CHAPTER 74………………..
“Ugh…”
Even lifting her eyelids felt exhausting. Waking up at the crack of dawn every single day for over twenty years now seemed like a faint, dreamlike memory.
But for Adele, things that felt truly dreamlike didn’t have to be so far away.
“…You’re awake?”
“Commander.”
At the voice that came from right beside her, Adele’s pale shoulders flinched.
Right. I married this man.
And if she thought about that, pretending otherwise was pointless. After all, just last night they had pushed and pulled, pressed down and tangled up—done everything a man and woman could do in bed. To act ignorant now was…
“Adele, why won’t you even meet my eyes?”
Of course, he wasn’t one to let things slide.
As his voice—subtly insistent—brushed against the nape of her neck, Adele shivered and hastily turned onto her side.
She pulled the blanket up, but with him in front of her, it hardly felt like she was covering anything at all.
“…It’s nice to see you first thing in the morning.”
“Commander—no, Killian.”
“So you do remember.”
When she spoke his name of her own accord, Killian lowered his gaze in clear satisfaction.
Lying on his side, propping his head on one arm, he looked down at her with a noble, composed expression that didn’t seem like the man she knew. That only made her more nervous, more unsettled.
“…What’s the matter, my wife?”
Even the most ordinary form of address didn’t sound ordinary at all when spoken on the bed.
She could still feel his whispers from the night before lingering in every corner of her body.
She quickly cleared her throat, trying to shake off the ticklish feeling.
“I think that’s something I should be asking you, Commander.”
“What is?”
“Well… uh, that is…”
All her attempts at composure were betrayed by her face, which flushed like the morning sun.
Weren’t you supposed to… have that kind of problem?
Even when she thought back to last night, Killian hadn’t exactly denied it. In fact, hadn’t he looked at her as if expecting something?
“…Are you all right?”
As Adele floundered, Killian stroked her shoulder.
As if that weren’t enough, his lips pressed against the same spot, making Adele squeeze her eyes shut and blurt out:
“Y-you acted like you couldn’t…!”
“…Like I couldn’t what?”
“That! That thing!”
The very thing we practically wore ourselves out doing last night.
Adele mouthed wordlessly before casting him a resentful glance.
Perhaps it would have been embarrassing before the noble, statue-like commander of knights. But after experiencing firsthand that he, too, was nothing less than a beast, embarrassment felt irrelevant.
“Ah… you mean that.”
“That’s not something you should say so casually!”
Adele bit her lip firmly. She had jokingly framed it as a bet, but last night there was no winner or loser—it was meaningless to even keep track.
One thing was certain: losing was winning.
And Killian had demonstrated that eternal truth with his whole body, without hesitation.
Whoever said the knights of St. Fidelio were all eunuchs was dead wrong.
It wasn’t that they were without desire—it was that God had gathered weapons in human form.
“I might not know much about such things, but… you had no problem at all!”
Killian approached with a cool smile, caging her in his arms. His whisper at her ear resonated low and deep.
“I never said I had a problem.”
Well… that was true.
Everything had started from her own excessive worries and prejudices. Still, it felt unfair to admit it so straightforwardly.
“Then… why did you stop partway through that time?”
“Were you disappointed?”
“Of course not—that’s not the point!”
His tender words, paired with the gentle stroke of her cheek, almost swayed her. She quickly pushed him away, but no matter how hard she tried, he didn’t budge.
His touch on her cheek was as delicate as if handling cotton candy, yet his body was unyielding.
“I didn’t know… no, it’s not just me. Everyone thinks that way. The knights of St. Fidelio hardly ever attend parties, never show up in entertainment districts…”
“That much is true.”
“And before marriage, not a single proper scandal ever broke out. People figured you must all simply have no interest in such things.”
Adele rambled excuses, shaking her head. She was afraid he’d think her some strange woman obsessed only with that.
“That’s why people assumed young men training to death on a mountaintop must be for that reason…”
“More accurately, it’s because we took an oath from the Archbishop.”
“…An oath? What kind of oath…?”
“An oath of chastity before marriage.”
“…”
When Adele’s jaw dropped, Killian traced her lips with his finger, amused.
His eyes were calm, but each little motion bound her in place.
“It’s a customary vow upon joining St. Fidelio.”
“B-but you didn’t really have to keep it, right…?”
“Should I not have kept it?”
Though by now, it was already too late.
Smiling, he took Adele’s hand from where she clutched the blanket. Perhaps a little more explanation was needed to thaw his frozen bride.
