FTLN

4.

Idis lay down on the bedding she had prepared earlier.

Even though the knights had laid out their own cloths for her, she could still feel the hardness of the ground beneath her. Her back ached, yet sleep came crashing over her so heavily that she could barely think.

Still, she could not fall asleep for a long time.

Anxiety pressed heavily against her chest, too suffocating to let her drift off—yet her body was far too exhausted to remain fully awake.

As if that were not enough, the chill rising from the ground seeped into her entire body. It was early spring, when the cold had yet to fully fade. Without a fire, it was difficult to maintain warmth.

Her lips trembled.

After tossing and turning several times, a warm weight settled over her shoulders.

Someone had given up their robe.

Idis forced her heavy eyelids open—and saw Ian lying right in front of her.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve lain side by side like this.”

Ian whispered softly.

Some distance away, Karl shifted his position, giving them space as he kept watch.

“It’s only because I was following proper etiquette.”

“You don’t even speak to me casually like you used to.”

“….”

He hadn’t even given her a chance to reply before prompting her again.

As if conceding, Idis finally spoke.

“…It wasn’t because I disliked you.”

“I know. It was the day Father caught you following me to the training grounds again.”

* * *

Since childhood, Idis often followed Ian to the training grounds.

It was a lively place, filled with the scent of sweat and the sound of shouted commands.

At some point, after watching the knights closely, she began pestering him.

It was the season when tender buds turned into deep green leaves.

“Brother, I want to learn the sword too. Please teach me.”

“Idis, Father will scold us if he finds out. Princesses don’t learn swordsmanship.”

“But the Pallerion envoys who came last time had female knights. It’s not forbidden in Luhaim, is it? Please?”

“What if you get hurt? What if it leaves a scar?”

“You’ll protect me before that happens, won’t you?”

Ian tried every excuse to dissuade her—

but he always lost in the end.

“…Alright. Starting tomorrow, come to the training grounds before dawn.”

“It’s a promise!”

She was so excited that the very next day, she found clothes that fit her perfectly—a tunic and trousers—and waited for him at the training grounds with a bright smile.

“Your Highness, do you truly intend to teach the princess swordsmanship?”

“Who could possibly stop that stubbornness? In a few years, she’ll be of age anyway. Let her do as she wishes for now. She’ll quit once it gets too hard.”

“I have a feeling she’ll last longer than you think.”

“Karl, you know my sister—she’s just as quick to lose interest as she is willful. I’ll bet she gives up in three days.”

“Then I’ll wager she lasts at least three months.”

Ian had taken it lightly.

But Idis was serious.

Even when made to run laps to build stamina, she never complained.

No matter how many times the knights overtook her, she continued running at her own pace.

The pain in her lungs, the thrill in her veins—

it was proof she was truly alive.

At first, the knights thought it was mere curiosity.

But as she came every day, their gazes gradually filled with respect.

“It’s already been a month. It’s admirable how hard the princess works. At this rate, she might even grow taller than you, Your Highness.”

“I’m only shorter because I was born two months earlier. No need to show off—I admit defeat.”

“Would I dare? Didn’t you expect this when you asked me?”

“I can’t deny it. By the way, is it finished already? That was quick.”

“The craftsman put considerable effort into it. Here—the sword you requested.”

Karl produced a small dagger from his coat.

It was beautifully crafted, adorned with delicate engravings and gemstones.

Seeing the amethyst set in the hilt, Ian smiled in satisfaction.

“Good. It’s light and fits well in the hand. It will suit Idis—and it’s beautiful enough for her.”

“It’s still quite sharp. Perfect for self-defense.”

“If that’s the case, I’d prefer she never has to use it.”

But the gift never reached Idis.

“Idis! Do you not know moderation? What is the meaning of this disgraceful appearance?!”

The imperial palace had many eyes—and just as many tongues.

When Calix III heard that the princess had been visiting the training grounds daily, he was furious.

It was just as Idis had begun learning the basics.

“Father, I wish to learn swordsmanship and military strategy. I will not neglect my etiquette or studies. I will not disappoint you.”

“Disappoint? You speak of disappointment? It is your actions that disappoint me.”

The Emperor loved his only daughter dearly.

But he greatly disapproved of her following Ian and acting as she pleased.

In the Luhaim Empire, though no law explicitly stated it, the roles of men and women were clearly divided.

A man doing household chores was seen as disgraceful.

A woman working outside was considered coarse and improper.

Idis could never understand it.

Yet others believed her actions were unbecoming of her status.

Learning the sword was no exception.

“Know your place. What princess mingles with men in such a manner?”

“But Father, in Rahan and the Pallerion Alliance, women can become knights. Even the Evernas Knight Order that visited—”

“Idis! It seems you must relearn your manners from the beginning. Raising your voice over trivial matters! Uphold the dignity of the Empire!”

“…My apologies, Your Majesty.”

A month of effort—

ended with a single command.

After that, Idis no longer followed Ian.

Nor did she try to imitate him.

Her bright laughter disappeared overnight.

She simply dressed beautifully, sat quietly, and smiled politely.

Her radiant silver hair and pale skin lost their vitality.

Only those within the imperial family were pleased—

believing the princess had finally matured.

* * *

“After that day, you became the perfect princess. Father may have been reassured—but I wasn’t.”

“I’ll be of age next year. It’s time I learned proper conduct.”

“It doesn’t suit you at all.”

Idis let out a faint laugh.

In a strange way, she was grateful for the darkness and cold—they concealed the trembling that still lingered within her.

What did it matter whether it suited her?

Ian did not know how many nights she had cried before finally accepting reality.

Had he known, he would have blamed himself.

But even then—

nothing would have changed.

Born into the imperial family, it was a bond she could not escape.

As her heart gradually broke, so too did her expectations for the future.

To Idis, the palace had been a gilded cage.

“There were so many things I wanted to do when I was young… Now I understand. You can’t have everything you want. If you wish to enjoy what you’re given, you must also accept the duties and responsibilities that come with it. I just realized it too late.”

“You’re still young. I should have tried harder to persuade Father back then… I’m sorry.”

“No. It wasn’t your fault…”

Her voice trailed off.

Even if it wasn’t anyone’s fault, someone had to suffer.

For five hundred years, no one had succeeded in changing such traditions.

Old beliefs, deeply rooted in people’s lives and minds, were not easily uprooted.

Others must have tried—

only to fail or give up, just as she once had.

The cold wind brushed against her nose again.

Ian spoke gently.

“Idis, do you remember when we went to Schurt Hill together?”

“How could I forget?”