Chapter 43
Watching Roil still a little dazed, Erika resumed walking. As Erika started moving, Roil glanced once at the mansion’s windows and walked alongside her.
“You don’t have to feel so sorry. Honestly, everyone already knew that I liked you and that you didn’t like me romantically. You knew it, I knew it.”
Roil turned his head to look at Erika, but she was still looking straight ahead. Unsure of what to say, he decided to stay silent. Opening his mouth unnecessarily might hurt his friend more, so remaining quiet seemed wiser.
“You’ve always seemed amazing to me since we were kids. What made you seem so amazing? I don’t even know. You were just handsome, smart, good at swordsmanship, kind… everything you did seemed great and impressive. Even the way you sliced steak neatly with a knife looked amazing,” Erika said, laughing a little at herself.
Roil felt a small relief at her laughter, thinking she hadn’t been as hurt as he had feared.
“I wanted to become a cool woman too, so I could confess to you. I always thought that way. You know my dad is a bit strict about education, right? Even while being worn out by private tutors, I kept practicing for awards and learning proper horseback riding. I tried to look nice in various ways. I thought I was putting in effort, but I still felt a bit insecure in front of you.”
Erika let out a small sigh.
“Erika, it’s not that I see you only as a friend because you’re inadequate or not good at something,” Roil said gently.
Erika nodded.
“I know. But… confidence isn’t something you can fill just by knowing it intellectually, right? Anyway, during that time, I made a contract with a sylph. The sylph was so beautiful and fascinating that I thought, since I became a spirit mage—rare in the Empire—maybe you would see me differently.”
“That’s right. It’s really cool. I’m proud of you. Because you’re my friend.”
Roil stopped walking, and Erika stopped as well.
“But even before you became a spirit mage, you were a cool and proud friend of mine, Erika. I—and all our other friends—care for you a lot and love you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. The kind of love I hoped for from you was a bit different, though.”
Erika looked Roil straight in the eyes, and he didn’t look away.
“When I said those words today, it wasn’t out of a thought like, ‘Now that I’m a spirit mage, of course you’ll fall for me.’”
Roil nodded as if he understood.
“I knew you wouldn’t return my feelings anyway. Before, I thought I couldn’t bear being rejected by you because your rejection meant so much to me. But now, I have other things I like and can focus on. I feel like I can handle your rejection myself. And I should grow up a bit too. Isn’t it enough for a first love to last this long?”
Erika smiled slyly. He was glad she hadn’t been hurt or cried, but he still felt sorry for even that smile.
“Thank you. I’m sorry. And I really think you’re an amazing person.”
“Stop apologizing. And even if you fall for me now, I won’t accept it,” Erika said playfully, lifting her head and tilting her nose.
“You’re going to the training ground, right? I’ll go rest a bit more.”
“Yeah. Lian and Santuke are probably there already.”
“Okay. Then see you at the dining hall later.”
Erika turned with a smile.
As soon as she turned, tears streamed down her face. Afraid they’d show, she couldn’t wipe them, trying to keep her steps straight and steady until the path curved. As soon as it did, she crouched down and buried her head in her knees.
“Won’t accept even if I fall for him, my foot… What nonsense,” Erika muttered to herself, struggling to resist collapsing entirely. She staggered back to her feet, knowing Roil would soon pass by.
“I’ll go to my room and cry. Cry and sort myself out.”
Roil walked slowly behind Erika. It seemed she no longer wanted to walk together, so he gave her some distance.
After a short walk, Roil stopped abruptly. At the curved path where Erika had disappeared, the hem of her dress peeked out. She had probably collapsed to the ground.
He debated whether to go help or leave her alone, eventually deciding to wait where he was.
Standing still, his gaze wandered to the Note Mansion in the distance.
‘That’s roughly Eli’s room.’
The window of Ellen’s room still had the curtains drawn. She probably hadn’t woken up yet.
Roil recalled Erika’s words:
“You’ve always seemed amazing to me since we were kids.”
“I thought I was putting in effort, but I still felt a bit insecure in front of you.”
He could relate to those words countless times over. It reminded him of Eunho’s feelings for Hyesuh.
