Chapter 114
“Ah! It’s the Archduke!”
Ellen ran over to him, her small face full of delight. The child grabbed his hand tightly and led him toward Ninia.
Now Ellen no longer feared the Archduke. Ninia guessed that some kind of conversation had passed between the two, but Ellen insisted it was a secret, so Ninia couldn’t hear a thing.
While staying close to Ellen, Ninia occasionally caught his gaze. At first, there was no conversation. The palpable distance between them felt even more foreign.
Even though she had retrieved her child, the tangled threads of emotions could not be easily unraveled. She wanted to approach him. But they could not. It seemed as though the distance between them might never be bridged.
“Here.”
Ninia handed him the silk ribbon. Tarahan’s brow furrowed slightly at the thin, smooth fabric. How many times had he ever held something so delicate? His all-black attire contrasted sharply with the fragile silk, and it made him almost laugh.
The one who had broken down the walls between him and Ninia was their beloved daughter. Every moment he coincidentally spent with her, every word exchanged, had been made possible by Ellen’s bright smile.
Unaware, Ninia naturally began speaking to him as she watched Ellen grow brighter. Tarahan approached only as far as she reached. Watching him, Ninia realized he had always been waiting for her permission.
“Archduke, are you going to tie it?”
Ellen’s eyes sparkled. Her small hands gripped the silk ribbon tightly, veins visible with the effort. Unable to look away, he slowly nodded, and Ellen spun around excitedly.
“…”
Facing her fine black hair, his expression deepened. His free hand gathered her hair, and he slowly wrapped the ribbon around it. His movements were careful. In the end, he succeeded in tying it, though it wasn’t the pretty bow Ellen had hoped for.
All the knots he knew were practical, meant for real situations. Without knowing how to untie them, they seemed almost impossible to undo. Fortunately, it didn’t hurt, and the child turned back forward, smiling innocently.
“How is it? Am I pretty?”
Tarahan nodded, and the child beamed. When Ellen twirled in place, the tied-up hair and lace skirt swayed. There was no trace of darkness on her face—not just the anxiety from past accidents, but a child slowly filling the gaps she had felt growing up.
“You’re beautiful. Our daughter.”
“I’m not going to untie it!”
When Ninia complimented her, Ellen grew even more excited. Ninia studied the knot carefully—it was impossible to tell how it had been tied. Even if Ellen hadn’t said so, it wouldn’t come undone unless cut.
“You really do have things you can’t do.”
A natural joke slipped out without passing through her mind. Only then did Ninia realize just how much she had longed for these peaceful days together. She knew well that praying for impossible wishes only led to unhappiness. Yet now, at the edge of life, Ninia had obtained the day she had desperately wanted. Perhaps, this was happiness.
Spending time with her child now gave her plenty of moments to reflect. As Ninia stroked Ellen’s hair, the child looked up at the pendant swinging beneath her collarbone and asked:
“Mom, why do you always wear this necklace?”
Her hand froze mid-stroke. The crime she had forgotten, yet could never truly forget, rose to her mind.
Ninia grasped the string of pearls resting at her neck. The white pearls contained her life, a life borrowed from someone else’s breath.
She had vowed to remove it the instant she found Ellen through the temple. Yet reasons kept adding up. Once Ellen regained her stability, once she granted a few more of the child’s wishes, once she saw the life she shared with him and the child… only then would she want to leave.
The reasons multiplied, and the justification for standing on her guilt grew heavier.
Her happiness had been built atop others. This was the first time the child asked about the pearl string. Perhaps because she had ignored her vow, a few pearls were beginning to darken.
Ninia was, for all intents and purposes, already near the end. When the necklace fully blackened, the protective power preserving her broken body would vanish. Shattered to pieces. That would be her end.
“It’s precious, that’s why.”
“I see.”
Ninia tried to keep her voice steady. Ellen didn’t ask further, though she tilted her head in curiosity. But the child’s attention quickly shifted to someone else.
“Ellen!”
“Uncle!”
As Clove bent down and opened his arms, Ellen leaped into him. He lifted her high, and she proudly announced:
“Uncle! The Archduke tied my hair!”
“Really? Well, I never thought I’d see the day.”
Clove chatted amiably with the child. He had returned to being the resident doctor of Lentus Castle. Though it seemed they were back to square one, Clove’s demeanor had changed from before.
“Why would the sun rise in the west?”
“That’s because Your Highness performed the rare act of tying your hair. I will take the child with me.”
After being forced into the role of guest under the crown prince, Clove seemed audacious. He glanced at Tarahan and Ninia, took the child, and swiftly turned away. Still cautious, his steps grew faster until he disappeared from sight.
Checking the wall clock, it was already afternoon. Ellen had promised to spend part of it with Clove. Clove had advised it was better not to be overly close to the child.
Once the little one was gone, the hallway fell silent again. The link between them was Ellen. After she disappeared, only silence remained between them.
Ninia carefully chose her words, attempting to untangle the complex feelings within. But the words she managed to speak became a farewell once more.
“…I’ll be going now.”
Ninia slowly turned away. Even with her back to him, his gaze remained. She had to push him away. The thought of looking back made her speed up. Yet the voice she thought wouldn’t call her stopped her in place.
“Ninia.”
Her heart dropped at merely hearing her name, as if perched on a seesaw above a cliff. To preserve even the happiness balanced on the blade, they both had to remain in place. At a distance where hands couldn’t reach, only their voices could transmit warmth.
“It’s nothing.”
So close, yet still unreachable. Her paused steps resumed, maintaining the proper space between them once again.
Sunlight spilled through the round windows onto the corridor. Ninia drifted further, past the sunlight. Tarahan stood still, watching her retreating back. That was the only way he could prevent her from falling off a cliff.
Time passed too quickly for her. A momentary blink, and the sun had set, and night had fallen.
Dinner was held in the grand dining hall. Seated in their places, they truly looked like a harmonious family. Ellen had kept one hand hidden behind her back, even after the food was served.
After the meal, when Ninia went to bed with the child, Ellen ran to her with her hand still hidden.
“Mom, here’s a gift.”
The child handed over a necklace made of small beads. Crafted with colorful gems, it was as cute and lovely as her smile. Ninia was momentarily speechless at the sudden gift. The child’s voice softened:
“I thought your necklace was worn… but it’s precious. So I wanted to wear it together with the one I made.”
Ellen had shown concern for Ninia’s pearl necklace because a few pearls had darkened. Thinking it was precious to her mother, she didn’t want to mention the darkened pearls, nor leave them be, so she persuaded Clove to get her the materials.
The necklace born from the child’s hands was beautiful. The feel of the beads at her fingertips was vivid enough to make Ninia feel truly alive—and painfully so.
That night, after expressing her thanks to Ellen, she left the room, leaving the child asleep.
