Chapter 113
Benen’s personality might never really change. He’s the kind of person who faces any obstacle alone—and sometimes does frightening things.
…Someone like that—I probably can’t save him completely, like some heroine out of a story.
“Brother, you’re not a shadow. Please stand back-to-back with me.”
At those words, Benen fell silent for a long while.
The food on our plates cooled. The sauce began to dry and crust over.
…When he finally spoke again, his voice was muffled against my neck, where his face was buried.
“…Sol. You’re really unfair.”
“What did I do?”
“You’ve gone and made another debt I can’t repay.”
“I didn’t do anything. Aren’t you the one digging your own grave here?”
“I swear, you’re impossible to deal with.”
His quiet, breathy laugh lingered for a long time.
He still couldn’t bring himself to get up, so I held him and wordlessly patted his back.
Someone who looks like they can do everything alone… I wish you’d allow yourself to be a little shameless—at least with me.
“You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to prove you’re useful. Just being there… that’s enough. You’re already my support, Brother.”
Benen Schlaeger.
The one person I’d never paid attention to—neither before nor after possessing this body.
But now…
Now that I understand his heart, I just want to be a small source of comfort for someone who’s been so terribly lonely.
* * *
The summer solstice is approaching.
Which means a short summer vacation is just around the corner. The students are buzzing with talk of their holidays.
And around this time in the original story, Seraphina begins to sense that something’s wrong.
No matter how many letters she sends saying she’s coming home, or how often she asks for a carriage to be arranged—her family never replies.
Then, on the first day of vacation, she manages to find a ride and finally returns home… only to find the house empty, and debt certificates scattered across the desk.
That was supposed to be the start of Seraphina’s first trial.
But this time—it’s different.
“Seraphina, you look cheerful today.”
“Yes, I feel so good!”
Seraphina smiled brightly. Ah, like the sun itself.
“My parents have been given work that’s basically volunteer labor for the temple!”
“Oh? What kind of work? Isn’t it hard for them?”
“The priests say they’re struggling but doing their best! And guess what—they’ve started learning hymns! It’s like a miracle—they must’ve been enlightened!”
“Wow, that’s wonderful!”
The words came out stiff and awkward, like reading from a textbook. But Seraphina accepted them sincerely, without suspicion.
“It must be thanks to your persuasion, Sol. You heard bad rumors about my parents and came rushing to our house to help, remember?”
“…”
“Thank you so much, Sol. You’re my savior.”
What could I even say to that?
For a moment, I hesitated.
All this time, I’ve only ever thought about using Seraphina. Did I even have the right to accept her thanks?
But I didn’t have long to dwell on it—her next words froze me in place.
“I really think the Lord sent you to me.”
“…”
Suddenly, I remembered myself six years ago—cursing under my breath on the way home from work, while reading To Save You.
I could never bring myself to like Seraphina.
Maybe… that upright heart of hers was one of the reasons.
My reply came a beat too late.
“You’re probably right.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie.
After all, I ended up in this world precisely because I was complaining about how Seraphina got unconditional love and solved everything effortlessly.
The “god” here insisted I wasn’t their favorite character—but who would believe that?
Then Seraphina suddenly leaned in close to me, her summer-colored eyes sparkling.
“Sol, are you hiding something?”
“…Is it that obvious?”
“Yes. You always look like you’re thinking about something far away.”
“…”
“But no matter what’s bothering you, I hope you’ll remember this one thing: I’ll always believe in you.”
“You believe in everyone.”
“Ahaha, you caught me.”
Yes—Saint Seraphina loved everyone, and believed in everyone. Even under terrible parents, she grew up pure and kind.
When I read the original story, that part of her made me feel pathetic.
Seraphina, unaware of my bitterness, changed the subject.
“I’m glad to see you looking better, too. You really suffered because of Lady Fruhling.”
“Everyone comforted me, so I recovered quickly.”
“That’s because you’re strong. I hope Lady Fruhling becomes a better person someday.”
“…”
“She must have been hurt a lot under her overbearing parents. Our upbringing isn’t all that defines us. Poor thing.”
“…She’ll probably improve in the convent.”
“I knew you’d worry about her future, Sol!”
Seraphina smiled brightly again.
…and then I remembered another reason I could never love her in the original story.
She was loved by everyone—and she loved everyone in return.
“One day, let’s visit Lady Fruhling together! She should know someone’s waiting for her to grow as a person!”
How can you love everyone like that? Is it because everyone loves you unconditionally in return?
When I read the novel, watching you was painful. Even seeing you loved made me miserable.
Damn it… I guess it really was jealousy. Who the hell gets jealous of a fictional character?
My current life must be the merciful punishment for that petty envy of a saint.
“…Sol, what’s wrong? You look upset.”
“…It’s nothing.”
“Wanna go get something yummy? The oranges are really sweet this season.”
Her innocent smile pierced my chest.
I can’t love people the way she does. I can’t trust them.
