid the situation?
But that question was answered right after dinner ended.
“Then I will come to the inn tomorrow at the agreed time.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
After Baek Mu-wol returned to the inn, I went outside to get some fresh air. But someone was already in the garden.
“……Did we allow it too easily? I originally wanted to keep her with us a little longer. I feel a bit sad.”
As soon as those words ended, something surged up in my chest. I instinctively covered my mouth.
So that’s why their expressions looked troubled earlier? They were just sad?
“If you’re going to regret it now, what’s the point? If you were going to oppose it, you should have done so then.”
I quickly hid behind a tree and watched them carefully. Thankfully, they didn’t notice me and continued talking quietly.
“But this is the first time Sojin has ever said she likes someone other than us. With those clear eyes, she said she would be happy if she married that man. How could I oppose that?”
“That’s true. I couldn’t bring myself to oppose it either.”
Once again, I had dared to doubt their love. Guilt filled my whole body.
“And the other party is none other than Baek Mu-wol. I was worried she might bring home some useless man, but she chose someone of good character and clear background. What a relief.”
“Yes. If it’s him, we can trust him with Sojin. The Namgung family worries me slightly though…”
“They wouldn’t dare trouble us because of their reputation. If they caused problems over this, it would look like the great Namgung family was ganging up against one man.”
“Then we can prepare for the wedding with peace of mind.”
As they continued talking, they slowly walked farther away.
I almost called out to them, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to face them right now. I covered my face with both hands.
It was always like this. I would overthink one small word or action, doubt my family, then feel their love and blame myself.
It’s because I’m such a worthless person, isn’t it?
Deep down, I believed I wasn’t worthy of being loved. That’s why I constantly doubted their love, rejected it, and felt burdened by it.
Is it because of memories from my past life?
Back then, I was only treated like a person if I was useful…
No, don’t make excuses. The real reason is that I’m not especially good at anything.
If I had been a daughter who was helpful to the family like my older brother Jinha, I wouldn’t have these worries at all.
But I’m not that useless anymore, am I?
My vision began to spin. I couldn’t breathe properly, so I crouched down and hugged my knees.
I’m going to marry someone as perfect as Baek Mu-wol.
In business, connections are important. Having a famous martial artist like him as a son-in-law would bring interest and goodwill toward my parents.
What I had wanted was finally coming true.
But I hadn’t changed at all. I was still me.
I set the wrong goal from the beginning.
It took me this long to realize something so obvious: my husband and I are separate people. Just because I marry a proud and admirable man doesn’t mean I automatically become a proud and admirable daughter.
Why am I so foolish?
I lowered my head weakly. But the saddest part was that I couldn’t stop thinking.
What goal must I achieve to truly become a daughter my parents can be proud of? What do I need to accomplish so that…
Then the words slipped out of my mouth.
“So that I can be loved without feeling uneasy?”
Without a doubt, this life was dozens—no, hundreds—of times better than my previous one. But at least back then, I didn’t feel anxious like someone drowning in debt.
—You cleaned the balcony and did the dishes? Our second daughter is so kind.
Before I was reincarnated, I was the most useful child in the house. If I did chores and listened to my family’s complaints, I could easily be the daughter they were proud of.
—Everyone was jealous when I talked about you at the gathering. Their children don’t even lift a finger. We’re so lucky to have you.
At that point in my memories, I buried my face in my knees.
I’m afraid of love without a reason.
Love with a reason doesn’t disappear as long as that reason remains. But love without a reason is different.
It’s unstable. It could disappear at any time.
So before that happens, I should give them a reason to love me.
That would be killing two birds with one stone. They would gain a daughter to be proud of, and I wouldn’t feel anxious.
But how?
The only thing I have over my brother Jinha is that I’m physically strong. Some elders who visited our house once said I was naturally well-built and would be suited to learning martial arts. I was tempted and wanted to start immediately, but—
—Why are you so desperate to learn martial arts? Please give up.
My parents opposed it, and I gave up.
But maybe that’s the only way.
In business, studies, even playing instruments, my brother is far better than me. If he tried, he would probably even sew better than I can.
Learning martial arts really might be the only option.
But I’m already over twenty. Isn’t it too late to start? There’s a reason parents send their children to martial sects at a young age.
Even if I try my best now, I’ll never become famous. At most, I’ll reach an average level.
But wouldn’t it still be reassuring to have someone in the family who knows martial arts? My parents could proudly say, “Our daughter married a rising master and even learned martial arts herself.”
My best friend in my previous life once said that to parents, children are like medals that show how they’ve lived. A child you can’t brag about is as good as having no child.
So I can’t stop trying.
I’ll learn as much as possible and become a better person than I am now.
Filled with determination, I went back inside and saw my mother’s back. I immediately walked over to her.
She took me along as she carefully inspected every corner of the tidy house. Confused by her sudden actions, I asked,
“Mother, why are you doing this? Did you lose something?”
“…No.”
She answered with slight anxiety.
“I suddenly thought our house might look shabby compared to your fiancé’s. If I had known this would happen, I would have at least replaced the furniture with better ones.”
“Oh, it’s fine.”
“But still…”
“Mother, you really don’t need to worry. He seems to have simple tastes.”
“Oh? Really?”
“Yes.”
Just looking at how he stayed at my brother’s inn in Anhui and chose me as his marriage partner, the answer was obvious.
Maybe it’s because he’s not from a powerful noble family.
Either way, it was good for us.
Once again, I felt grateful that he had chosen me. I escorted my mother back to her room.
“You should sleep too, miss.”
“I will.”
After telling Ye-han good night, I lay down on my bed. I should sleep early if I’m going to meet him tomorrow.
And just then—
—Please marry me.
I suddenly remembered the moment he proposed.
I quietly pulled the blanket over my face. I was alone in the room, but I still felt embarrassed.
