Chapter 17
No… maybe I’m just misunderstanding.
I quickly soothed myself. Once I calmed down, another question surfaced.
A misunderstanding? If the Duke and Sophia end up together, isn’t that actually a good thing for me?
The story would progress according to the original, and I’d be freed from the Duke.
Then why does my heart keep throbbing with this sharp ache?
An inexplicable pain tormented me. It was suffocating, like I couldn’t breathe, and at the same time, it felt as though something sharp was stabbing me.
I don’t know. For now, I just need to get away from here.
I stumbled backward, desperate to escape this confusing situation.
“luen, it’s not what you think.”
“That’s right. My lady, you’re mistaken.”
As I retreated, the Duke and Sophia stepped closer. Seeing them together only made them seem like an even better match.
“Sorry for interrupting. Please, continue your conversation.”
I bowed hastily and ran back toward the mansion. At this moment, the only place I could go was my own room.
I should have listened to the knights earlier. I should’ve just gone back to my room and slept.
The Duke and Sophia’s meeting had nothing to do with me. And yet, catching them together in secret like that made my insides twist.
Just a few hours ago, he was being so kind to me…
I begged him to let me go. I pleaded for him to cast me aside, but he wouldn’t.
And now I couldn’t help but resent him. If he was destined to fall in love with Sophia, he should have released me.
I was the obstacle.
They should have been free to meet openly, to love each other proudly—but because of me, they had to hide in secret.
I should have run away if he wouldn’t let me go.
My chest tightened, breathing became ragged, and my lungs ached, but I couldn’t stop running.
Can I even go back into the mansion like this?
Was there even still a place for me?
The Duke had found the woman he truly loved, which meant it was time for me to exit the stage.
He’s not even chasing after me.
Cowardly though it was, some part of me hoped the Duke would come after me.
Even while running away, another part of me wanted to be caught. Contradictory feelings.
And yet, they were mine.
I don’t understand myself…
I was simply bewildered.
Panting heavily, I finally reached the mansion’s entrance. The knights guarding the doors looked flustered.
“My lady, did something happen?”
One of them, clearly unsure of what to do, hesitantly offered me a handkerchief. I only stared blankly at him, unable to take it.
“I’m sorry. It’s just… you’re crying.”
I had thought the wetness on my face was sweat. But when I rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand, it was damp.
So I was shaken badly enough to cry…
Why was my heart trembling so painfully?
I accepted the handkerchief and wiped my face, wishing I could wipe away these emotions along with the tears.
After that, I stopped trying to force the Duke and Sophia together. There was no need to meddle—they were already meeting in secret on their own.
The fact that neither of them ever mentioned it must mean I was right.
And then, gradually, there were more situations where the three of us gathered together. Perhaps because of my presence, they bickered and teased each other like before.
It was as if that night never happened.
“luen, about the picnic I mentioned before. I’ve found the perfect spot,” Sophia said brightly.
“Then I suppose I’ll accompany you and the young lady, as before,” the Duke replied.
They acted no differently.
Should I call them shameless?
Even though they were caught in their secret tryst, they treated me as though nothing had happened. Sometimes anger flared in me, but I tried to accept their behavior.
Perhaps it’s only because the Duke is married—they’re mindful of appearances.
I too had decided: once their relationship deepened, I would divorce him.
I’ll just make sure to claim a large settlement.
A bitter taste spread in my mouth as I sipped my tea. No matter how sweet the tea, the bitterness wouldn’t fade.
“What do you think, luen?”
The Duke prompted me. …What were we talking about? Ah, the picnic. I thought for a moment.
“I don’t know.”
I dragged the words out. It didn’t matter to me anyway. It was only an excuse for the Duke and Sophia to spend time together.
“You’ve looked down lately,” Sophia said. “A day out might do you good.”
“Yes, some fresh air will help,” the Duke agreed. “What do you think, luen?”
Both of them leaned toward me, shining with concern.
And suddenly, it struck me—
Perhaps they only treat me kindly because they believe I carry his child.
He wanted the heir from me, but his heart belonged to Sophia.
My stomach churned.
“I’m fine.”
All I needed to think about was the freedom that awaited me once I left this place. If I could only escape House fiar.