“Formality though it is, they say breaking it incurs God’s wrath. I wouldn’t care, but you’re different, Adele.”
“…What do you mean…?”
“I don’t want you tied up in anything impure, even slightly.”
Killian kissed her fingertips. In the room brimming with morning sunlight, the heat of last night returned as if unchanged.
“Whether it’s formality, ritual, or just empty words…”
“Ah…”
His lips moved slowly from her fingertips up her arm.
“No wrath of any kind can ever reach you, Adele.”
“Killian.”
…Was this what people meant by being moved?
Bewildered, Adele swept a hand over her now-heated forehead.
Wait.
So, the reason he had stopped that day wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough, or because he had “that kind” of problem, but…
“Are you that delighted?”
“…What?”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you smile so brightly.”
When did I…?
She tried to feign ignorance, but his lips were far too close. Unable to help herself, Adele leaned forward first.
…Oh, Lord above. Thank You. I’ve always believed, but I’ll believe even more from now on.
At last realizing the greatness of His will, Adele pressed a kiss against Killian’s lips.
Of course, it didn’t end there.
What began as a kiss to cover her laughter soon deepened as Killian joined in wholeheartedly, until everything blurred beyond sense.
“Adele, if you do this, you’ll be in trouble.”
“…What did I do?”
Their voices were both husky. Unsurprisingly, it was Killian who fell the deepest, drowning in her.
“I barely restrained myself last night. If you start this time, I won’t be able to…”
“…You… restrained yourself?”
Adele, melting into him, suddenly questioned it.
She wanted to ask when, exactly, he had held back—but one look at his eyes told her he wasn’t joking.
“Even for me, that kind of restraint doesn’t come easily, wife. Don’t test me first thing in the morning.”
“…Commander.”
“Not that I’d ever dislike it…”
As Adele swallowed her retort, he moved fully over her. His blue eyes, wavering between reason and instinct, slowly shifted to something else entirely.
He caught her slender wrists, pressing kisses up her neck, making her twist beneath him.
“I said I’d be careful since it was your first time.”
“K-Killian.”
“But if you think about it, your first was yesterday.”
With those words, Killian swept aside the blanket.
The truth Adele would have been better off not realizing—that once awakened, a man could be unstoppable—hit her all at once. She bit back a rising moan.
“Later… we can…”
“Young Lady! Are you awake?”
Killian’s lips, poised near her collarbone, stopped dead.
Startled, Adele bolted upright, and Killian steadied her waist so she wouldn’t hurt herself.
“That must be Jacqueline. What do we do?”
Adele shook her head toward the door.
Jacqueline wasn’t thoughtless. Even if it was late in the morning, no maid would dare knock on the newlyweds’ door.
The fact that she had come anyway meant…
“Your father must be looking for you.”
Killian seemed to reach the same conclusion. Already, he was up and pulling on a robe.
Even in the rush, the elegant way he dressed in his uniform made Adele stare blankly.
No doubt he was a commander of knights—but now, he was also her husband.
“…You stay here and rest. I’ll go.”
“Just you?”
“Most likely, he wishes to see me.”
Killian was as composed as ever. With only a robe thrown on, his usual chilly aura had already returned.
And yet, as if finding it difficult to leave her side, he sat back down at the edge of the bed.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, deliberately avoiding looking any lower, his effort almost desperate.
“If I was too rough with you…”
“N-no. We’re married now, so this is… it’s fine.”
Fearing he might feel guilty, Adele quickly waved her hand. If she showed discomfort, this overly principled man might restrain himself again—and that would only be her loss.
“We promised, didn’t we? To be honest and faithful to each other, as long as we’re married. This is part of that too.”
Killian didn’t look entirely satisfied with her answer, but there was no helping it. A contract was a contract.
Honestly, if they hadn’t established such rules, Adele herself might not have been able to control her own heart—so she deliberately kept things rigid.
If he turned out to be a better husband than expected, that would be wonderful. But her heart pounding so hard she could barely function in daily life—that was another matter.
Trying to seem unaffected, she gripped the blanket and nodded.
“I’m fine. Even if it’s a contract, if we get along, it’s a good thing.”
“Adele.”
“And I think we will. As long as you don’t deceive me.”
Killian’s expression darkened, but Adele didn’t notice. She simply gathered her courage and leaned her head on his shoulder.
It hadn’t started from love, but this life felt almost too lucky.
“…Not that you ever would, Commander.”
Even a contract marriage could feel this satisfying.
