Chapter 5
“Haela, I ran here as soon as I finished my administrative duties after hearing that you woke up. Are you feeling alright?”
Kersian approached without hesitation and caressed Haela’s face. He rubbed the corner of her eye with a warm thumb. Matching her gaze from inches away, he asked in a gentle voice, “Why were you crying?”
His features, which possessed a certain sharpness, were the same as in her memory, yet he looked more like a noble young lord than a young monarch. Originally, he was a person who shone with nobility, like a cold and elegant moon. But now, seeing that same face, Haela felt goosebumps instead of admiration or fluttering excitement.
“Leave. Right now,” Haela said in a trembling voice.
Kersian was puzzled because her voice was laced with anxiety and fear.
“Your Grace?”
Marlin, who had returned at that moment, quickly assessed the situation and said, “It seems the Madam has had a nightmare. It would be best to give her time to stabilize herself.”
“I’m worried, so I’ll wait in front of the door until you calm down.”
Kersian went outside with a reluctant face. Haela did not respond; she simply glared at his retreating back with eyes full of vigilance, not blinking once until the door was completely closed. Only after the door was shut did she pull her gaze away. However, her heart was still beating like crazy.
Haela hurriedly washed her face with cold water. Afterward, her swollen face calmed down a bit. But her mind was still cloudy, as if filled with thick fog. She stayed dazed like that for a long time, and when she looked at the clock, two hours had already passed.
After staring out the window for a moment, Haela opened the door with a determined face. As he had said, he was waiting there. Seeing Haela, Kersian asked with a worried face. Haela stopped for a moment, then quieted her footsteps and approached a little closer.
The surroundings were very dark, and the two people were so absorbed in each other that they didn’t seem to think anyone would be watching them in the darkness. On a table, the orange glow of a lamp illuminated the extravagant gold embroidery on their sleeves. The jewels sewn into the fabric sparkled in the dark as they caught the light. In the faint moonlight, she saw red hair waving like ripples over shoulders as white and round as the moon, and Kersian’s face buried in those shoulders.
Haela looked up at the sky. Today was a new moon, so there were almost no stars in the sky and a weak breeze blew. The woman’s coquettish laughter that had been heard in the silent darkness soon turned into moans.
Haela clenched her fists so hard that her knuckles turned white. It was exactly the same as back then. Not even a week had passed since the ceremony. The man who had whispered love to her so sweetly during the day was having a secret meeting with another woman at night.
“Ha…”
A hollow laugh escaped her. What on earth had she wanted to confirm? Her heart had already rotted away long ago. She felt pathetic for coming here. Even though the situation had changed, Uriel had visited the Duke’s mansion, called Kersian to the greenhouse, and shared their love there. She was acting out of spite because she was unhappy with his marriage. And Kersian was letting it slide while knowing exactly what she was doing.
In her previous life, Haela felt that Kersian’s attitude had become strangely formal just one day after the wedding. After worrying for several days, she went to find him to ask about the events of the previous day, but Kersian was neither in the bedroom nor the office. After accidentally seeing a carriage engraved with the crest of the Betia Count family on the first floor, she became even more anxious, searched for him, and saw the same sight as now.
Haela looked at the two of them with a cold gaze and then turned away. Her tightly closed lips trembled. Now that even the single shred of hope—that this might have been a dream—was shattered, it felt as if she had truly woken up from a deep sleep.
Returning to her room, Haela changed into her pajamas and sat on the bed, looking out the window. Perhaps it was going to rain, as clouds had hidden the moon and the sky was completely dark.
***
“Are you feeling more settled now? If there is something you are angry about with me, please tell me.”
At those words, Haela’s eyes grew red again. Kersian always reacted generously like this to her matters. Because of that, she had never doubted that he loved her. However, because her previous memories had returned, his handsome face full of worry looked unnatural, as if it were made of pure hypocrisy.
“Do you remember the vow you made on our wedding day?”
At Haela’s sudden question, Kersian made a subtle expression. But he soon spoke as if it were nothing.
“Of course I remember. I said I would cherish you more than myself, love you for a lifetime, and protect you. Is that answer still valid?”
“Of course. It will remain valid as long as I am alive.”
There was not a hint of hesitation in his answer. Haela sneered inwardly.