✿ ✿ ✿
Eunho wasn’t particularly good at or fond of studying. On the contrary, his grades were below average, disappointing his parents when the report cards arrived. He only started studying seriously after Hyesuh ranked third in the school during the midterm of 2nd year, 2nd semester.
“Eunho, Eunho, Eunho!”
When Eunho’s mother found out about the label from Hyesuh’s house, she demanded Eunho hand over the hidden label from his uniform pocket. Holding it, she pinched her forehead.
“This… is this your grade? This is your grade?”
Eunho scratched his butt, waiting for the storm of scolding to pass.
“You should’ve done this when I said to study together with Hyesuh. Hyesuh got third in the school this time.”
Eunho perked up at those words. Though his mom continued nagging, it barely registered.
Once the scolding ended, Eunho headed straight to Hyesuh’s house. Her room on the second floor was unusually open.
“You did well on your grades this time, right?” he asked. Hyesuh, lying on the bed playing on her phone, sat up.
“Ah, you’re here?”
“Yeah. Playing a game?”
Hyesuh glanced at him and returned her attention to her phone.
From his seat at the desk, Eunho noticed her label.
“Third in school, huh?”
He knew Hyesuh was good at studying, but not this good. He alternated his gaze between her and the label, surprised.
“Yeah,” she said, putting down her phone.
“When I was doing tutoring homework like crazy over summer break, I wondered why I was even doing this. But seeing my grades improve, it felt worth it. I hope these grades last through senior year!”
Eunho stretched and quietly admired Hyesuh.
Back home, he immediately sought his mother.
“Mom! Mom! I want tutoring!”
His mom, searching in the utility room, brightened.
“Really? Do you want to study with Hyesuh, or separately?”
“Not together. I’ll do it separately.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll arrange it right away.”
That’s when Eunho truly began studying.
He wrestled with books he had no interest in. Sometimes he got distracted by games or stayed up late with friends, but he always returned to studying the next day.
Even when he first heard Hyesuh had ranked third, he felt little.
“Hyesuh’s impressive. She really got caught up over summer break.”
But when she said, “I hope these grades last through senior year!”, Eunho snapped to attention. His thought:
‘I have to go to the same school as her.’
Same kindergarten, same elementary, same middle school. He assumed they’d continue together in high school and college. Naturally, without proof.
‘But that’s not necessarily true. High schools are random, and college depends on grades.’
His pupils trembled.
“Congratulations. I should head home.”
Hyesuh stared in confusion as Eunho vanished like the wind.
‘What’s up with him?’
✿ ✿ ✿
Roil, staring out the window, was still unfocused. The sound of hooves snapped him back. Simultaneously, he realized the whistling had stopped—he’d been whistling absentmindedly.
The scenery of Note Manor finally registered. Completely different from Korea, it made him smile wryly.
‘I studied so hard trying to get grades like Hyesuh.’
Though his basic skills weren’t strong, Eunho had struggled immensely to reach Hyesuh-level grades. Initially, small efforts yielded quick rank improvements, but eventually, he stagnated.
Three years of hard work. From second year, he started getting grades similar to Hyesuh’s.
‘It was brutal.’
Yet, all that effort was pointless. He died before even stepping onto a college campus and ended up in this world. Perhaps the heavens took pity, placing him beside Hyesuh—now Eli.
‘But what was I thinking again?’
Recalling his grueling study in Korea, he remembered.
‘Ah, right. Erika.’
He felt sorry for Erika. He should have handled her feelings seriously instead of playfully accepting them as childish whims. He should have firmly rejected her. Then she wouldn’t have spent so much time worrying alone.
He also worried about how Eli would view this. He hoped Eli wouldn’t push him away because of someone she liked.
Honestly, even when he heard Erika’s confession in the Note Manor garden, he was more concerned about Eli than Erika. He kept reminding himself to focus on Erika and not glance toward Eli’s room. Though it pained him, he had to.
Roil banged his head against the carriage window. Erika said she’d remain friends, but was that truly okay? Would it hurt her more?
He didn’t want to lose a friend. He didn’t know how to act around Erika.
Ugh.
He hit the window again—this time with a louder thud.
Adrian and Santuke, sitting across, were startled, looked at him, then shook their heads.
“He’s getting weirder.”
“Yeah, I shouldn’t sit next to him for a while.”
