Chapter 1
The chill of the sword pressed against my neck.
“Royden…”
I looked at the blade with trembling eyes. The sharp pain that ran along my neck sent shivers down my spine.
“What… what are you doing?”
It felt like walking on thin ice, tension squeezing my lungs. Why was he pointing a sword at me? And today of all days…
“It’s the day our child was born.”
I had just given birth, my body barely recovered. I could still feel the thick blood flowing from below.
For a moment, panic struck, then I froze as the sword drew closer.
“Vanessa.”
Royden whispered.
“I know a future you don’t.”
“…Huh?”
“This life isn’t my first.”
Bang.
My heart dropped, a cold shiver ran down my back.
‘Cold.’
It was the first time I realized he could be this cold. It was as if he had never loved me at all.
“I… I don’t understand what you mean.”
I shut my eyes tightly, then opened them.
“How does the fact that this isn’t your first life become a reason to threaten me?”
Royden chuckled, as if mocking me.
“I know… you…”
He stepped closer to me.
“What terrible things you will do to my daughter in the future.”
Terrible things? That couldn’t be true.
“Don’t lie. What would I do to the child…!”
“Neglect and abuse.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but the faint anger in his voice overwhelmed me.
“To protect my daughter, you cannot stay here.”
Ah… my daughter.
“Ruby…”
I whispered the newborn’s name. As soon as I did, Royden pressed the sword against my neck again.
“Calling her lovingly won’t help. Stop pretending now.”
Clang.
The sword in Royden’s hand was thrown to the left. It clattered noisily across the floor and ended up by the door.
Cough.
As the tension released, I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. But Royden just looked at me coldly.
“Think of our past. I’ll give you time to choose.”
“…Huh?”
“Tomorrow, there will be a fire at Count Deffnit’s estate.”
Royden whispered.
“Unfortunately, Count Deffnit won’t escape.”
Count Deffnit—my sister—would die. After that, investments quickly dried up. Debts piled up.
“The Deffnit family, unable to endure, will soon return under the emperor’s authority.”
“…Are you deceiving me?”
“Believe it or not, it’s your choice.”
His voice turned cold.
“If the future I speak of is true…”
“….”
“Then disappear quietly from my sight.”
At first, I thought it was a cruel joke.
He had returned from the past.
He would harm the child I loved.
The Deffnit family, once prosperous, would fall.
I thought it made more sense if the world itself ended. My anxiety deepened, hesitation growing with every passing second.
“Ma… Madam! Count Deffnit…!”
The news soon confirmed Royden’s words.
An angry lord, upset by rising taxes, set fire to the estate. My sister, inside, perished in the flames. Investors pulled out immediately, and the family fortune was destroyed trying to cover damages and funds. Relatives embezzled whatever remained, and servants demanded unpaid wages. My personal wealth wasn’t enough to cover the debts. Even selling dresses and jewelry wouldn’t suffice.
The Deffnit family could no longer support the estate. In the end, they sank under debt and were seized by imperial order.
My world was moving exactly as Royden had said. Was the future he described truly real?
“No… could it be… my sister’s death…”
Because I didn’t believe Royden’s future? Was it all my fault?
My shoulders slumped, sharp spikes pricked my back.
‘Impossible. That my whole remaining life would follow his words.’
Bang.
My heart grew cold, my fingertips trembled.
‘Could this really happen?’
—I know… you…
“Ahh…”
—What terrible things you will do to my daughter.
No.
—To protect my daughter…
It couldn’t be.
—You cannot remain here.
“No!”
I tried to push the thoughts exploding in my head away.
‘Impossible… why?’
My most beloved child… the child I had waited so long for.
‘Royden surely wouldn’t be wrong.’
I hoped so desperately.
“Au… ugh!”
I felt as if the smiling face of the child in my arms was distorting. The baby felt unbearably heavy.
I was scared. Afraid. Afraid that, as he said, I might hurt the child.
In this crumbled world, this child was all that remained. If harmed, I wouldn’t survive.
Dong—.
The midnight bell rang. My head spun. When I heard the chime, all my senses seemed to blur.
“Madam.”
The door opened. A maid I didn’t know spoke.
“The Duke sent this.”
She took out a box and showed me its contents. Dried tea leaves. But the box was wrapped in multiple layers, and the maid wore gloves, as if the contents must not touch anything.
‘No…’
I sank to the floor, holding my child tightly. I realized instinctively.
‘This is poison.’
—Disappear quietly from my sight.
Could that be what he meant?
I looked around. No one remained except the maid. Strange. Normally, I would have questioned this, but I didn’t. It was as if I were entranced…
“Alright. I must meet Royden.”
If this was what he wanted, I would show him.
The white moon rose, and the room was silent. Vanessa sat on the sofa, relying on the moonlight, staring at the window.
Creak.
Some time later, the door opened. Royden appeared.
“Have you decided?”
His brow furrowed, exhaustion clear on his face. Vanessa said nothing. She just indicated the space in front of her, sensing he didn’t want to linger.
Royden hesitated, then approached. Between them was a table with two cups of hot tea.
“….”
Royden frowned at the different tea, but Vanessa’s voice quickly drew his attention.
“Royden, would I really harm the child?”
A hollow voice, trembling. Royden flinched slightly, then calmed.
“If we don’t change…”
“I see.”
Vanessa’s voice was calm.
“I really was a danger to the child.”
Royden raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
“I’ll do as you wish.”
Vanessa weakly lifted the teacup. The warm tea slipped down her throat, and a soft breath escaped her lips.
“I want our child to be the happiest.”
“…What?”
Royden’s eyes widened.
“I’m sorry… to you and the child.”
Vanessa’s voice trembled.
“I will bear it all…”
Clang.
The teacup slipped from Vanessa’s hand, spilling its contents. Red liquid spread across the table.
Blood.
‘It hurts.’
It felt as if my esophagus was on fire, burning inside, throbbing painfully.
But thinking of the child who would be abused, and Anemone, who died unfairly because I didn’t believe Royden…
‘I have no right to feel pain.’
This was the only way to atone. As he wanted.
‘I will disappear now.’
May my death bring peace to everyone. May that peace bring joy.
“Vanessa!”
At that moment, Royden caught Vanessa as she collapsed.
“Damn…”
His violet eyes lost, his hands trembling slightly.
“Wh-Why…?”
Royden seemed surprised. I had done as he wished, yet this dazed expression.
Vanessa exhaled weakly and smiled.
‘Not bad.’
It wasn’t the hateful look from before.
“I… have a request.”
Vanessa gathered the last of her strength to stroke his cheek.
“Tell the child…”
That I loved them deeply.
“Do… don’t hate me too much.”
But her end came quickly.
Her weakened hand slipped to the floor. Vanessa, after giving birth, accepted her death soon after.
All because she might harm the child in the future she didn’t know. She lost her short life for a future she couldn’t see.