“Are you still not going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I just had a nightmare.”
“I’ll stay with you today, so don’t worry. If it seems like you’re having a nightmare, I’ll wake you up right away.”
When Kersian tried to embrace her, Haela froze. When she said she wanted to rest alone, he left after a moment, but the feeling from earlier kept coming back to her, making her stomach churn. It felt as if insects were crawling all over her body.
After sending even Marlin away, Haela looked out the window and met the moon’s gaze. After admiring the moon for a while, something suddenly flashed through her mind. She hurriedly put down her comb and put on a coat. It was already dark outside and a time when the servants would be asleep, but she quietly slipped out of her room without even a lamp.
It had been about a month since she arrived here, and there were still places she hadn’t looked around. However, Haela moved her steps with great familiarity. The place where her steps stopped was the greenhouse. Haela did not go inside but stood still, looking that way.
Inside the glass greenhouse, two shadows were visible. It was a very tall man and a woman with a curvy figure. They had placed a lamp on a table a short distance away and were kissing passionately while holding each other.
***
The next day, Haela gave an order to Marlin.
“Call the young lady of the Betia Count family around lunchtime. Tell her that I wish to see her personally.”
“Madam, what are you planning to do?”
“If I let it slide as if nothing happened after she caused such a scene, how lightly will people look at me?”
Haela’s face was full of coldness. In the past, she had just listened to Kersian’s words and endured it without questioning. Because Uriel had faced no consequences after causing that disturbance at the wedding, it had served as confirmation to everyone of Kersian’s favor toward her. And Haela had become a trivial person who could do nothing even when openly insulted by a mere daughter of a Count.
No matter how much she endured, they would never be satisfied.
“Thinking about my future life here, I cannot let such a thing go.”
“If that is your wish, I understand.”
When it was time, Haela headed to the first floor. Kersian was there.
“Haela, why did you come down instead of sleeping more?”
“I just woke up early. Are you heading out now?”
“I’ll probably be late.”
He had a kind face, but his gaze was cold and full of annoyance.
“I see.”
Kersian was about to leave but stopped to ask one thing.
“Did you get some sleep? Your complexion doesn’t look good.”
Haela looked at him at those words. It was natural since she hadn’t slept a wink all night. Conversely, Kersian’s face was as bright as a full moon. Seeing his face made her feel nauseous as the scene from the previous night came to mind. However, she wasn’t as angry or disappointed as the day she first saw it.
“It’s because I had a bad dream again.”
“I’m curious what kind of dream it was. May I ask?”
“In the dream, you abandoned me and went to another woman.”
At those words, the smile that had been on Kersian’s face in front of Haela disappeared for the first time.
“There’s no way such a thing would happen. I love you this much.”
Kersian spoke again with a smiling face. However, that smile was more unnatural than before.
“Who was that woman I saw on the wedding day? You two seemed close.”
“Her name is Uriel, the daughter of the Betia Count family. Since her parents passed away early, she has been close to the people of the Betia family. Like family.”
“……”
“She’s been very jealous and mischievous since she was young, but her prank that day was excessive. I’ve already scolded her appropriately, so there’s no need to worry about it.”
People mistakenly thought Haela had collapsed because she was shocked to see Uriel at the wedding. Even so, for him to give such a half-hearted excuse… wasn’t it even more insincere than before? He was probably blaming her for ruining the wedding. Even so, trying to end the situation with a single sentence saying there was no need to worry would be difficult for any woman to accept.
Kersian’s smile felt distant unlike before, and instead of kindness, a strong sense of pressure was felt. However, he didn’t feel as scary as he did during the time he was Emperor.
“I know.”
Haela nodded with an indifferent face. Kersian raised an eyebrow.
“You know?”
“Actually, I was concerned, so I asked the servants, and they said you were like siblings who grew up interacting since childhood.”
This was the same excuse the people of the Duchy had given to Haela in her past life when she tried to keep Uriel in check. With that excuse, Uriel had freely entered and exited the Duke’s mansion, and Haela had endured it even after seeing it. Thinking back, it was incredibly foolish.
“Kersian, it was just a dream, but my heart is heavy because I feel like I insulted you.”
Unlike her frowning face, a dry, monotonous voice flowed from her mouth.
“You aren’t the kind of person who would betray trust so easily… right?”