“Then let’s go together, the three of us!” Sophia beamed and scooted closer to me, spinning fantasies aloud.
“We’ll spread out a blanket on a hilltop. Then we’ll sit, unpack a basket, and share sandwiches in the sunshine with the cool breeze.”
Her eyes sparkled as she painted the scene.
“Well, I don’t like it,” she pouted, “but if it’s the Duke instead of knights acting as our escort, I suppose I’ll allow it.”
Her little pout was adorable. It was no wonder the Duke had fallen for her.
My chest ached. Anyone would fall for someone so bright, so full of life.
“How insolent. As if the feeling is mutual,” the Duke muttered, but there was no real heat in it.
They bickered again, using me as the buffer between them. I tried to think of nothing at all.
They’re too well-matched…
I avoided their exchanged glances, refusing to interpret the hidden meanings.
“I think I may have a slight fever,” I said abruptly. “I should rest.”
I couldn’t endure it any longer.
“Yes, you do look pale. I’m worried you might collapse,” the Duke said.
But… I’d never once fainted in front of him.
“Pardon?”
“…It’s nothing.”
He looked flustered as he waved it off. Once, I would have dismissed it as overprotectiveness. But now, I wondered—
Could it be Sophia who fainted before him?
My eyes darted unconsciously toward her. Immediately, the Duke stood up.
“I’ll escort you to your room.”
Almost as if to block my line of sight to Sophia. My stomach twisted further with suspicion.
“No. Julia, come with me.”
“Yes, my lady,” Julia answered respectfully, stepping forward.
“Will you be alright?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” I replied curtly. The Duke sat back down without argument.
That would give him and Sophia more time to grow closer, while the jealous wife was condemned for her clinginess.
Before my thoughts spiraled further, I cut them off.
“Then I’ll take my leave.”
“Rest well, my lady!” Sophia called after me cheerfully.
Just words, now.
Not long ago, both she and the Duke would have insisted on escorting me, worrying over me constantly.
Now that I’ve seen through them, they no longer care to pretend?
Was that what this was—just a sham marriage, a “display couple”?
The word lodged itself in me like a thorn.
No. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?
You swore you’d endure as a show-window wife until the time came to divorce, luen Aloha.
I shook my head to chase away the thoughts, but every step away from them only dragged me into more.
—I told you not to make it obvious…
—Did she notice? …We must be careful…
Not an excuse this time, but truly, my head felt heavy. My steps slowed. Their careless whispers reached me anyway.
“My lady?”
Julia’s concerned voice jolted me. She stepped forward, ready to help.
“No, I can walk by myself.”
“Yes. Please let me know if you need anything.”
She waited behind me as I walked on.
If I linger here, I might overhear more…
Curiosity tugged at me, but I forced myself away without regret.
It’s better this way. This is right.
I kept repeating it, convinced my choice was correct.
Stay true to your purpose. Do what you resolved to do from the beginning.
The entire way back, I reflected and renewed my resolve.
“Julia, I want to be alone.”
“Yes, my lady. Please rest well.”
Used to such requests, Julia left without suspicion. I stood alone in my large room, surrounded by gifts from the Duke.
“There was a time, wasn’t there…”
Not long ago, the Duke had begged me. Pleaded for me to stay with him, not to leave.
He offered me love, treasures, anything I desired.
No one had ever spoken to me that way before.
It was the first time I had felt truly cherished. I hadn’t hated it. For a moment, I even thought maybe I could accept this life.
But sooner than expected…
The Duke seemed to have fallen for Sophia.
I replayed the afternoon’s tea in my mind, searching for clarity.
“My lady, I want to drink tea with you too,” Sophia had chirped.
Normally, the Duke would scold her, but this time, he remained silent.
“If Sophia wishes it… then I don’t mind.”
He claimed it was only to respect my opinion, but their furtive glances told another story.
Once, I would have dismissed it as mere quarrels. But after catching them in the garden together, I could no longer.
Their hands brushed over a sugar cube, and instead of annoyance, there was something complicated in their eyes.
I looked away. Somehow, it felt like I had no right to intrude.
That subtle feeling had become undeniable.
Trust your instincts.
Only now did I realize the truth.
It was never mine to begin with.
And that meant now was the perfect moment.
Yes. I’ve decided.
