101. Administrator and the Possessor,
The Distance Between Characters
“Whenever you need my help, just tell me. Ah, we might have to stay in the Garrett territory longer than expected. Should I send a letter to my brother?”
Rocelia gave directions smoothly and without hesitation.
She had already carried out a similar mission back during the Countess of Got affair, so this wasn’t particularly difficult for her.
‘Maybe I’m adapting faster than I thought?’
She recalled the time when the Administrator had fussed over her, praising her as someone naturally suited for possession.
While she was indulging in a little self-praise, Philip stared at her in surprise.
“What’s wrong?”
“No… it’s nothing.”
“?”
Why start to say something and then stop? That just makes me more curious.
“If it’s nothing, then feel free to say it.”
When Rocelia pressed him again, Philip reluctantly began.
“Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but… I was just a little astonished. I suppose I should say you’re far more competent than I imagined. You’re incredibly adept at handling things.”
…Was he picking a fight?
Rocelia’s eyes narrowed, but Philip’s expression was filled with nothing but genuine admiration.
“Though you’ve recently shown sides of yourself that defied my expectations, honestly, I never imagined you were this kind of person. Now that I’ve served you closely, I realize how narrow-minded my view has been.”
“All of a sudden?”
So quick to doubt me before, and now this sudden confession?
“Actually, I’ve been thinking this for some time…” Philip continued cautiously.
“Since the young duke placed absolute trust in you, I thought it was my duty to question that judgment, as part of balancing his perspective.”
Then he bowed deeply at the waist.
“But it was all my misjudgment. My thinking was shallow. I am truly sorry, my lady.”
Seraphine gasped and covered her mouth at the sight.
From the very moment Philip had been ordered by Icart to accompany Rocelia on this expedition, he had harbored no small amount of discontent.
His role was to assist Icart, and above all, he had always been uncomfortable with Rocelia.
Wasn’t it possible she was hiding some ulterior motive?
After all, people don’t just change overnight.
Even as he watched the changed Rocelia, he overlapped her with the woman he once knew.
The Rocelia he remembered was someone with whom reason was impossible.
She had been violent, overbearing, and arrogant. She was the kind of person he would never want to be near, even out of courtesy.
Even if she acted civilized in front of Icart, who was to say she wouldn’t turn into a completely different person the moment he wasn’t around?
…Yet, no matter how much he sharpened his guard and scrutinized her, she showed not even the slightest crack.
After long observation, Philip could no longer deny it.
She was completely different from the woman he had once known.
“Now I wonder if perhaps, until now, you only hid your true self for reasons you couldn’t reveal. Maybe you were always truly this kind of person.”
“Well, that’s one way of looking at it.”
Rocelia accepted Philip’s repeated bows and apologies with calm indifference.
‘I suppose it’s only natural he misunderstood.’
Honestly, she didn’t feel anything at all.
Of course, sometimes she felt angry, unfairly treated, and suffocated. The past Rocelia’s deeds clung to her like a phantom, dragging her down regardless of her own will.
Even fate itself seemed fixed on branding her with the “villainess executed” ending.
Through countless regressions, she had endured countless misunderstandings.
Sometimes the injustice pierced her to the bone; other times she resigned herself with bitter acceptance.
But after experiencing it all, she had become strangely detached.
‘Let them misunderstand, so what.’
If someone chose to misunderstand her, that was their burden.
Unless correcting it was absolutely necessary for the future, she had no intention of going out of her way to fix it.
‘Besides…’
Rocelia glanced at Seraphine.
At least one person saw her as she truly was.
That had nothing to do with how much time they’d spent together, nor with roles assigned by the original story or predetermined fate.
【Unknown: Ohhh?】
【Unknown: Now you realize? Too late for that.】
【Unknown: An apology won’t fix everything, you know.】
【Unknown: (￣_￣^)】
And there was also someone who openly favored her.
He followed her through the system window, through chat, through holograms—always staying at her side.
That, too, was something she hadn’t achieved through effort or will.
Which was why Rocelia could graciously accept Philip’s apology.
“As long as the misunderstanding is cleared up, that’s enough.”
After enduring endless suspicion and hardship, Rocelia had finally reached the point where she could love her fate.
【Unknown: Eh? A happy ending?】
“…Thank you.”
Philip bent even deeper.
After sending Philip and Seraphine off.
