Chapter 2
“What are you doing right now?”
“Rael?”
Before I could even process what was happening, Rael rushed in and forcefully pushed Helen away from me.
From afar, I saw Meisha running toward us—enough to tell me what must have happened.
So they saw everything from behind.
“I’ve heard you lack proper etiquette, but isn’t your behavior far too rude, Lady Helen?”
Rael’s deep, stern voice sliced through the air.
“…Ah, you must be His Highness’s personal maid?”
Helen, stumbling back a step, brushed her shoulder where Rael had touched her and gave a mocking laugh.
“For a maid, your hands are awfully rough. Are you really in any position to lecture me on manners?”
Her exaggerated shudder, as if she’d nearly fallen, made Rael let out a bitter laugh.
“They say ignorance can’t be reasoned with… I suppose this is what they mean.”
Rael’s sharp gaze cut downward, but Helen only returned it with a tilted, mocking smile.
A throbbing pain bloomed in my head.
Watching their pointless power struggle any longer would only make it worse.
“Rael, that’s enough.”
“Your Highness.”
“There’s no need to say more. Let’s go.”
I turned first.
“Leaving so soon? I’ll see you again, Your Highness.”
Helen’s voice followed, smooth and teasing. She smiled sweetly beneath the sunlight before strolling away with leisurely grace.
Just as I thought the tension had finally eased—
“Answer me!”
Heilon appeared before me, his voice raised in fury.
He’s shouting…? His Highness is actually shouting.
Until now, Heilon had always been the most rational person I’d ever met.
Unless pushed too far, he never raised his voice.
Perhaps that was why I once felt safe with him—because a man like that could never truly love me, but at least he would never love another.
But now… if he was this angry because of her—then what on earth was Helen to him?
Even I, the Crown Princess, had never reached that place in his heart.
She had taken it so easily.
“Your Highness.”
The realization alone was enough to break something fragile inside me.
“What is that girl to you?”
“Is that really all you have to say right now?”
His brows twitched.
His expression seemed calm, almost the same as usual, but I could tell—he was furious. He just didn’t want to show it to me.
If I apologized, if I admitted fault to Helen, then he’d let it go.
I have to apologize. If I don’t want him to hate me any more than he already does…
The thought screamed inside my spinning head.
“I… I…”
But just as the words caught in my throat, another thought struck me like lightning.
To keep from being hated… but does that even matter anymore?
“…Is that truly all Your Highness has to say to me?”
We both knew it. Our relationship was already over.
“What?”
Heilon frowned, his expression darkening in surprise.
“Do you even remember when we last spoke, Your Highness? It’s been two weeks. And even then, it was only to talk about Helen.”
My voice, soft but steady, finally stopped him.
“When the first thing you say to me after two weeks is her name—have you ever thought about how that feels? Or, at the very least, how others might look at me in this situation?”
The emotions I had suppressed for so long began to pour out uncontrollably.
For years, I’d kept silent out of fear—fear that he might come to hate me. There were so many words I’d swallowed, so many I’d longed to say. And now, as I finally spoke them, my voice trembled, wet with tears.
“…Am I not Your Highness’s wife? Wasn’t it my duty to stand by your side and walk with you? Then what am I now? Day after day, month after month, year after year—I live shut away in that room. What am I supposed to be?”
The moment the words left my lips, my vision blurred.
All the pain I had been holding back for years came crashing down at once.
Act like a Crown Princess.
I had tried—so desperately tried—to live up to his words. To stay by his side no matter what. To change every part of myself just to be the woman he wanted.
But in the end, I was nothing to him.
I had avoided that truth for so long, but now that it stood before me, my heart crumbled beyond repair.
Why was it always like this with me?
My family, my friends, even the man I once believed was my first love—every beginning eventually led to the same end: a fall.
The emptiness and helplessness were almost familiar now.
Even the last fragile rope I had been clinging to had finally slipped from my grasp.
Everything I had fought to hold onto—no matter how pitiful it made me—was gone.
A cold wind blew in through the open window.
As if in a trance, I walked toward it.
The moonlight was so bright that even the tears on my lashes gleamed like glass.
Clink.
My feet slowly crossed the cold railing.
The ground far below made my body tremble in fear—but even that was weaker than the fear of living.
I couldn’t stay here any longer. And there was nowhere left to return to.
I’m tired now.
Tired of Helen’s mocking smiles.
Tired of chasing after Heilon.
Tired of the servants’ scornful glances.
Tired of pretending for an empire that believed in me.
Four long years I endured—under the weight of the title “Crown Princess.”
In those four years, I had lost everything—myself, my people, my place.
Living empty like this was a kind of hell.
A bitter smile curved on my lips.
Once, I thought that position was my last lifeline.
My eyes slid closed.
“Please… let’s never meet again.”
Whispering my final farewell into the night, I stepped forward without hesitation.
My body fell through the air, motionless, almost peaceful.
Thud.
The impact came hard and fast—pain surging through every bone and vein in my body.
It hurts…
Tears spilled down my cheeks.
Even dying wasn’t going to be easy, it seemed.
And even then, I thought of them—those two smiling, happy faces.
Would they be laughing together while I lay here like this?
My vision blurred, blood spreading beneath me.
Why had I come here? Why had I done this?
But even so—I didn’t regret it.
Because I had already been covered in wounds, torn apart by the man I could never reach.
And I no longer wanted to live as the woman he had turned me into.
Perhaps, in a way, that made this choice… not so terrible.
At least now, I’ll no longer have to chase his gaze.
That was my final thought before the world faded to black.
***
How long had it been?
A sharp pain throbbed in my head. I groaned, slowly lifting myself up.
Still alive. Of course. How could even death go the way I wanted?
As I tried to stand, something froze me in place.
The room…
This was the bedroom I’d used before leaving the Clody estate—my family home, which I’d abandoned to become Crown Princess.
Everything looked exactly as it had before I left.
I rubbed my eyes over and over, but nothing changed.
“What… is this?”
I stumbled toward the door and pulled it open.
“Milady? Is something wrong?”
Startled, Meisha—my maid—looked at me with concern.
“Meisha… what year is it right now?”
My voice shook violently.
“Year 572 of the Empire, of course. But, Milady, you’re sweating so much…”
Her worried tone barely registered.
572…?
My mind went blank, as if struck.
The last moment I remembered had been Year 577.
I had gone back—five whole years into the past.
