~Chapter 3~
Day by day passed quickly, and the night Elena prayed wouldn’t come finally arrived.
It was the night she was required to share a bed with him by the emperor’s order. Once a month. The only night a man would enter Elena’s bedroom. Faye did her best to wash and dress Elena prettily, but Elena already knew very well. The man wouldn’t come. And even if he did, she knew he wouldn’t touch her. He didn’t even touch her on their wedding night—why would it be any different on this forced night?
Watching Faye bustling around the room, cleaning the bed and preparing things on the bedside table, Elena felt guilty. And yet, seeing her working so hard for something that wouldn’t happen, a small, bitter laugh slipped out.
“Ma’am?”
Elena couldn’t hold back her laugh when she saw Faye’s confused face. How could Faye not know how her master looked at her? Elena knew it all too well.
“Just do it roughly. His Grace won’t be coming tonight.”
“Ma’am…”
“Even if he does, it’s not going to be what you think. So that’s enough. Go rest.”
“But still… I should stay with you—”
“Rest. You must be tired.”
At Elena’s firm tone, Faye stopped her busy movements and quietly left the room. Watching her leave, Elena closed her eyes. She didn’t want to do anything. Not love him, not miss him, not wait for him.
Humans were truly foolish. Knowing he had someone he loved, she still couldn’t stop her heart from leaning toward him. She hated the way he always called her by her name, and she loved the man who pretended to be gentle but didn’t love her at all. Her heart kept growing out of control.
Some days she missed him terribly, and some days she was happy because it felt like he cared. And then at night, lying alone in that huge, empty bed, she felt miserable all over again. Every illusion stabbed her like a sharp knife.
Knock, knock. Someone came in without waiting for her answer. Only two people would enter this room: Faye and him.
“Elena.”
“Welcome, Your Grace.”
“…”
He no longer forced her to call him by his name. He simply stared at her with those cold, hardened eyes. Sitting across from her, he glanced at the wine and snacks Faye had prepared, picked up the bottle, poured a glass, and handed it to her.
“Drink.”
“I can’t really handle alcohol…”
“Drink. Tonight, we’ll have our nuptial night. It’ll be difficult to do it sober. So drink.”
At his firm words, Elena hesitated but lifted the glass. The wine tasted sweet but also bitter. She finished the glass and set it down. The moment she did, he reached out and took her hand. His hand, colder than she expected, made her flinch. She hadn’t felt it at the wedding since he wore gloves.
“…Ha.”
He leaned in and kissed her. His lips were cold, like his hands. He pried her lips apart with his tongue. She had kissed before, but his kiss was unexpectedly rough. Did he hate kissing her that much? The thought stung her heart.
Sensing she couldn’t focus, he pulled back and whispered in her ear:
“Focus.”
Then he kissed her again. Holding her in his arms, he carried her to the bed. Carefully laying her down, he touched the ribbon on her shoulder. After looking at her for a long while, he finally spoke.
“It may hurt. I’ll try to be gentle. So… don’t push me away.”
Then he untied the ribbons. The silk dress slipped off easily. Seeing the slip underneath, he froze, staring at her exposed skin. After a long breath, he slowly slid the slip off her shoulders.
Tonight would be a difficult night.
Elena stared at the bright moonlight pouring in through the window and closed her eyes.
Footsteps. The door opening and closing.
She heard him leaving. Everything felt like a duty he was forced to fulfill, and once it was over, he left as if running away.
She had learned that the act between a man and woman hurt the woman much more. The first time was painful, and even afterward it hurt. But that wasn’t exactly true. The first moment he entered was agonizing, yes… but afterward, he was surprisingly gentle. His lips on her skin, his soft touches, made her breath hitch. She found herself growing excited from his kindness.
But it didn’t last. After moving roughly inside her and finishing, he immediately pulled away. Then, he wiped her body carefully with a towel… and left. Saying he’d send Faye soon.
She hated him for that. If he had just left without touching her afterward, it would’ve been miserable—yes—but it wouldn’t hurt her heart this much.
“Ma’am, it’s Faye. May I come in?”
Hearing the voice of the only person who cared for her in this place made tears suddenly spill out.
“Hic…”
“Ma’am?”
Faye entered carefully and, seeing Elena crying under the sheets, told her to rest for a bit while she prepared the bath. Elena nodded, trying to stop crying.
“Ma’am…”
“It’s fine… it was my first time, that’s all. I’m okay now.”
Faye helped her into the bath. The hot water made every muscle in her body scream. Faye washed her gently without asking anything, and Elena was grateful.
After washing, she returned to the bed. The sheets had already been changed. Faye explained she had the maids do it. Elena just nodded and lay down.
She wanted his warmth. Even the small moment of being held in his arms—she missed it.
Nothing changed the next day. He was still politely gentle on the surface, and Elena behaved normally too. Only the lingering ache in her body reminded her of the night before.
“Are you… feeling alright?”
He spoke suddenly. Elena paused with her fork in the air and looked at him. He looked so worried. Probably because the attendants were watching. Even so, she craved even that shallow kindness.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
That was all she could say. Her waist still throbbed faintly, but she hid it. Even if she said she was in pain, there was nothing he could do.
“The emperor has ordered that you come greet him soon. Once you’re recovered, we must present you.”
“Yes, I will prepare.”
“Your appetite is still poor.”
“Oh… I’ll try to eat more.”
The awkward breakfast ended, and Elena went back to her room. She wanted to take a walk in the warm sunlight, but her body still hurt too much.
She lay sideways on the sofa with a warm towel Faye placed on her waist, reading a book. Then she suddenly wanted to look outside. Groaning, she got up and went to the window.
“…”
There he was, walking in the garden. Seeing him made her heart flutter for a moment—until a blonde woman walked up beside him. Helena.
Of course, there were guards behind them, and they were probably just on their way to the training grounds. But none of that mattered.
All she could see was how well Helena matched him. How she talked nonstop. How he listened to her.
Warm sunlight, blooming flowers, the perfect pair walking together.
And the woman who stood between them—her.
Elena tore her gaze away and lay back on the bed. She was so, so tired.
***
“Ma’am?”
“Oh… I must’ve fallen asleep. What time is it?”
“It’s already four. Should I bring you something light before dinner? You slept so deeply at lunch that I couldn’t wake you.”
“I’m fine. Instead, let’s have dinner early today. And tell His Grace I’ll take dinner in my room.”
As Elena drank the water Faye gave her, Faye stiffened for a moment but nodded and left. Elena didn’t think much of it, assuming she was preparing the meal.
Knock, knock.
“Come in.”
But it wasn’t Faye. It was him.
“My lady, I heard you wish to dine in your room today.”
“Oh… I’m not feeling well. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. Are you very unwell?”
“Just a bit of muscle pain.”
“I’ll call the physician.”
Elena panicked. If the doctor examined her, he would know she lied.
“No, I just need a little rest—”
“Get a check-up. You weren’t healthy to begin with. We should’ve postponed the consummation.”
“It was the emperor’s order. How could we delay it?”
Knock, knock. Faye’s voice came from outside. As soon as Elena said “come in,” Faye entered, pushing a large tray.
“What is that?”
“His Grace ordered me to bring food for you, ma’am.”
Lifting the cloth, all kinds of dishes appeared.
“T-that’s too much…”
Elena glanced at him nervously. There were so many dishes—too many.
“I’ve been watching what you eat. These are foods that go down easily and are good for digestion. Eat little by little.”
“Thank you.”
Faye began placing the dishes on the table one by one. Soon the entire table was full.
He still didn’t leave.
“Your Grace?”
“…I think I’ll have dinner here as well tonight.”
“…What?”
