Chapter 6
“……”
Feeling warmth against her hand, she lowered her head. When she smiled at their intertwined hands, El smiled back. Johan, who was being held by a knight, began to whine. She held out her arms, and he came into them. It was no different from his usual clinginess, yet every day he seemed more precious. When she softly called, “Johan,” those blue eyes turned toward her.
“Let’s go home now.”
“Okay.”
The children nodded. It had been a short outing. After returning to the mansion and sending the children to their rooms, Isilia sank into thought.
“Tell John to come here.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Before long, the butler John entered the room. She received the envelope he handed over and gave a small nod. After dismissing everyone else, she sat down and opened it. A heap of documents spilled out. Isilia let out a laugh. She felt ridiculous — digging into the past of him and her after ordering an investigation. From basic personal information to the date, one year ago, when Marillian was chosen as the crown prince’s aide—details of the people around her…
Her hands stopped turning the pages. Isilia shut her mouth tight. She could clearly feel herself freezing up, unable to relax her expression.
“So that’s why…”
She closed and opened her eyes. Her gaze pierced through the name written there:
“Marillian von Inderic.”
She scanned the document again.
“Imperial Year 132, born on the 14th day of the Spring of Beginnings.”
‘Seven days from now would be ideal.’
His indifferent tone echoed in her mind.
Born on the 14th day — new life begins in spring. Isilia’s thoughts drifted.
The ceremony scheduled for tomorrow was—
“……”
—on the 12th.
Realizing it, she felt breathless. If not for her competent retainers, the ceremony would have taken place as originally planned: on the 14th.
Marillian’s birthday.
“To the esteemed damn duke,”
“I am Arwin von Agnes, Vice Captain of the enemy knight order.”
“Yes.”
The day after seeing Isilia at the palace, Arwin had gone to answer the crown prince’s summons, thinking nothing of it — until he saw red hair. He instinctively stiffened. Though he belatedly hid his expression, Jordan had already seen it.
—Disaster.
Arwin swallowed.
“Let me introduce you. Lady Inderic, my aide.”
“……”
“You two haven’t met, have you? I just realized I never told you about her.”
Liar.
Arwin swallowed the words rising to his throat. The crown prince had not forgotten. He had simply never told him. He must have sensed their relationship long before his own sister did. Jordan was waiting — waiting for Isilia to notice the duke’s betrayal — just as he had sent people to inform him.
“It wouldn’t make sense for the people around me not to know each other.”
Jordan smiled at him. Rumors had circulated for a year now: the crown prince keeping a female aide by his side. Why introduce her only now? Arwin could guess the prince’s intent. He looked far too amused. Arwin stayed silent.
“Marillian.”
At the prince’s beckoning, the young lady hesitated, then approached. Arwin stared at her as she came closer. Even after leaving the office, he couldn’t smooth out his twisted expression. The loud thud of the door closing made those outside flinch. Knights sitting nearby glanced uneasily as the green-eyed young man stormed past. He looked harsher, angrier than usual. Some knights whispered jokes — Did he get scolded by His Highness?
Arwin ignored them and knocked on the captain’s office door.
“Come in.”
A man looked at him blankly from behind the desk. You… Arwin couldn’t speak at first. Forcing down the rage trembling through him, he finally asked:
“You knew?”
“Knew what?”
“You knew.”
His silence conveyed the words he wasn’t saying — about Duke Louisan and Lady Inderic.
The captain sighed beneath Arwin’s fierce gaze.
“I did.”
“Then why—”
“His Highness ordered silence.”
“……”
Arwin’s blazing eyes dulled. Royan, captain of the enemy knight order, continued once Arwin calmed a bit.
“If you don’t want to be jailed for disrespecting royalty, control your temper.”
“……”
“It doesn’t seem their relationship is that deep anyway…”
What use was that? Besides, his words were full of assumption. The flimsy comfort only made Arwin lower his head. He apologized belatedly, and Royan replied:
“I’ll let it go this time.”
“…Thank you.”
Royan wasn’t brushing it off lightly — he was shaken too. Even if Louisan abandoned the Endrianz family name, Royan would never ignore his younger brother’s scandal. Compared to the years Isilia chased the duke, the wedding had progressed unnaturally fast. Far too fast.
Arwin had warned his sister, but she’d been too happy to listen.
He left the office and opened the door to his own.
“……”
He remembered the smile Isilia used to give him.
It’s not like that.
The childish retort returned to him — the stubborn girl who used to lift her golden eyes defiantly and insist on her convictions.
Arwin ruffled his hair. A small voice lingered in his ears:
I love him. Truly.
His little sister, blushing, shy, overwhelmed by her first love.
He remembered her stiff expression under the crown prince’s teasing.
He exhaled. If she hadn’t fallen into Louisan’s filthy swamp, she would have grown into someone radiant — like the new Duchess of Brangio. A girl who once expressed love openly, who shared warmth because she received warmth.
Meeting Louisan made her abandon herself.
“Ria, the ceremony is too soon. Has he even told you he loves you?”
She nodded. Those golden eyes looked at him. Faced with her happiness, he had no more words.
He still regrets it.
“What does it matter now.”
It was too late. Her husband loved another woman, while she still loved him. Arwin opened a drawer, began writing on stiff stationery, and sighed. After staring at the words, he crumpled the page. Furious, he crushed the paper in his hand.
His sister was still a fool. He hated himself and their father for raising her that way. He hated himself for failing to stop her. He hated her for not listening. And…
“……”
The Endrianz Duke was no exception.
He picked up the crumpled paper. It wasn’t a letter he could ever send. No one would see it unless he showed it himself. Even the title was dangerous. No matter how trusted their father was by the emperor, they were still only a count family.
Smoothing the paper, Arwin took up his pen. Black ink filled the page.
“To the esteemed damn duke,”
If he couldn’t send it, then he would at least write everything he never got to say — even the words he normally would never use.
When Isilia was sixteen — still young, delicate — Louisan, already past twenty, seduced her. When she confessed, Louisan refused, and the Agnes father and son had been relieved—
Only to have their trust shattered.
Thinking of it again reignited his rage.
“……”
“Hey! Arwin! What are you writing so intensely? The captain wants you — let’s go.”
“I said don’t come in. I’ll be out soon.”
Countless unsaid words swirled in his head. Arwin glared at the ink bottle and the pen as if they were the enemy, then finally left the room.
Even after Marillian and Louisan’s wedding, he continued writing letters he would never send.
Isilia set down the letter in her hand.
She had already gone through the guest list Louisan sent over. Even in this situation, she was calmly carrying out the duties of the lady of the house.
…She no longer knew what she had done wrong, nor where everything went wrong.
She turned her head.
What was my own wedding like…?
The memory was hazy, yet her heart pounded.
Her body remembered what her mind had forgotten.
