CHAPTER 09
“It’s already been a week since you arrived at Winchester, Miss.”
At Rani’s words, I nodded while chewing on an apple.
As she neatly arranged my bedding, she asked,
“Ah, will you be attending Young Master Esteban’s lesson again today?”
‘Hmm… what should I do?’
Since the first day I joined Esteban’s lesson, I had stubbornly inserted myself into every single session with Ellen.
Ellen, who didn’t know I was a beastkin, simply thought I was an unusually loyal fox that didn’t want to leave its owner.
‘It’s not loyalty—I’m just trying to become human again, okay? Human!’
It wasn’t like I had never transformed before, but maybe because my past-life memories had mixed in, I just couldn’t get the hang of it.
‘It feels like I just need to speed up the mana flow… but how did I even do it back in Aniple?’
Of course, the simplest way would be to stimulate my emotions and trigger my mana channels—
‘…But I’m not supposed to just stay angry until it works, right?’
“Whine…”
A sigh slipped out without me realizing.
I had rushed here to prevent Esteban’s rampage—
But what if I failed just because I couldn’t transform?
The thought made me uneasy.
“Miss, are you feeling unwell?”
At Rani’s worried voice, I shook my head and shook my body as if nothing were wrong.
The worst-case scenario was coming all the way to Winchester and accomplishing nothing—
but…
‘No. I don’t need to panic. So far, there’s no suspicious person around Esteban, and his mana is stable. That means there’s still time.’
The best way forward was clear.
I had to succeed in transforming as soon as possible.
And for that—
‘Lessons. I need to go to the lessons!’
***
“Think of moving your mana throughout every part of your body. To your fingertips and toes.”
Alright, move mana throughout my whole body.
“If you do that, you’ll feel the flow slow down slightly.”
Ah… so I shouldn’t spread it out then—
“Once you get used to it, you’ll be able to control it even at the very edges of your senses.”
…Wait. If controlling it to the very ends is possible—
Isn’t that exactly what I need for transformation?
Then shouldn’t I be spreading it everywhere?
“Good work today.”
‘Wait—already?’
Just like before, the lesson ended right when I felt like I was about to understand something.
I opened my eyes blankly and looked at Ellen.
He handed Esteban a towel.
“I’m relieved to see you improving.”
“……”
“I know it’s difficult, but you’re doing very well. Once you get used to it, it won’t feel this hard. Just hold on a little longer.”
Esteban didn’t respond, his face buried in the towel, clearly exhausted.
Ellen spoke gently.
“It’s natural for this to be difficult. If it were easy, most of the Winchester bloodline wouldn’t suffer from rampages.”
‘Right. It’s supposed to be hard. This isn’t because I’m incapable!’
Listening to them, I flopped down onto the ground.
Honestly, with no real progress, it felt hopeless.
‘I thought after just a couple of lessons, I’d be able to transform easily.’
I had even imagined confidently telling Esteban never to underestimate me again.
‘But I didn’t expect to be this clueless.’
My first transformation had already been late compared to others—
And now this.
Even Ariel, who was irresponsible and immature, could transform freely.
The realization hit me hard.
‘… Am I the problem?’
For a moment, I even wondered if it would’ve been better to just fix Ariel and send her instead.
Just then, Ellen spoke again, as if something had come to mind.
“Come to think of it, I heard a rumor that His Grace invited a special guest to prevent rampages. Is that true?”
At those words, I stiffened and lifted my head.
That “special guest”…
It was me.
I considered quietly sneaking away—
But Esteban spoke first.
“A ‘special guest’? That’s an exaggeration.”
“Haha, well, someone capable of stopping rampages would certainly—wait. That reaction… don’t tell me it’s true?”
Ellen looked surprised.
“…Are they already staying in the mansion?”
I glanced nervously at Esteban.
He smiled brightly.
“There’s no such capable guest here.”
“…There isn’t?”
“If there were, I wouldn’t need to struggle like this to control my mana.”
Wow. That stung.
I rolled my eyes awkwardly, feeling guilty.
“Well… that does make sense,” Ellen said.
Excuse me, could you not agree so easily?
There’s a very “useless desert fox” listening to this whole conversation right here.
“It’s just a rumor.”
“Haha, I suppose so.”
“Besides, there’s no guarantee that this so-called guest even has that ability.”
It was clearly directed at me.
My conscience prickled.
‘Hey, that’s not fair. I do have the ability! I really do!’
But since I couldn’t transform, to Ellen I was just a clingy pet fox.
I couldn’t exactly interrupt.
I glared at Esteban—
and he met my eyes, smiling.
“Well, even if they don’t have the ability, it doesn’t matter. If all else fails, I can just make a scarf out of them.”
“…A scarf?”
What is it with him and turning me into a scarf?!
“As long as it’s useful somehow, that’s enough, isn’t it?”
“…”
Just wait.
Out of pure spite if nothing else, I will transform.
***
So what was I going to do?
Simple.
If I couldn’t manage it myself—
I’d just use a shortcut.
It definitely wasn’t because the lessons were too hard or I was exhausted.
‘This is all for Esteban’s sake. If he loses control while I’m still a desert fox, that’s worst for him and the Winchester family, right?’
For a brief moment, I also thought about my own family, who might be wiped out—
But I pushed that thought aside.
…Better not think too deeply about it.
Clearing my throat awkwardly, I looked at the field of blooming bluebells in front of me.
If not for a desert fox’s sharp hearing, I would’ve been caught by the servants before even getting here.
‘But I didn’t get caught, so it’s fine.’
I decided I’d deal with the consequences later—after I successfully transformed.
With that, I stepped into the field of bluebells.
‘If ginseng is better when it’s older, maybe Bluebells are the same?’
Thinking that, I moved deeper into the flowerbed, trying to pick the most potent-looking ones.
Then—
I heard someone approaching.
‘There should still be an hour before Esteban’s lesson starts…’
Startled, I quickly flattened myself against the ground.
And when I saw who it was—
I tilted my head.
…Wait.
Why is that person here?