Even now…
Even after six years with the Duke, I still can’t open my heart completely. I’m always wary, waiting for betrayal.
…And yet, sometimes I catch myself happily imagining him stroking my head for no reason.
Ugh. Even I’m disgusted by myself.
Ah, right.
When I read To Save You, there was one question I could never put into words.
…If someone has never been loved, can they ever truly learn how to love?
I only wanted to comfort Benen after he showed me his tears.
Am I doomed to forever envy those who are loved—and those who love in return?
* * *
The final choir practice for the summer solstice was over. The High Priest spoke.
“Remember what you’ve learned so far, and make sure to keep practicing your solo parts at home for the solstice performance.”
“Yes, sir!”
“Then… with this, we mark the end of the first term at Grüner Wand Academy!”
“Waaaah—!”
“Wait, hold on! I’m not finished yet! Make sure you wear your uniforms neatly for the festival! No weird accessories! And don’t forget to maintain your dignity over vacation—hey, stop running!”
But the students, newly freed, scattered like baby spiders—rushing toward their parents or servants. The place exploded with noise and excitement.
In the original story, today Seraphina would’ve barely managed to catch a carriage by sunset and return home… only to realize she was all alone in the capital.
But things have changed.
Right now, she was chatting happily with her parents, who had just finished their day’s work.
“You’ve both worked so hard today. The smell of earth on you is so sweet!”
“Damn it, Seraphina, what are you so happy about?”
“Because I love that you’ve learned the joy of working with your hands! Did you recite your prayers today? Last week I taught you the prayer about the joy of labor, remember?”
“They all sound the same, so I can’t even tell anymore… Hey, is there one about finding treasure?”
“Hmm… I don’t think so.”
Yeah, no kidding.
As I walked past, I gave them a small wave. The Count and Countess Tilern flinched.
“Hello! Heading home with Seraphina, I see? How’s the work going?”
“W-we’ve been digging for days, but haven’t found a single valuable thing! Are you sure it’s really there?”
“Uh, what’s ‘there’ supposed to be?”
“T-that, uh… you know, that thing.”
“I’m not sure I should be hearing this. Should I ask my brother instead?”
Their contract with Benen did include a confidentiality clause, after all.
The Tilerns, realizing their mistake, snapped their mouths shut. I gave them a graceful nod and turned to Seraphina.
“See you at the solstice festival, Seraphina.”
“Yeah! Let’s sing joyfully together!”
“Of course.”
Watching the birth of a saint—it’ll be quite the experience.
Now it was time for me to return to the Duke’s mansion. I took a deep breath.
I’d told the Duke countless times:
“Please don’t make a scene when picking me up! Don’t send your servants pushing that enormous carriage through the gates again!”
Last time, when he’d said, ‘That was the smallest carriage in the estate,’ I nearly fainted.
I’d begged him to bring something smaller—even a cargo wagon would do!
After waiting for quite some time, I heard an ominous noise in the distance.
“T-that… what is that?!”
“No way… that’s from House Schlaeger…”
“They say he adores his daughter, and it’s true after all…”
What’s going on?! Don’t tell me he’s holding a parade just to pick me up!
And then, the answer appeared before me.
“Sol, happy vacation. I came to pick you up.”
“…Father.”
A long, imposing shadow stretched over me.
Lattiger Alt Schlaeger, the Duke himself, had come on horseback to get me. His jet-black horse snorted, stamping its hooves.
Wow… I didn’t know horses could even get that big. It looked like a bear.
The Duke dismounted lightly, his deep-blue cape billowing behind him.
“Did you wait long?”
“N-no!”
Normally, I’d complain—“Yes! Why so late?!”—but his sheer presence was too overwhelming for that.
A trembling priest approached us.
“Y-y-your Grace… is there, perchance, a conscription or investigation order…?”
“I only came to pick up my daughter. Is that a problem?”
“N-no, sir! Safe travels!”
The priest scurried away as if for his life.
The massive horse, looking as if it could swallow me whole, turned its gaze on me.
“That’s… quite the horse you’ve brought.”
“It was once a warhorse. No longer active, but still runs fast.”
“It certainly looks terrifying.”
“I couldn’t help it. I wanted to see you as soon as possible.”
His answer was so smooth it left me speechless. But he seemed to mistake my silence for something else.
“Ah, of course, I also remembered your request not to draw attention. You said the black carriage from the manor was too much.”
“Yes—it looked like a whale charging through the streets.”
“So I prepared a carriage that suits you better.”
He gestured behind the horse.
I hadn’t noticed before—because the horse’s sheer presence blocked my view.
Behind it was…
…a small, adorable white carriage. I’d never seen it before.
Wait.
“…Father, did you buy this just for me?”
“Yes.”
Isn’t that a bit much?
Not only did he buy a whole carriage just for my use—but it looked like something straight out of a parade at an amusement park! Way too pretty for me!
And the Duke, standing beside it, looked less like a doting father and more like a dark lord kidnapping a princess!
Then, hesitantly, he spoke.
“…You don’t like it?”
