Chapter 50

“Ah… sorry.”

She released the tension in her hands and removed the tape measure from his neck.

He rubbed his neck with one hand and muttered in a subdued tone,

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“No, it’s not like that…”

“Use your words. Don’t strangle people.”

Seonghun brushed it off with his usual humor.

A sigh hovered on her lips—perhaps from relief, or maybe from the tension that still clung to her trembling breath.

Hoping to lighten the mood, she asked casually,

“Your next project started filming, right? The schedule must be brutal? Your jawline got way too sharp.”

She fiddled with a pen on the desk, trying to distract herself from the tension.

“It’s not that packed. There are just a lot of actors.”

His voice, as dry as his words.

She was the one trying to create distance…
Then why did his distant tone and expression make her feel so small and sad?

“That’s good to hear.”

Their exchange felt rigid, formal—like two strangers exchanging pleasantries.

Why did this unfamiliar air feel so hollow and sad?

“Stand up again.”

She hurriedly wrapped the tape around his body. She wanted to flee from this sadness as quickly as possible.

“All done.”

Until the very end, Seonghun stayed silent and let her finish without a word.

Was she the only one suffocating in this awkwardness?

This was the first time things felt so tense and unfamiliar between them. It was stifling.

“I’m going.”

Without knowing how suffocating and helpless she felt, Seonghun left with the same calm demeanor.

Click.

She was the one who asked for time apart. She knew she shouldn’t cross boundaries.

But now, standing before the tightly shut door, watching his back disappear—

She was overwhelmed with anger.

“Damn it. Idiot. You big dummy, Lee Seonghun.”

Even cursing didn’t help. So she flung the door open and shouted:

“Hey! Lee Seonghun!”

…She didn’t expect him to be standing right there.

He was looming by the doorframe, tall and unshakable.

Under the LED lights, shadows danced across his face, making it impossible to read his emotions.

Why was he still standing there? Was he expecting her to call out?

“Wait. Come back inside. There’s something I forgot.”

She pretended she still had unfinished business, conscious of the nearby staff.
Click. He stepped back into the cramped space.

“You… you…”

What should she say?
Why are you so cold to me? Why do you act like we’re strangers? Why do you make me feel so hurt?

But those selfish thoughts stayed locked behind her bitten lips.

She was the one who asked for space. She broke up with him.
How could she be upset that he was being distant now?

And yet—what if he had really moved on? What if his feelings were truly gone?

“Hey… are you really going to be like this?”

Startled by her outburst, Seonghun looked at her blankly. And her emotions surged.

“Haa… I know I’m being selfish. I know I’m an awful person. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend everything’s fine.
I hate this. I hate being distant from you. I’m scared. I’m sad. This is just… too hard.”

God. I’m such a mess.

Her feelings poured out. Then came the tears—hot, unstoppable sobs like a child scolded by their mother.

She felt ridiculous. Embarrassed. But the tears kept falling like a broken faucet.

“Shit… damn it. I didn’t want to cry. Damn it… am I crazy?”

Seonghun said nothing. He just stared at her gently.

If he stayed cold even in the face of her tears, she’d feel even worse.

But she couldn’t cry anymore. If he didn’t respond, her sobs would just seem like childish whining.

Taking a deep breath, she offered a simple, honest word.

“…Sorry.”

Showing weakness in front of him was selfish, she knew.

“Are you done crying?”

Only then did he finally speak.

That single question made her want to cry all over again. But she held it in.

“No. I want to cry more, but I’m holding it back. Because I can’t keep being selfish.”

“I’m holding back too. But I want to be selfish.”

Do you want to cry too?

She stared at him, unsure of what he meant.
There was something like a faint smile behind his eyes—not tears.

Was he mocking her?

“Hah. Then go ahead. Be selfish too.”

“Are you sure?”

She met his gaze defiantly and nodded. She had cried her heart out already—he could do what he wanted.

Suddenly, his hand reached for her face. Her heart shrank in panic—but he gently brushed his fingers across her cheek.

She didn’t resist. She couldn’t.

His warm fingers wiped away her tears.

She didn’t question him. Didn’t fight back. It felt like… she’d been waiting for this touch.

Like a puppy welcoming the hand of its beloved owner.

While gently stroking her face, Seonghun asked,

“Can I keep going?”

“…Huh?”

“Being selfish. Not holding back.”

“…How?”

Was she… hoping it would be something warm? Something gentle?

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while now.”

“…Something weird?”

He didn’t answer. He just stepped closer—and pinched her cheeks.

“Ow! Hey!”

Startled by the unexpected pain, she fumbled with her words, cheeks still squished.

“W-what are you doing?”

“You’re annoying.”

“What?”

“So annoying I could die. You keep shaking up someone who was just standing still.”

His fingers, which had briefly released her, now squeezed her cheeks again—this time pressing her lips together.

Still holding her scrunched face, she grabbed his wrists and mumbled,

“Ah, I’b zorry, I’b—leeb me go.”

She couldn’t even speak properly through puckered lips.

And then, suddenly, Seonghun’s face came down close—right in front of hers.

Stop attacking my face, damn it.

His hands eventually released her, but his gaze remained fixed on her.

That look… made her blush instantly. Heat rushed up her face, burning her cheeks.

Still, she couldn’t pull away. She was trapped in his eyes.

“Why… why do you keep attacking my face?”

She knew. It was his weakness. The one thing she could always use against him.

Whenever he looked at her face, his eyes would always tremble with vulnerability.

She wanted to devour every droplet of that emotion clinging to his clear irises.

She had held herself back all day. Removed emotion. Avoided showing anything.

Because she was afraid—afraid he’d find her feelings burdensome.

Afraid he’d be repelled by what still remained inside her.

But if you cry now… I’ll lose control.

I’ve endured. I’ve held it in. I’ve buried everything.
But if you break down now, if you cry… I’ll explode.

“I’m going to do what I want now. I won’t hold back. I’m going to be selfish.”