CHAPTER03
– The Monster Noblewoman
Even now, I still couldn’t guess her true intentions for introducing me to them. No matter how saintly Lydia’s heart might be, unless her vision was truly flawed, she must have known that I looked like a monster. Could she really have been unaware of how someone like me—a grotesque thing—would impact the refined aesthetic sense of noble young men who had only ever seen the beautiful, the clean, and the elegant?
Really?
The moment they saw me, every single one of them grimaced as if they were crumpling up a sheet of paper. Their eyes stabbed into me with a mixture of shock, confusion, disgust, and curiosity. All five of them. The only difference was that some quickly composed their expressions, while others didn’t even bother trying.
With a radiant smile, Lydia clasped my hand—despite how far apart we were—and led me toward them. If I could have, I would’ve already shaken her off and run away. But Lydia was the only person I had. Abandoned by both my parents and my family, she was the sole source of comfort in my life. The thought of a life without her was unimaginable. Resisting her was simply not an option.
She introduced them to me, and me to them. I couldn’t lift my head the entire time she spoke. I tried to listen, but my mind went blank, and in the end, I didn’t register a single word she said.
To be honest, this whole introduction was meaningless. They had no interest in getting to know me, and I had no interest in getting to know them. They wouldn’t interact with me anyway. And sure enough, I was right. It wasn’t even a prediction at this point—it was a truth proven by countless experiences, never once disproven.
“The White family’s… young lady?”
One of the men, with green eyes, muttered as if he couldn’t believe it. In hindsight, his reaction was entirely understandable. After all, it wasn’t Lydia’s mother, but my own—Countess White—who had been the flower of high society in the previous generation. If Lydia was praised as possessing a “heavenly beauty” never before seen in the Empire’s history, my mother had a look that evoked the protective instincts of men, or so they said.
Everyone in the White family—except me—was exceptionally beautiful. I was the second daughter of the house, and rumors described me as a “sickly young lady,” so most people probably didn’t think much about my appearance. Maybe if I’d had a more average or even slightly unattractive face, I would’ve only been scorned—but not shunned.
“So the rumor about her being cursed wasn’t just gossip.”
Another man, with silver hair, adjusted his monocle and spoke. The icy blue of his eyes shimmered with clear disdain. Lydia, however, scolded him sharply.
“Eily is not cursed! She’s just been terribly ill, that’s all. I don’t care who you are—if you talk about her like that again, I won’t forgive you.”
She squeezed my hand tightly. Her small, delicate fingers wrapped around my swollen, fleshy hand made me feel like some kind of criminal. Judging from their expressions, the other noblemen clearly found even that gesture—Lydia holding hands with a “monster”—deeply offensive. The man with red hair and crimson eyes, in particular, looked like he wanted to kill me on the spot.
“I went too far.”
The man with the blue eyes bowed his head and apologized obediently. That he gave in so easily to Lydia’s scolding meant one thing—he was completely taken with her. Most likely, all five of them were.
This situation was painfully uncomfortable—beyond what words could describe. I wanted nothing more than to run back to my room and slam the door shut. But…
I didn’t want Lydia to abandon me.
If she left me, I’d be truly, utterly alone. I could vividly imagine myself crouched in total darkness, unable to see even an inch ahead. That fear—that horror—was the only and absolute reason I stayed.
Lydia, chattering like a songbird, eventually revealed why she had brought me here.
“It’s your coming-of-age ceremony, Eily—something that only happens once in a lifetime! You should enjoy it, at least today.”
She already knew I hadn’t been invited to the Imperial party. That was why she offered to take me to the festival held in the capital. She had said, smiling brightly, that she and the others used to sneak out to the festivals during their time at the academy. The noble heirs laughed and teased her, saying things like, “You totally cried when you got lost that one time, remember?” She turned red and swatted their hands away playfully.
It all felt unreal—like I was reading a novel, not living a moment right in front of me. I couldn’t focus on any of it. My head was spinning from the single fact that Lydia had asked me to go to a public festival. Did she really not understand what would happen if a monster like me walked around in broad daylight?
I was so tense my heart started pounding out of my chest. My clumsy voice cut into their cheerful conversation. It was like dropping a filthy stain onto a beautiful painting—sudden, cold silence followed.
“I—I…”
“……”
“I don’t want to go… to the festival.”
“……”
Anyone could tell I sounded like an idiot.
No matter how articulate I was in my head, I had rarely spoken out loud. Nobody ever wanted to talk to me. Even my own family believed I was not only hideous but mentally deficient. And since I’d never received a proper education, they weren’t entirely wrong to assume that.
Lydia smiled as if she understood all my fears perfectly.
“It’ll be fine if you wear a hood. You’ll be bored if you stay in the house all day. Let’s go out, just for today, get some fresh air—okay?”
If she truly understood how I felt, she never would’ve brought the noble heirs and tried to drag me out to a public festival on a day like today.
But in the end, I nodded. Lydia handed me a massive hooded cloak that was big enough to cover even my bulky frame. With trembling hands, I put it on and followed them.
As I approached, one of the noblemen who had been leaning against a wall furrowed his brow in irritation and whispered under his breath—quiet enough that only I could hear.
“Don’t defy Lydia. Just shut up and act like the monster you are.”
His eyes, such a dark black that they seemed to devour the light, bore into me before he turned his back. I flinched and lowered my head, but by then, he was already walking away. I stood frozen for a moment before slowly forcing my feet to move.
Ahead, Lydia was laughing and chatting with the others. She didn’t spare a glance for the “monster” who had once held her hand. Faced with her old academy friends, it was clear she had no space in her mind for someone like me.
“……”
We were standing at the mansion’s gate.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’d ever been beyond this point in my entire life. It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to go outside—my father had strictly forbidden it. But right now, he was away in another territory, and many of the servants were gone as well.
Maybe, just maybe… it would be okay, if only for a little while.
As long as I pretended to enjoy the festival, Lydia would be satisfied.
In truth, Lydia probably didn’t care whether I actually enjoyed it or not. She simply believed that if she was having fun, then everyone else must be too. I didn’t blame her for that. Her world was full of people desperate to please her. That was how she had grown up, and I knew her nature well enough to understand that.
I looked up at the sky. It was overflowing with stars, as if they might spill down at any moment. The sky was vast—so massive it took my breath away. I couldn’t even take it all in with my eyes.
Taking in the sight, I stepped forward.
The air outside felt completely different from the stale stillness of the mansion. The wind danced, flowing and alive.
Everything was alive.
Even this quiet night was brimming with vitality. The faint sounds of insects filled the air. I gazed at Lydia in silence.
So this is the world you live in.
