Episode 15
Don’t Assimilate with Criminals
Cold fingers touched my cheek. They pulled, poked, and stretched gently.
At first, it felt kind and friendly.
I had been upset, but now I suddenly felt proud.
Huz normally hated physical contact. He frowned when I held his hand, and got upset if I hugged him.
But now… he approached me on his own. Even if he was drunk, this was a big deal. I smiled with joy.
“Snow White,” he said.
“Yes?”
He stopped smiling and took a deep breath. His hand moved from my cheek to my shoulder. Then he spoke quietly, his voice calm and flat like a still lake.
“Don’t you hate me?”
＊ ＊ ＊
The crackling firewood broke the silence.
‘Why is he asking me that?’
If I answered honestly, I could get in trouble for being rude. I thought carefully before I spoke.
“You smell like blood,” I said.
“You don’t like that?”
“Your eyes are kind of scary.”
“So you don’t like them?”
“You’re cold. I shiver when I hug you.”
“Stop dodging the question. Answer me.”
He hugged me tighter when I avoided answering.
“I know what you really think better than anyone.”
I looked at his face and finally spoke.
“Then why ask if you already know?”
“Because I want to hear it from you directly.”
“……”
“The truth. No lies.”
It was a hard thing to ask. He said it softly, without emotion.
“Say it. Now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t get mad?”
“Never.”
Only then did I lower my head and answer.
“…Yeah, I don’t like you.”
I spent my whole life trapped in a small, dark room. Every day felt like death. I was more miserable than a corpse.
“I hate you.”
I wanted to live like a real person. I wanted to enjoy life. I wanted a warm house, not a freezing storage room.
That’s why I made the ice key from the snow on the window, even when my frostbitten hands bled. I didn’t scream. I just kept shaping the ice.
“I really hate you.”
That key gave me freedom.
“You took it all away.”
“I hate you so much.”
…Of course I hate you. How could I not?
My smile disappeared. I looked at him.
Huz, do you know what it cost me to get here?
How many fingernails I lost, how much hair was pulled out, how many bones broke, how many teeth were shattered?
Do you know?
I shut my eyes tightly, then opened them.
I held back my anger and said, calmly:
“But now I just don’t like you.”
Huz’s lips parted slightly.
“…You don’t hate me more than that?”
“Yeah.”
I gave a faint smile.
“At least you don’t chain me up.”
“……”
“You don’t try to burn me or assault me. You gave me clothes, food, a place to live… even books to read.”
He always growled like he hated me, but he still gave me everything I needed.
He said he wanted to kill me, but he never did. He handled me carefully, like an angry bear trying not to hurt someone.
I didn’t fully understand him—but it didn’t feel bad.
“You’re not even violent when you’re drunk.”
He once told me only I could control him.
“You held my cheek gently. It didn’t hurt.”
I liked his contradictions. I liked that he was unpredictable. Even if I couldn’t figure out what he was feeling, he still treated me with respect—so I didn’t have to hate him anymore.
“And the reason you kidnapped me was because of the curse.”
At least it wasn’t because I was a ‘witch.’
“I understand you.”
When I was young, I tried cutting my wrist to get rid of the mark on my hand.
It didn’t work. It just hurt a lot.
So, I understood him. If I could remove my mark by kidnapping someone, I might’ve done it too.
“So I just don’t like you.”
A heavy silence followed.
Then—crash—a bottle hit the ground.
“……No.”
It was a liquor bottle.
I looked up at Huz.
“You shouldn’t think like that,” he said.
His eyes were red and full of pain. Veins showed on his neck and arms. He gritted his teeth and held my shoulder tighter.
“W-What do you mean?”
I stammered, scared by his sudden change.
He looked hurt and stepped back.
“……No, Snow White. That’s not kindness.”
My mind went blank.
“Why do you think it’s kind to not chain you, not burn you, not hurt you? Why is giving you food and a home considered thoughtful?”
He rubbed his face hard with his hand. His voice shook.
