CHAPTER 70………………………………………..

At that one sentence, I turned my head. Ban’s figure walking in came into view. Even from afar, even mixed in with others, he caught my eye immediately.

“I hope the world you dream of is one more equal, where more people can smile.”

Roman quietly spoke his wish to me and then left. I stared blankly at his retreating shoulders.

Roman, now past fifty, was a man of steel, having grown up in the knight order and survived countless battlefields.

Born into the prestigious Berhardt family, he was a ruler and a figure of power in the present age. Broad, firm shoulders, a solid back—he was a towering figure who had supported this country for decades.

And yet, the world he wished for was equality and hope.

My heart felt heavy. I wasn’t as accomplished or as grand a figure as he recognized me to be. I was just an ordinary citizen, living day by day.

I bit my lip.

“Rudia?”

I turned at the voice calling my name. Ban came into view after handing his belongings to his aide. A man who drew the attention of everyone and inspired hope in them.

“Are you feeling unwell?”

What kind of world would it be, built with a man like that?

I shook my head and smiled gently. His eyes were tinged with concern.

“Would you like to sit?”

Ban offered me a chair, kneeling on one knee before me, looking directly into my eyes. His fingertips brushed back my hair, as if indifferent to the aides’ restless movements—warm to the touch. This wasn’t why I came here.

I bit my lip. I had no intention of worrying him. I calmly contained my emotions, took his hand, and slowly let it go.

“I’m fine. Really.”

“But…”

“No. I actually have something to ask you.”

I would simply do what I had to, what I could. Ban tilted his head slightly and nodded lightly.

He rose from his seat and sat opposite me, but his gaze remained fixed on me, searching to see if anything was wrong. Realizing this wouldn’t lead anywhere, I decided to change the topic.

“Ban, do you have a moment?”

“Yes. What is it?”

But the worry didn’t disappear. I shook my head slightly and smiled faintly before speaking again.

“It’s not my personal matter… I have something I’d like to ask for your help with.”

“What is it?”

“I need temporary permission to survey certain territories. Would that be possible?”

“Survey the territories?”

Ban looked at me, slightly surprised. I knew it wasn’t an easy request. Even temporary permission required approval from both the judiciary and the empire’s security force.

No noble would want outsiders wandering through their lands. Thus, judicial approval was needed for enforcement, and the security force had to accompany the survey for fairness.

This was based on my understanding of the law. There were more details I couldn’t grasp, which is why I needed Ban.

If the Crown Prince ordered it, both departments would process it quickly, and the permission would be granted immediately. I knew relying on power was somewhat unscrupulous, but I needed help.

It wasn’t about wanting to help Elian unconditionally, nor did I have any deep emotional attachment as a friend. If anything, it was neutral.

But Elian’s life was at stake. Because of that, I had to be more proactive.

And she was also part of the Astria Guild. Even if she wasn’t helpful in the field, she was excellent at negotiating contracts and influencing key people.

“….”

A faint smile escaped me. It was absurd—if I wanted to help, I could just help. Why did I have to justify helping Elian and convince myself?

I lifted my head, looked at Ban, and added,

“I want to help.”

He didn’t ask why. He seemed to understand that I had more to say and waited patiently. I met his red eyes and smiled faintly.

“Honestly, I’m not sure why. I could just dismiss it as your business and walk away, yet somehow it bothers me. We aren’t inseparable, nor are we especially close. I’ve even disliked you at times. But putting all that aside, I want to help. At least it’s something I can do.”

“So helping her requires surveying the territories?”

“Yes. In my judgment, it’s essential.”

I answered firmly, locking eyes with him.

Ban stared at me silently, then moved his hand instead of speaking. He took a pen from his sleeve, scribbled something on a small notepad, and handed it to his aide. The aide quickly left after reading it.

Ban rose and offered me his hand. I stared blankly, and he smiled.

“Shall we take a walk?”

Behind the knight order’s training ground was a small garden, a place of rest for the knights. Though most preferred to return home exhausted after training, it was known as a place that could easily be overlooked.

“I thought about clearing this space and building another training ground, but I’m glad I didn’t.”

It wasn’t large, but the garden was quaint and charming. I walked slowly along the neatly paved path, eyes lowered.

From the moment I took the hand he offered, Ban didn’t let go, forming an unintentional, affectionate posture like a couple. Should I let go or not?

Seeing that others pretended not to notice made me both embarrassed and strangely happy, a feeling impossible to put into words.

Which woman would dislike walking hand-in-hand with her man? Especially when he’s this handsome. If it were me, I’d cut off my hand for him if he needed it.

Walking side by side in this secluded garden made it real. That Ban and I were slightly different from others.

Yet, it felt strange. I had never cared much about romance, yet my thoughts naturally drifted toward him. Was it because he was the male protagonist? My feelings flowed naturally his way.

“Rudia.”

“Yes?”

“You’ve been distracted. Is it because of the matter you just mentioned?”

No. It’s because of you. I smiled and shook my head.

“It feels… awkward.”

Ban tilted his head and looked down, then tried to pull his hand away. I gripped it tighter. I didn’t want him to let go.

Ban, awkward, spoke hesitantly,

“I… I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have held your hand so casually without asking…”

“Do you always grab ladies’ hands like that?”

“Of course not!”

He jumped, denying it vehemently. I smiled at his cuteness. Even in this relatively open world, he was overly embarrassed. Perhaps his royal education made him so shy.

“Do we need water?”

“Huh?”

“Do we need it?”

I lightly waved my hand. Our joined hands swayed in the air. It was a tingling, delightful feeling.

“We’re not the kind of people who can’t do this, right? We don’t need to ask each other. If Ban wants it, I want it too, and vice versa. We’re that kind of people.”

I could clarify that it wasn’t entirely true, but why? This time holding his hand was precious. It made me forget why I came here and the heavy guilt I’d felt moments ago. No wonder people seek love.

It was addictive. Doing nothing, yet feeling joy. Just seeing his face made me smile. Time seemed both slow and short.

If love is the feeling that makes you think of only one person, then this must be love. I felt it strongly enough to know I shouldn’t fall too deeply.

Ban didn’t reply, just looked at me, smiling.

“I see. We’re that kind of people.”

He glanced briefly at the sky.

“Days pass quickly, and I sometimes forget. I even wonder if the things I’ve shared with you are real, or if the woman named Rudia exists at all, or if I’m just dreaming alone.”

“I feel the same. Sometimes it feels like a dream holding the most popular man in the empire. That’s why I hesitate to meet you, even today.”

“Today?”

I looked calmly at him.

“Wondering if I can make this request, if I can come see you… things like that.”

“No need to think that. I should be the one apologizing. There are too many eyes around us, and I have to hide us. And O’Connell…”

Ban stopped mid-sentence, frowning. Slowly shaking his head, he continued,

“Too many people pay excessive attention to us. I thought I had to restrain these feelings for you. I know my decisions sometimes make you struggle… I’m so ruthless, aren’t I?”

He smiled bitterly.

“To act calm, indifferent, as if nothing is happening, while knowing my lover wants to meet me outside… I have to wear a mask for others.”

He seemed strangely lonely. The reality he had faced since birth felt close.

I knew it from novels. Ban’s sense of duty, the burdens he had to carry all his life. He struggled.

A fragile man—not weak, but fragile. That’s why he was strong.

“How many people could love someone like me, knowing all this?”

He thought everyone wanted to kill, expel, or push him away. I looked down at our joined hands—slightly sweaty, a bit damp and slippery. His shoulders tensed, perhaps from nervousness. I quietly spoke.

“Indeed. Not many.”