Episode 32
The world was pitch black. There was no pain—only a calm, peaceful sensation, like water flowing without resistance.
Before long, sound began to seep into her numb ears.
“…Ash.”
A voice—unfamiliar yet strangely familiar—stirred her, and as she barely lifted her eyelids, she caught a faint glimpse of a smiling mouth.
Her blurred vision slowly began to clear, and a gentle voice echoed in her ears.
“…Ash, listen. Lord Chase gave you a name.”
Ah… this isn’t a dream. This was an old memory, long forgotten and sunken into the deep sea of her mind. A memory she never thought she’d recall again—one she had locked in a box and sunk far away.
Was this the life-flashing-before-your-eyes phenomenon people talk about before death?
“Sophia. Sophie. Isn’t it such a lovely name?”
She felt a soft hand caress her cheek, and instinctively, she leaned into its warmth.
…Mother.
She hadn’t heard that voice in so long—she never thought she’d hear it again. There was so much she wanted to say, but how could you speak to a memory?
All she could do was accept the final mercy of feeling the warmth of someone no longer truly by her side.
It would’ve been nice… if she could’ve seen her face too.
Even in her unconscious memory, she had lost her mother’s face.
“Lord Chase prepared a garden for us.”
I know. I go there often.
“I missed Edmund’s garden so much… I’m so happy. I should do something in return.”
Her chest ached with an electric sting that kept growing sharper and more painful.
Was it longing? Was it sadness? Was it because, no matter what she did, she could never return to that time?
‘All of it.’
Yes, all of it. Every reason gripped her heart, squeezing and releasing it like a vice.
How could something be so happy and yet so painful? She closed her eyes and exhaled softly—and in that moment, a new, unfamiliar voice pierced through her mind.
“Wake up.”
With that single word, it felt like someone had pulled her from the depths of water. A blockage inside her burst open, and her eyes flew wide.
“Ha… hah…”
Her breath escaped her lips, and the familiar ceiling came into view. She inhaled deeply—oxygen filled her lungs, vivid and fresh.
The room bathed in bluish moonlight through the window. Recognizing her own room, Sophia sat up and checked her body.
She wasn’t wearing the pajamas she’d had on the night before her birthday. Nor was it the outfit from the day she regressed.
She was alive. Yes—she was alive. If she hadn’t regressed and was still alive, it meant… she hadn’t died.
‘Did I collapse from dizziness… and now I’m waking up?’
She moved her hands to check for pain or injuries. Aside from a stiffness likely caused by lying down too long, there was nothing out of the ordinary.
“…Mmm.”
As she looked around more calmly, she saw someone resting their head on the edge of her bed, asleep. The darkness still veiled everything, and no lights were on, so she couldn’t see who it was.
Judging by the short hair, it was probably Lucion. There weren’t many people who would sleep so unguardedly in her room.
He must’ve been watching over her and passed out from exhaustion.
Sophia thought about going back to sleep but realized her eyes wouldn’t close again. To shake off the stiffness in her body, she decided to get up.
She got out of bed, draped a shawl from the chair over her shoulders, and headed toward the garden. Her mother’s voice from earlier—speaking about the garden—lingered, and she couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.
As she stepped into the moonlit garden, a cool night breeze brushed her cheek.
“…It’s quiet.”
Come to think of it—was Demis caught? She had collapsed and knew nothing. She was also worried about Salia.
She walked to where Salia had been, just in case. But the flowers were gone. Someone must have removed them. Of course—they wouldn’t leave flowers that tried to eat a person.
She decided to ask about everything in the morning and focused on clearing her mind as she walked.
The sound of soft footsteps. Leaves rustling in the wind.
Footsteps following her.
The quiet night made it easy to sense someone trailing her. Maybe she was just a little sensitive.
“I’m scared, so please come out.”
At her words, Benjamin and Joshua slowly stepped out from the shadows.
Just as she expected, Sophia let out a small sigh.
“Why did you follow me? No—how did you follow me?”
“It was just a coincidence…”
“We didn’t know when you’d wake up, so we kept watch.”
Benjamin tried to make an excuse, but Joshua answered honestly without a hint of tact. Benjamin scowled and smacked the back of Joshua’s head.
“You idiot.”
“What?”
“You make it sound like we’re creepy stalkers or something.”
“Oh, you’re right.”
Looking like he just had a major epiphany, Joshua turned to Sophia again.
“We just saw you walking out and followed by chance, Sophia.”
What was that? Sophia instinctively took a step back with a cold expression. Benjamin’s contemptuous look at Joshua was just a bonus.
Benjamin dragged the clueless Joshua behind him and offered Sophia a gentle smile, silently telling her to forget everything Joshua had said.
“We’re not trying to do anything you’d hate. It’s just… we followed you because we were afraid you might be in danger again.”
“….”
“Think of it as a temporary guard duty.”
From the moment they had saved her from Demis to the words they were saying now—everything felt unfamiliar. They’d never gone this far for her before.
“…Did you catch Demis?”
“Yeah. He’s locked up with Lucy Hesley. Don’t worry. They won’t be coming after you again.”
They were being so kind. Too kind.
She knew they could be soft at their age, but this was far more than she expected.
If they were this gentle now, back when she acted cute or affectionate, they should’ve been even more sweet.
Unable to understand their behavior, Sophia finally asked the question.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
Why were they suddenly trying to be so kind? The question silenced both Benjamin and Joshua.
The image of Sophia standing at Chase’s tower, saying she wished she could just lay flowers and die, was still vivid in their minds.
They couldn’t say they’d heard her back then—not unless they admitted to stalking her, which would only make her glare even more.
“You keep deciding to keep your distance, then approaching me again. Am I just supposed to quietly go along with that?”
They knew the look she was giving them now wasn’t much different.
Benjamin scratched the back of his neck and replied.
“Sorry. That wasn’t our intention.”
“Then why are you doing this all of a sudden? Do you want me to accept you?”
“You don’t have to accept us. We just… we hate the thought of you getting hurt again…”
“….”
“We just want to protect you—to that extent only. We’ll keep our distance.”
Benjamin slightly bowed his head. His sincerity showed in that simple action.
But Sophia couldn’t accept it so easily. Memories of them trying to kill her flashed through her mind. Her heart pounded with fear and distrust.
She hated this ambiguous distance. Not close, not far—it had tormented her so much in her past life.
That elusive hope, so close yet unreachable, had hurt so badly.
And whenever she thought she had finally reached that hope, it always turned into a blade that pierced her throat.
‘Are you trying to do that again?’
If so, she wished they would just stay away. Or come closer with conviction. Either would be better than this.
Their seemingly kind but distant behavior felt more like mockery.
“Why?”
Why show her affection only to keep their distance? Her curiosity made her ask again, but Benjamin remained silent, as if there was something he couldn’t say.
Was it because of Chase’s death? Because they couldn’t fully like her?
They couldn’t say they knew about Chase’s death, so they remained quiet—until Joshua blurted out plainly,
“We’ll probably push you away again anyway. Because of those damn dreams.”
“…Dreams?”
“Getting close, then pulling away again—that only hurts you.”
Sophia was momentarily speechless at his words, regardless of whether she understood or not.
“So just treat us like air…”
He was about to finish, but Sophia suddenly grabbed his arm, cutting him off.
“Tell me more about that dream.”
She had a feeling it was something important.
‘Set fire.’
‘The dream told me to do this.’
Her instincts—honed over countless lifetimes—were screaming at her.
This was something she needed to know.