Having acted the part of a magnanimous saint by accepting his apology, I collapsed back into my seat the moment they were gone.
“Haa…”
Everything was proceeding smoothly, and yet my heart still felt heavy.
The conversation with Kaien replayed in my mind.
[Really?]
[Even when he’s trying to kill me?]
[You still won’t abandon me?]
I couldn’t answer for a long time.
As I hesitated, a system window appeared before my eyes.
【SYSTEM: Achievement Unlocked! ‘Crossroads of Choice’】
【SYSTEM: You have earned 300 Luck Points.】
[☞ Use Points Now ☜]
“What kind of nonsense achievement is that?”
I was beginning to feel disillusioned with this system that turned matters of the heart into mere “achievements.”
The moment I received that reward, the weight of a man’s true feelings had been reduced to nothing more than the plot of a supporting character.
‘Didn’t the Administrator once say that possessors and characters live in different worlds?’
It was a truth I was feeling down to my bones.
This world was, after all, the world inside the original novel.
The possessor was always in a position to look down on the story and its characters.
Was this supposed to be some kind of cheat code I should be happy about?
Yet here I was, caught between both worlds, belonging fully to neither.
Ping!
【Unknown: What’s with the sigh?】
【Unknown: ( • ε • )???】
“It’s just… one of those things.”
If only people’s feelings could be as neat and clear-cut as tasks.
I only brought him along because I needed to, and actively drew him in because I could predict the plot.
Everything I’d done had been based on purely rational judgment.
But now… what if one side had become far too genuine?
Could I really ignore those feelings?
‘Or else…’
【Unknown: ??????】
【Unknown: What, what? Tell me!】
【Unknown: You can tell me everything.】
【Unknown: The Administrator always listens.】
【Unknown: ( •⌄• )✧】
Ping, ping, ping.
The chat messages buzzed relentlessly.
“No, it’s fine.”
【Unknown: ( • ༝ • )…….】
The chat suddenly went quiet.
“…How is that fine? Not saying anything just makes me worry more.”
“……!”
A small, delicate hand gently landed on my shoulder.
The Administrator had manifested in human form, looking at me with concern.
My reflection shone in his transparent golden eyes.
“You, you—”
“You wouldn’t tell me anything through the chat no matter how much I asked. There’s no one around, so this much is fine, right?”
The Administrator spoke with a little pout.
“So, what’s bothering you? Is it Kaien? Or is it the mission?”
“…The mission, partly.”
I quickly averted my gaze and changed the subject.
‘Come to think of it, the mission reward was unusual…’
【SYSTEM: Mission! ‘Baron Garrett’s Secret’】
[Success Rewards: Kaien’s Memory Fragment, +30 Kaien Affection, Special Encounter, 1 Lucky Roulette Ticket.
Failure Penalty: Revocation of Hidden Route Access.]
“Looks like this mission has something to do with Kaien.”
“Tsk, I’d love to respond sincerely, but… it kind of seems that way and kind of doesn’t. The affairs of the world are mysterious indeed…”
“It’s fine. I know spoilers are off-limits, so you don’t have to force a reply.”
“As expected of my possessor—so considerate!”
The Administrator gazed at me with misty eyes full of admiration.
“In any case, I’ll need to talk with Kaien as well.”
I didn’t know yet how he was involved in all this, but—
[…]
“Huh?”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Just as I was discussing Kaien with the Administrator, a telepathic message from him arrived.
“What? Kaien hasn’t returned to the lodging?”
“Yes, my lady. We’ve been taking turns standing guard, but no one has entered or left.”
When Kaien’s telepathy reached me, I immediately sent a reply.
But no answer came back.
Worried, I rushed to the servants’ quarters, but there was still no news of his return.
“He still hasn’t come back…?”
The sky had already sunk into a dark night.
‘Where on earth did he go?’
At first, I thought he’d stepped out for some air. But apparently not.
‘By now, his night persona should’ve awakened…’
[Where are you?]
[Why haven’t you returned?]
I sent telepathy again and again, but there was no response.
Had something really happened to him?
Both his day and night personas were so unpredictable that my worry only deepened.
‘At this hour, where could Kaien have gone…’
I was pacing in front of the carriage, debating whether to go searching myself, when—
“Oh my, Lady Rocelia?”
I turned, and there was Seraphine, approaching in her carriage from the opposite side.
Hm. Can Admin spy for her, being invisible and all ghosty? XD