IAMFMFL CH 03

Nezar, as always, was seated on the sofa in the reception room. He had been quietly reading a book, and the moment I stepped inside, he slowly closed it.

His dark, muted crimson eyes looked at me through his glasses. Even though it had only been two days since I last saw him, his features were so harmonious and striking that they always felt new.

After staring at me in silence for a moment, he removed his glasses and placed them on the table.

His stiff gaze and tightly set lips felt unusually cold. Did something bad happen? I hesitantly closed the door and spoke.

“Ah, hi, Nezar. Have you eaten?”

There was no reply to my greeting.

What is this? Nezar simply stared at me with the same cold expression, and for some reason, I felt like it might be my fault.

I lingered near the door, pacing in small circles while watching his mood.

“What are you doing right now?”

“Huh? Ah, nothing. It just feels a bit cooler around here…”

“Did you eat something wrong at lunch? Stop talking nonsense and come sit down.”

Like a well-trained dog, I hurried over and dropped myself into the seat in front of him. The moment we faced each other, I imitated the old Katrina so I wouldn’t get nitpicked like at the dining table.

In other words, I acted noisy.

“What’s going on, Nezar? You don’t usually come this often! Ah, you came because you missed me, right? Right?”

It had only been two days since I reverted back, but why was this so exhausting?

I stared at him with sparkling eyes, but his expression grew even colder, as if he had just witnessed something unpleasant. I quietly relaxed my gaze.

“Kate, I heard you were reading a book just now?”

“A book?”

At his question, I recalled the moment before I met Rick, when I had been drinking tea.

“Yeah, that’s right. To be exact… I didn’t really read it, I just opened it to try.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

For a moment, I fell into deep thought. It sounded like a trivial question, but Nezar wasn’t the type to bring up trivial things when he was in a bad mood.

What should I say? That I needed to become a proper lady to find him a lover? That I started reading for that?

That would definitely hurt his pride.

Using my rarely exercised brain, I came up with the best possible answer.

“Because I want a girlfriend.”

The reception room fell silent.

At the same time, Nezar examined my face carefully, piece by piece. He was truly scrutinizing me. His gaze was so persistent that my cheeks began to feel hot.

Before I could start sweating, I quickly looked away. Even then, his gaze remained fixed on me.

“Did I hear that wrong? Did you just say you want a girlfriend?”

“Y-yeah. Since I only hang out with my brothers every day, I realized I don’t know how to get along with girls. So I read some etiquette books about tea parties.”

“What brought this change of heart? Just a week ago, you said you didn’t need friends at all. You said even if the world collapsed, having me was enough.”

I clearly remembered saying something like that. Thinking about it now, it was embarrassingly cringeworthy. There are so many things in the world besides Nezar that one needs!

“Well… when I thought about it, I felt like I need at least one or two friends. Without you or my brothers, I’m always alone. And that feels really miserable.”

Yes, this was it. What I had been feeling wasn’t loneliness, but misery.

Looking back, I always pretended I was fine, but deep down I felt ashamed and humiliated by being disliked. I clung to Nezar even more just to hide that feeling.

Admitting my true feelings at such an unexpected moment felt strange.

And relieving.

Becoming the new Katrina was absolutely the right choice!

But it seemed I was the only one who felt relieved. Even after my long-held confession, Nezar’s gaze remained cold and persistent.

“So you started practicing embroidery, looking up famous dressmakers, and memorizing the names of handsome noble sons? Do you really think that will help you make female friends?”

For a moment, it felt like all the blood drained from my head.

“W-where did you hear that?”

“From Lockheard. He talks about you every time we meet. It’s getting tiresome.”

Lockheard and Nezar were close friends, both nineteen.

After it was decided early on that Eden would become the heir, Lockheard left for the Imperial Academy, declaring he would become Nezar’s sword.

That was where everything began.

My passionate one-sided love for Nezar started when Lockheard brought him along as a “friend” in his first year at the academy.

Of course, I never imagined that love would last long enough to lead to an engagement.

I slowly took a breath. The problem wasn’t my crush.

The problem was that Lockheard was reporting all my private matters to Nezar!

“That damn bastard Lockheard!”

Bang!

I instinctively clenched my fist and slammed the table, but quickly stiffened and withdrew my hand.

“Ahem. Sorry for making you hear all that. I’ll make sure to shut Lockheard up properly from now on.”

