Chapter 69
The first dance with the Emperor.
Although our bodies didn’t touch and it wasn’t a complete dance, somehow my heart raced at the fact that I could move gracefully without collapsing.
At this moment, I could afford not to run away.
That fact made me forget that I was supposed to avoid the Emperor.
Just then, sweet and romantic music began to play. We started moving slowly to the rhythm.
Since we weren’t holding hands, we couldn’t fully rely on each other’s movements. In fact, it was the first time we were trying to synchronize, and without any contact, it was a highly challenging situation.
But the Emperor led the dance skillfully, without a hint of complaint.
I quietly gazed into his red eyes.
At first, I had thought they were as red as blood, but under the bright lights of the ballroom, they shimmered.
If I looked closely, it even seemed as if there was a faint smile in them.
“…Are you okay?”
The Emperor whispered softly, checking my expression.
“Okay?”
“Yes.”
Of course, I was okay. No, I had to be okay.
In this dazzlingly bright ballroom, the only person I could see was the man dancing in front of me. For this moment, I could believe it was just the two of us in the world.
Even if a severe backlash came later, I felt as if everything would be fine.
Perhaps this might be our last dance.
‘…This will remain in my memory forever.’
Even if he died and I were the only one left in this world.
Even if I failed in this life and shared the memory-less next life with Ardel Dwin Bellerk.
At least I now had a memory I could treasure. That alone was enough.
I hated myself for thinking this way about someone I was supposed to kill.
‘…For now, let’s just blame it on the mood.’
As the music ended, the Emperor gave a slight bow at a small distance, finishing the dance, yet he continued to gaze at me intently. I thought to myself: maybe admitting it now is less painful.
I was about to rest after the dance.
Someone approached me while I was standing slightly away from the center of the hall.
“…Y-Your Majesty, the Empress.”
It was Kaiden.
This time, he properly addressed me as “Your Majesty,” which was a relief. But unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.
“What is it?”
When I responded politely, he looked a little flustered.
But he quickly composed himself, held out his hand, and smiled innocently.
“Would you… dance with me as well?”
“I’m sorry, I’m a little tired.”
I refused outright.
It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to dance with Kaiden.
I couldn’t touch another man right now, and I couldn’t ask Kaiden for understanding by talking about my kidnapping trauma like I did with the Emperor.
Well, I had no obligation to explain that to him.
“Ah…”
Kaiden let out a small sigh, seemingly disappointed by my response.
But instead of insisting or leaving, he just stood beside me.
“…?”
“I’m tired too.”
“Then please rest. I’ll rest elsewhere.”
If you don’t go, I will.
“Ah… wait a moment, Your Majesty.”
Kaiden grabbed me.
I sighed and glared at him.
What was his purpose in bothering me? If this wasn’t some lingering attachment, then why had he come here with the delegation? I was beginning to feel scared.
Under my sharp gaze, he slightly turned his head away to avoid my eyes.
“Just… standing side by side like this reminds me of old times.”
Kaiden muttered quietly.
“Old times?”
“Yes. The first ball we attended together…”
The first ball.
I hadn’t thought about it at all.
Those memories weren’t unpleasant. On the contrary, as a young girl just entering society, attending a ball with someone I fancied was romantic and exciting.
But now…
‘My mind is full of the Emperor.’
The dance I had just performed with him—or rather, pretended to perform—was… in some ways, our first dance. It was the first time we had synchronized so closely.
That moment was engraved in my mind, refusing to fade.
I wanted to savor it as long as possible, yet I constantly reminded myself to return to reality.
‘…So I wanted to rest, and then this.’
I glanced resentfully at Kaiden. Unaware of my feelings, he started rambling, lost in his own memories.
“You were wearing a yellow dress that day, Your Majesty.”
…Ah.
Coincidentally, I had.
I had worn a yellow dress the day I danced my debut dance with Kaiden.
The difference was that back then, being younger and on my debut stage, I had worn a more flowing, elaborate gown.
Today, I wore a luxurious ballroom dress befitting an Empress—light, form-fitting, and subtly sparkling.
“It was truly an honor to be the Princess’s debut dance partner.”
Kaiden said this, smiling wistfully.
I didn’t respond, simply watching him.
Honestly, it did bring back old memories.
At that time, Kaiden’s father, Count Linezel, was a long-time subordinate and colleague of my father, so Kaiden had frequent access to the palace.
We had met there.
At first, it was awkward, but we soon found that we communicated surprisingly well.
A day or two of spending time together accumulated.
As my debut approached, Kaiden asked me to be his partner:
“…If you don’t have a debut partner, may I?”
I think I felt a flutter then. And I knew Kaiden felt the same way.
My father, having heard of our situation, laughed heartily and permitted him.
From that day, the atmosphere between us changed subtly.
It became awkward to meet his gaze, and sometimes, seeing his ears turn red when our eyes met, I found it cute.
Sometimes… I even held his hand.
It wasn’t surprising that engagement talks came up.
But that was it.
‘…Why am I thinking about such useless things?’
I held my forehead, frustrated by my mind wandering through Kaiden’s nostalgic talk.
No matter how I recalled those memories, I felt nothing now.
Rather…
“What’s the reason you’re bringing this up now?”
My voice, tinged with annoyance, made Kaiden flinch.
I regretted the situation slightly. I held no ill will toward him, and we hadn’t parted on bad terms.
It was sad to have to push away a childhood friend like this.
“We were friends, yes, but to bring up stories from when I was married… it can’t be seen as anything but deliberate.”
Then why, from the moment we first met, did he look at me with lingering eyes…?
I sighed.
“…It’s not like that.”
“Not like that? Then have I misunderstood all this time?”
“….”
Why does he clam up like a shell at times like this?
I hoped the delegation would leave soon. I swallowed another sigh and said:
“No answer… I suppose I’m right. From now on—”
“Oh my, Your Majesty the Empress?”
At that moment, a clear voice suddenly interrupted us.
Though I hadn’t heard it in a long time, I immediately recognized the owner.
‘Ugh… annoying.’
I forced my expression to remain neutral and turned toward the source.
There stood Princess Periel Deville with her entourage, looking full of confidence.
