Chapter 20
The day after Benedict left.
Lucien had gone down to the butler’s office out of curiosity, and by chance, overheard a conversation between Alfie and one of the retainers.
“Surely, among the retainers, there must be someone willing to take in a young girl?”
Listening in on other people’s conversations was wrong.
Even knowing that, Lucien couldn’t help but keep listening through the crack in the door.
Because it sounded like they were talking about her.
“In any case, now that the Duke is in the capital, this is our chance. He may be disappointed when he returns, but it’s not a bad thing to find a good home for the child, is it?”
Alfie didn’t respond. The other person continued, trying to persuade him.
“I heard you personally taught her manners and academics. If you say she’s a smart child and share the results of her lessons, anyone would welcome her.”
Just then, Lucien heard someone coming out from the kitchen.
Hugging her notebook, she quickly fled up the stairs and hid.
Thankfully, she made it back to her room without being seen. Leaning her back against the door, she let out a shaky breath.
‘What do I do?’
Questions filled with confusion raced through her mind.
As a child, she had longed for parents and a home.
But not anymore. Lucien knew all too well that someone like her didn’t belong in a warm and loving place.
‘More than anything… Benedict said he needed me.’
She wasn’t confident in fulfilling the role of Special Advisor.
But she wanted to do her best to respond to those words—that she was needed. After all, maybe Benedict was the only person who would ever say that to her.
“Let’s just focus on what I can do.”
Lucien did her best to calm herself.
Fortunately, she knew from experience how difficult adoption really was. The adults who came to the orphanage examined the children so carefully.
The main reason Lucien was never chosen was her appearance—most adults would immediately shake their heads at the sight of her stark white hair.
‘It’s a relief, in a way, that I look unsettling.’
Then, she quietly placed the notebook she had been holding all afternoon back on her desk and decided never to open it again.
She remembered the words: if your academic performance is good, you’ll be welcomed.
But just a day after making that decision, she accidentally made the mistake of getting all the answers right on a spelling test!
In truth, she had guessed a few, just writing down whatever came to mind—but somehow, they were all correct.
Lucien felt her vision go dark.
‘What if they decide to adopt me now?!’
As she swallowed nervously, unsure how to express her fear, Alfie raised one hand and smiled.
“If Miss Lucien doesn’t study hard, it becomes a problem.”
Lucien flinched and looked at him cautiously. Had he already started looking for an adoptive family?
“Wh-Why…?”
“Well, because you’re the Duke’s Special Advisor. Isn’t that right?”
“Well… yes.”
“That’s an important position. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if we’re asking too much of you.”
“No! I like the job!”
“But to solve problems, you need knowledge and experience, don’t you? Isn’t that right?”
That was a fact she couldn’t argue with.
“I’m not saying the job is too much for you specifically. Any twelve-year-old would find it hard to solve every problem in a Duke’s household.”
“So then…”
Are you planning to adopt me out to another family because I’m useless?
Lucien was about to ask but stopped herself. She’d be admitting she eavesdropped on his conversation.
“Miss Lucien, what’s wrong?”
“I just… wanted to say I only got them all right this time because I was lucky! I actually guessed a few… so I probably won’t get them all right next time!”
No, she definitely wouldn’t. Lucien spoke with firm determination that she would write wrong answers next time.
She would memorize every answer and intentionally get half of them wrong!
“Oh my, how modest! Adults adore modest children! Hohoho.”
Nooo!
Lucien looked up at Alfie in horror. She had no desire to be adored by adults or adopted by anyone.
“…”
But the smile on his face suddenly froze. He was looking behind Lucien.
Was something wrong?
Lucien slowly turned around to look as well.
At that moment, Carter, the stable keeper of the Duke’s estate, entered through the back door.
Since he lived outside the main residence, Lucien had barely interacted with him.
“Hello.”
Still, Lucien bowed politely in greeting. But Carter didn’t respond.
In fact, it seemed he didn’t even hear her. He didn’t spare her a single glance.
Lucien was highly skilled at reading adults’ moods, and she knew better than to speak further in situations like this.
She quietly stepped aside down the hallway and held her breath.
Then, as Carter approached, he stopped right in front of Alfie.
Lucien nervously watched, wondering if Alfie might try to lighten the mood with a joke.
Even if he did, surely a stable keeper wouldn’t speak rudely to the butler.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face here, Alfie Bell.”
Lucien jumped in surprise at the clearly accusatory tone.
“After killing someone.”
She was even more shocked now, staring back and forth between Alfie and Carter.
“I prayed you’d die somewhere out there.”
Lucien looked at Alfie, face pale.
Even though anyone would’ve been outraged by those words, Alfie just stood there, head bowed, silently.
Then, he finally spoke quietly.
“…Uncle.”
Only then did Lucien understand the situation.
The talk of “killing someone”—he must be referring to Alfie and his mother’s incident.
‘But… it wasn’t the butler’s fault.’
Even so, she felt deeply concerned for Alfie. How much must it hurt inside?
After a long silence, Alfie finally said something again.
“Ugh, horse manure smell.”
What the—?
Lucien was startled. Carter seemed just as stunned by the unexpected response.
“It reeks so bad I think I’ll die. Bleh!”
Alfie pinched his nose and skipped off toward the stairs leading to the first floor.
Carter blinked in disbelief and only snapped out of it a moment later.
“You!”
“The bathroom’s that way!”
Alfie answered with a cheerful smile. He didn’t seem the least bit intent on dropping that facade.
Carter scowled and shot a glare at Alfie.
“You’d best stay away during the anniversary of my sister’s death. Got it? My mother might faint if she sees a murderer like you!”
He must have meant Alfie’s maternal grandmother.
After delivering that verbal blow, Carter stomped out the way he came. Whatever errand had brought him here seemed forgotten.
Lucien looked at Alfie again with concern.
This time, he really did look stunned—his face blank as he stared at the door where Carter had exited.
After a long pause, he murmured with trembling lips:
“…Not even going to wash?”
His voice was full of sorrow.
The next day, Lucien continued her lessons with Alfie. Since he was busy, the lesson was held in the butler’s underground office.
Lucien paid close attention to every sentence and line of the textbook.
She had resolved not to repeat yesterday’s “accident” of getting everything correct.
If anything, she would memorize it all so she could intentionally get some wrong.
It was a flawless strategy.
“That’s it for today. There won’t be any class tomorrow, so make sure to review. The test is the day after tomorrow. Any questions?”
Lucien had actually wanted to ask him something since yesterday.
But she wasn’t sure if someone like her, who couldn’t do anything to help, had the right to ask.
“Um…”
“Oh, I’m not bothered about yesterday.”
“Huh?!”
“Oops, wasn’t that what you were going to ask? About yesterday?”
When Lucien asked how he knew, he chuckled and replied.
“Well, Miss Lucien, you heard the same thing I did that one time, remember? I figured you saw me as a comrade. Aww, how touching.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“Hm? For what?”
“When I was insulted by that Monsieur Dujarndin, you helped me. But I couldn’t help you at all.”
Lucien now understood what Alfie meant when he said that no twelve-year-old could handle everything that happens in a Duke’s household.
“You’re loyal, Miss Lucien. But don’t worry.”
“How can I not?”
“It’s not like he was wrong.”
“…What?”
“Well…”
Alfie’s eyes shifted as he smiled faintly—the same steely smile she’d seen since yesterday.
“About my grandmother. Who would want to see the man who killed their daughter?”
Lucien didn’t know how to respond, biting her lips.
“Even my mother probably wouldn’t have wanted to see someone like me.”
