Chapter 46 …
[I usually try not to call, but seeing your mother’s symptoms getting worse, I think you need to know now. As you know, depression isn’t something that can be cured by hiding it. I thought it would be useless to tell your father, so I’m contacting you. Can you come down?]
Aunt’s cautious voice carried the hope that she would come.
Yeon-ha answered that she understood and hung up. She sat there blankly for a few seconds after ending the call.
Her mother’s depression had hit her like a shock.
Not for a year, but for ten years.
Regret gnawed at her for not noticing at all, and anger welled up at the fact that her mother had hidden everything to protect her.
Shock, anger, and self-reproach all came at once. Her vision seemed to blur.
If her mother had been hospitalized, it must be serious. Why did she hide it until it reached that point?
No matter how much her mother had told her not to say anything, her aunt should have told her. If she had…
‘Would it have made a difference?’
Yeon-ha had no answer.
Just as her parents had done before, she had also kept a distant relationship with her mother.
She hardly visited except for holidays and birthdays, and even phone calls were limited to the bare minimum of once a month. Even then, it was mostly just checking in before hanging up.
‘What could someone like me do for a mother suffering from depression?’
Yeon-ha touched her feverish forehead. If she had paid a little more attention, maybe her mother would have been slightly less burdened over the years. The reality that she couldn’t turn back time weighed on her chest.
Hands trembling, Yeon-ha put down her phone and patted her chest as she took a deep breath.
But the more she breathed, the heavier her emotions pressed down on her.
The next day, Yeon-ha took a day off and went to her parents’ home.
Her chest felt tight the entire way to the hospital. She sighed as she watched the scenery pass by outside the car window.
When she arrived at the hospital room, her aunt, who was standing by the door, came forward.
“Go in.”
Yeon-ha quietly opened the door. She stopped in her tracks when she saw her mother lying on the bed.
Whether it was the hospital gown or her paler-than-usual face, her mother looked small, fragile. Seeing her so weak pierced Yeon-ha’s heart.
“Mom.”
Her voice came out faint and trembling.
“…How did you find out I was here?”
Her mother, who had been staring blankly at the TV, noticed Yeon-ha’s presence and widened her eyes.
“I got a call from Aunt.”
“I specifically told her not to say anything.”
Her mother’s voice was weak, yet it carried a sharp edge.
“It’s not a deadly disease, so don’t worry about it.”
Yeon-ha bit her lip. Frustration and helplessness surged together, making her stomach churn.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve had depression for ten years, right?”
“What would it do to tell you? What good would it do?”
Her mother answered curtly.
Yeon-ha felt the emotions she had been suppressing about to burst out at her mother’s indifferent tone, as if it were someone else’s problem.
“You still should have told me. I’m your daughter… How could you expect me not to know you’re sick?”
“When have you ever cared about me? Just go on like you always do.”
Yeon-ha squeezed her eyes shut.
“…Then should I just go?”
“What?”
“You said to go on like I always do.”
Her mother looked at her in disbelief, then exasperation.
“Fine! Go! I don’t need you or your father!”
The air seemed to freeze for a moment.
Her mother had often said things like this, but today it struck deeply into Yeon-ha’s chest.
“If you don’t need me, why call? Why look for Dad who left home, why send me side dishes? You don’t have to care whether I eat or not, wherever I go.”
Yeon-ha couldn’t stop the flood of emotions.
Even though she knew she shouldn’t lash out at her sick mother, the feelings she had been holding in for years erupted uncontrollably.
“Then should I just ignore my own family?”
Her mother’s voice rose.
“Are we even a family?”
“If we’re not family, then what are we? Are we strangers?”
Her mother looked at her as if she had said something ridiculous.
Yeon-ha gave a bitter smile.
“I’d rather be strangers.”
“What?”
Her mother’s face hardened.
Yeon-ha took a deep breath. She decided it was time to speak.
“Mom… I’ve never been happy living in the Dujung-dong house.”
Her mother’s face froze in shock.
“What… what is she saying?”
Yeon-ha continued slowly.
“I didn’t want to come home from school.”
The cold, empty house. Her mother’s deep sigh.
“So I’d spend time in the empty playground after everyone went home, and only go in when it got dark.”
“Are you blaming me for that?”
Her mother’s eyes wavered. Yeon-ha swallowed the tears welling up.
“I just… I wish you would stop hating Dad so much.”
“Do you think I do this without reason? Do you know why I got sick? It’s all because of your father. That idiot lost our entire home investing in stocks. Do you know how hard I worked? I couldn’t even straighten my back properly for ten years.”
When her father lost the house to stock investments, her mother, who had been a full-time housewife, had to enter the workforce. Factory, restaurant, cleaning—she worked nonstop, even on weekends. Within five years, she managed to secure the current house through loans.
Thinking of that time, her mother wiped away tears.
“If you hate him so much, why not just divorce him?”
“Who’s stopping me?”
“Then why don’t you?”
“If I divorced now, who would hold your hand at your wedding?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not planning to get married.”
Her mother’s face contorted.
“What? Why aren’t you getting married?”
“Because I don’t think I can live happily.”
Her mother laughed bitterly.
“Why wouldn’t you be able to? What do you lack? Are you still hung up on Kyung-jin?”
The name of her ex-fiancé from three years ago made Yeon-ha feel hollow.
“No.”
“Then why suddenly decide not to marry?”
Yeon-ha took a deep breath.
“I’ve never seen you and Dad happy. How could I expect to live happily?”
Her mother’s face froze in shock. Seeing Kyung-jin’s harmonious family had been a major reason Yeon-ha accepted the engagement.
“So Mom, just divorce Dad and live comfortably.”
“….”
“You were struggling so much you ended up in the hospital.”
Her mother was speechless.
After a moment, Jeong-sook stared out the window with a hardened expression. Yeon-ha felt her mother needed time alone and quietly left the room.
Dohyeon left the officetel and drove toward Chairman Kwon Jin-man’s residence. She had promised to go together, but couldn’t. Since Yeon-ha had taken a day off on Friday because her mother was unwell and went to her parents’ home, she would probably stay until the weekend and apologized.
Dohyeon told her it was fine and to stay well, then hung up.
The closer she got to the destination, the faster her heart raced from tension, and her hands gripped the wheel with sweat.
Upon arrival, she rang the doorbell, and a servant opened the door.
The scale of the enormous mansion overwhelmed Dohyeon. Having lived in Australia in a relatively spacious house, nothing compared.
High walls and a solid gate enclosed the property, while the exterior was finished with marble and natural stone for luxury.
Large windows and columns harmonized with traditional hanok elements in the design. In the wide garden, meticulously trimmed trees, a pond, and a terrace stood out.
Entering the front door, a servant guided her to the living room. Chairman Kwon Jin-man was playing baduk alone.
“Chairman, a guest has arrived.”
“Welcome.”
“Team Leader Seo couldn’t come due to matters at home.”
“I heard. Sit.”
Unlike his professional demeanor at work, Chairman Kwon wore a comfortable, modern hanbok, which made him feel approachable. Dohyeon noticed the smile in his eyes resembled her own, making her wonder if he could be her grandfather.
