Episode 8
At a glance, it all seemed connected, but they couldn’t afford to act hastily.
Edmund wasn’t someone they could recklessly suspect, and since Benjamin didn’t know much about magic, there could be other reasons he simply didn’t understand.
To begin with, Edmund had been far away from where Sophia was. And above all else, Sophia was far too unharmed.
Did he not intend to harm her? Or had something simply not worked on her?
Unable to determine the cause, Benjamin sighed and pointed at the flower crown Serita was holding.
“Take that with you and give it to that mage to use as a reference.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure how accurate the information will be when another mage is the one giving it, especially when it’s a case that might involve magic… but we’ll filter what we can.”
Mages shared the same pain of being rejected by society, and that created a strong bond among them. Whether or not that bond would be helpful this time, they had to use every possible means.
“Yes. Then I’ll go ahead now. Sooner is better, right? Especially since it’ll take time for the letter to even reach them.”
Serita, eager to act quickly, turned to leave. Benjamin gave her a faint smile in gratitude, then called out to Joshua.
“Josh, go with her.”
“Why? She’s living in the castle anyway—”
“Just go.”
“Damn it.”
Joshua raised his middle finger at Benjamin before escorting Serita out. Then, Benjamin had everyone else leave the room, remaining alone by Sophia’s side.
Normally, he would’ve had Loray stay with her, but since she wasn’t here now, he had to take her place.
The other servants all had tasks to do.
He sat down on the simple chair placed beside the bed and looked down at Sophia.
How long had it been since he’d seen her this close? Would there ever be a day he’d get to see her like this again?
No—probably not.
“…Wake up soon.”
Benjamin murmured softly, pressing his fingernails into his palm.
“I don’t want you to die.”
It was a voice identical to every version of Benjamin Chase Roberti from all the lives Sophia had lived so far.
As the evening glow seeped into the room, Sophia’s long-shut eyelids slowly lifted.
As if the pain had been a lie, she sat up calmly with no lingering aftereffects, brushing her messy hair back.
And then she saw him.
Benjamin, asleep in a simple chair next to the bed.
She watched his tilted head, awkwardly slumped from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position.
She clearly remembered collapsing on her way back from meeting Lune. A servant must’ve brought her to her room.
But no matter how she looked at it, there was no reason for Benjamin to be in her room.
‘What the hell happened?’
She couldn’t understand anything that had occurred while she was unconscious. She’d have to ask Loray.
Just as she pulled off the blanket to get out of bed, the rustling woke Benjamin.
The fading sunset turned his white hair a soft red, and his yellow eyes absorbed the darkness of the unlit room.
“…So… phia?”
Still groggy, he called her name in a deep, sleepy voice. Then, as if realizing she was truly awake, he repeated her name again in a whisper.
“You… you’re awake.”
Fully alert now, Benjamin stared at her with wide eyes, clearly at a loss. He rubbed the back of his neck and hesitantly began to speak.
“Loray, um… she’s not feeling well…”
Ah. She had forgotten that this was about the time Loray had caught a cold.
That explained Loray’s absence—but not Benjamin’s presence.
As Sophia looked at him with puzzled eyes, Benjamin licked his dry lips and lowered his voice like someone confessing a sin.
“I just… didn’t want you to wake up with no one around… Do you need anything?”
He had stayed because Loray couldn’t.
What a ridiculous excuse.
If that had truly been enough reason to be by her side, then he should’ve come a long time ago.
“I don’t need anything.”
Avoiding his gaze, Sophia pulled the blanket back over herself. She couldn’t question someone who was supposedly sick.
“You can keep resting. I’ll be gone soon anyway. Just until Jules arrives…”
She had never seen him so flustered. The Benjamin she remembered never acted this way.
When she’d once tried hard to be friendly with him—approaching with forced smiles and cutesy behavior—he’d reacted harshly, raising his voice and scowling to push her away.
Back when they were younger, he hadn’t been so callous. He hadn’t been a bad person either, which was why she had once tried to find a way into his heart.
‘Was it because I collapsed?’
If she’d known getting sick would move them, if she’d known they were the type to pity a sick child—she would’ve faked it sooner.
But even this wouldn’t last. In the end, they’d toss her aside just like always.
It had always been that way. Just when they seemed to warm up to her, they’d end up hating her again.
Sophia decided she would no longer cling to their fleeting kindness. Her life would no longer be lived for them, but for herself—even if it was short.
“Don’t you want water? Your voice sounded hoarse…”
She turned to him, surprised at her own reaction.
Not just his voice, but his face too was filled with worry. His eyes looked slightly red.
“…Just a little, please.”
Her throat did hurt, after all.
There was no need to stubbornly reject something done for her sake. She accepted the glass Benjamin handed her, sipped from it, and felt much better.
She passed the glass back and looked at him. He was smiling faintly.
It seemed like he was genuinely happy just to have been of help.
She didn’t feel anything anymore when she saw that face. Before, just taking the glass would’ve made her hands shake.
Once, she had asked a blond-haired servant—a name she could no longer remember:
‘If you met the person who killed you in a dream… how do you think you’d feel?’
She couldn’t speak of reincarnation, so she called it a dream. And it did feel like one. Every time she died, it was as if all her past experiences vanished like a dream.
The servant had answered with an awkward smile:
‘Uh… I think I’d be scared, and it would feel awkward to be near them. Even if it was just a dream… yeah, I’d feel uncomfortable.’
That was the normal response. No matter how dreamlike it was, could anyone truly stay calm when facing their killer?
It had taken Sophia a long time after her return to steel herself to reform Joshua and Benjamin.
Her grudge was sharp and painful. Facing the people who had held that blade took great resolve.
But she had endured it because she believed that turning them good was the only way she could survive.
She had become used to them. So much so that it once made her sick with self-loathing and left her shut in her room for days.
Now, it was all in the past. A distant, faraway story.
To shake off the thoughts, Sophia opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a book to read.
She didn’t send Benjamin away—just to bother him a little. Seeing him so unsure of himself was pitiful in an amusing way.
“…Jules is taking a while.”
As the suffocating silence dragged on, Benjamin’s lips grew dry.
Sophia didn’t react. She kept reading. Jules still hadn’t arrived. Joshua, that bastard, had gone to the training grounds.
Benjamin tried to find comfort in the fact that she hadn’t kicked him out, but he knew better—it wasn’t kindness.
She was ignoring him. Purposefully. To show him just how little he mattered. Just like when she hadn’t opened his gift.
Though they were physically close, it felt like mountains lay between them.
His apology had come too late. Now, all he could do was keep his distance.
That reality sank in again as he heard footsteps outside the room.
“Are you leaving?”
Her small voice broke through the sound of turning pages. There was no disappointment in her tone.
She only asked because she noticed him perking up at the noise.
“Will you come again?”
Would he show his face again?
It didn’t sound like she was hoping to see her brother. It sounded more like she was asking if he’d be bothering her again.
Benjamin opened his mouth a few times, struggling to find the right words.
“…I won’t do anything. I won’t do anything to hurt you…”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
A dull, lifeless apology. It sounded like something he said just to get out of the situation.
Sophia turned her head toward him, but he looked away first and stood up.
“I’ll go now, Sophia.”
As he opened the door and fled, Sophia watched his retreating figure, then returned to her book.
No matter what he said or thought—she didn’t care anymore.
Thinking about how she used to hang on to their words and reactions only filled her with disgust.