“That’s not kindness. That’s just normal. I’ve never been kind to you. Not even once.”
His voice broke. He sounded like he couldn’t breathe.
“……Why are you grateful for basic human decency?”
I couldn’t speak. My throat was blocked.
I just looked up at him.
His eyes were full of pain, like paper being crumpled.
‘That’s… normal?’
I laughed a little.
Just because I was full and warm, I started to forget. I thought someone slightly better than a monster was a good person.
But Huz was right. I’d been brainwashed.
The life I had now—being safe, fed, clothed—should’ve been normal. I shouldn’t be touched by it.
‘Then why is he saying this?’
If he was brainwashing me, he should’ve kept going. But instead, he snapped me out of it. Why? Why does he look so sad?
“……I knew using black magic was a mistake.”
Huz held his head, muttering something strange. Then he looked at me and spoke clearly:
“Listen, Snow White. Just because a bad person doesn’t act bad for a bit doesn’t make them good. No matter the reason, the person who hurt you is wrong. You’re the victim.”
His eyes hardened.
“You don’t have to understand your abuser. Ever. Even me. Never try to forgive those who hurt you.”
His voice got louder.
“And kindness? What kindness? I kidnapped you. I threatened your life.”
“……”
“If I was a good person, I would’ve just talked to you. But I didn’t. Why? Because I didn’t care. Because it was easier not to.”
He gave a bitter smile.
“Remember this. There are people worse than me out there. Don’t ever think someone’s kind just because they act less bad. I never once did anything to make you happy.”
He clenched his jaw and growled.
“Don’t ever become like the criminals.”
I stood there, speechless, and slowly looked down at the hand he had on my shoulder.
Even though he was angry, he still made sure not to hurt me. His nails didn’t dig into my skin.
Something strange twisted in my stomach. I didn’t know what it was. It stung like a thorn, but also felt soft.
“…Huz.”
I asked quietly:
“Why did you become a killer?”
You seem to think normally… so how did you end up like this?
He looked surprised, then smiled.
“There’s no reason.”
His voice was low and heavy.
“…I kill because I want to.”
Then he vanished like a mirage.
I stood there, clenching and unclenching my hands awkwardly.
‘…Say what you want. Preach all you like.’
He disappeared with a look full of pain.
If it hurts so much, why not let it out?
Why does he hide it all?
“…Well, it’s his choice…”
I sighed and looked up. That sorrow in his eyes still haunted me.
It was a sad, frustrating, confusing day.
＊ ＊ ＊
The morning sun rose behind the mountains.
The campfire sparked again. Firewood fell as footsteps stopped at Inea’s bedside.
“……”
Huz knelt down, looking at her.
Her breathing was calm. Seeing her alive made him feel relieved.
‘…I’m such a mess.’
Right after, shame crept in. Huz bit his lip.
When she said she thought well of him—her kidnapper—his heart sank and he lost control.
She was too kind. Too soft. In a cruel world, she could easily be tricked by bad people pretending to be nice.
Huz had to stop that from happening.
It seemed like she couldn’t sleep well that night. Her tired eyes, the missing firewood, and all the ash showed that she’d stayed up.
‘I hope she didn’t realize what I really meant…’
He had to tell her the truth eventually, but he said too much. It might’ve sounded like he cared.
‘I hope she doesn’t notice…’
He didn’t want her to think kindly of him. He’d rather die than be lumped in with the criminals she hated.
“I should quit drinking. I’m going to mess something up.”
Huz sighed. He wanted to wake her and ask if she suspected anything—but when he saw her sleeping peacefully, he couldn’t.
Besides, now wasn’t the time for her to notice anything strange about him.
He had to be careful. Much more careful than usual. Only then could he make sure nothing from the past repeated.
He brought out her breakfast and started to leave, but paused.
There was nothing fun for her to do here. She’d probably just look at clouds and point at them out of boredom.
He felt a little sorry for her.
‘Is there something I can give her to kill time?’