Hearing about someone you’re not even interested in is quite exhausting. I could easily imagine Nezar’s expression while listening to Lockheard. Bored, uninterested, sleepy.

With his arms crossed and chin resting on his hand, he spoke slowly.

“So, what’s your answer?”

“…Answer? What answer?”

“I asked whether memorizing the names of handsome noble sons is necessary for making female friends.”

His already low, heavy voice sounded even thicker today. He might joke around sometimes, but this was the first time he so openly showed his bad mood.

What happened to him? Wanting to cheer him up, I answered in a voice twice as lively as usual.

“Of course! It’s really important! Girls need common ground when they talk. Just like how men talk about women when they gather, women also get excited talking about men. So you absolutely have to memorize them.”

“Hmm.”

My lively tone didn’t seem to help. Instead, Nezar leaned back further, as if deep in thought.

His half-lidded eyes slowly scanned me from top to bottom, as though analyzing the curve of my smile and the angle of my brows in detail.

“Alright. If you’re going to make friends, I can’t just sit back as your fiancé. I’ll be your practice partner just for today, so tell me one name you’ve memorized.”

That was not a welcome offer at all.

“Thanks, but I’m really fine.”

“Say it.”

His tone was so firm that I blurted out the first name that came to mind.

“Um… Pansion Entera.”

I remembered Daisy mentioning him.

Pansion Entera was the vice-captain of the Second Knights Division of the Imperial Guard.

A sword prodigy who rose to that position in his mid-twenties. A capable, unmarried man who attracted not only young ladies but even married noblewomen.

Though I had never actually seen him.

“Pansion Entera…”

After briefly closing and opening his eyes, Nezar suddenly asked,

“Lady Kate, which part of Sir Pansion made you fall for him?”

Was this what he meant by helping? Roleplay?

But his tone was strange. No noble lady in the empire spoke in such a forceful manner.

And fall for him? I hadn’t even seen his face.

His gaze, once merely cold, now felt sharp enough to bite into my cheek. I shrank slightly and answered,

“Um, I haven’t fallen for him.”

Was I too firm? Flustered, I quickly added more, making things up as I went.

“But he must be very… handsome.”

If he’s popular, he must be.

“And he probably has a strong, knightly build…”

He has to, considering his position.

“So I feel like my face turns red every time I see him. What kind of person catches your eye often, Lady Nezar?”

Holding my teacup with my pinky raised, covering my mouth when I smiled, I tried to behave like a proper lady as I met his eyes.

Since he was even going along with roleplay for me, I wanted to show effort. That way, he wouldn’t suspect anything.

But for some reason, Nezar said nothing. His expression, once sharp enough to devour me, became quiet, as if doused in cold water.

I must have done something wrong.

I didn’t know what, but I was certain I had.

Clearly, something displeased him. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find the cause. So I waited silently for him to speak.

I didn’t know how much time had passed. Only after letting out a heavy sigh, as if suppressing his emotions, did Nezar finally speak.

“Kate, you need to take responsibility for what you say. Surely I’m not the only one who thinks that?”

What does that mean? This feels bad. I didn’t understand a single word he was saying.

Resting his chin on the sofa, he let out another breath. His voice, once soft and sweet like freshly baked castella, had turned rough.

“Those in high positions have as many obligations as privileges. The reason I, as the Crown Prince, chose you as my fiancée…”

He suddenly stopped.

Rubbing his forehead, his expression twisted slightly before he asked,

“How old are you this year? Sixteen?”

“Fifteen.”

“…You’re terribly young. What on earth am I even doing with a fifteen-year-old…”

That was his third sigh. I couldn’t exactly say, “Mentally, I’m seventeen.”

No one would take that as normal.

“Do you even know how old I am?”

“Of course. Do you think I can’t even count? You’re nineteen this year.”

Answering confidently without hesitation, Nezar raised one eyebrow slightly.

It was a small change, but the heavy atmosphere seemed to lighten a bit. I could finally breathe again.

Why do I have to feel so tense in front of my own fiancé?

Frustrated, I pressed my lips together and inhaled.

This is what happens when you’re the one who likes first, likes more, and keeps liking.

In my mind, I punched twelve-year-old Lockheard who had brought Nezar.

This is all that idiot second brother’s fault. If he hadn’t gone on about becoming Nezar’s sword, I wouldn’t have to feel this inferior!

“…Alright. There’s no need to rush.”

Saying that, Nezar made a small gesture with his hand.

It meant for me to come closer, so I hurried over and took the seat beside him.