Chapter 40
“First, I should do a preliminary inspection…”
Since I had plenty of time, it wouldn’t hurt to check the place out in advance to avoid any mishaps. If it turned out to be disappointing, I could always look for another location.
Just as I was about to head out, Illyna stopped me.
“Before that, my lady, you’ve received a letter.”
At the rare news, I reacted immediately.
“From Mother?”
“Yes. Here.”
I unfolded the letter Illyna handed me without hesitation.
When Father and my brother would send ten letters between them, Mother would be lucky to send even one. Of course, it wasn’t because she didn’t love Anastasia Sinclair.
I’m relieved to see you seem to be doing well. I miss your face.
That single line was the entire letter. My mother really was excessively curt.
And yet, somehow, it felt very much like her.
The sense of distance I’d felt when I first met Anastasia’s family had gradually faded, replaced now with a faint, tender affection.
Was I slowly becoming one with Anastasia?
“Would you like to write a reply now?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded as if possessed. Visiting the forest could wait until tomorrow.
Illyna spread out writing paper, a quill, and an ink bottle on the desk. I could do this much myself, but she was always desperate to do even one more thing for me.
Chewing on chocolate, I began writing my reply.
To be honest, until just a few days before my family scattered to search for a cure, I hadn’t fully adapted to this reality and had kept an awkward distance.
The Sinclairs were strangers to me.
But since Anastasia herself had never been very expressive to begin with, her family hadn’t suspected anything.
Yevgeniya Sinclair had once said this to me when I hesitated to open my heart.
I can’t even remember the last time you smiled.
I wasn’t the Anastasia Sinclair they knew.
Still, I had a vague sense of how my story would end, and the family clinging to even the faintest hope weighed heavily on me.
So, impulsively—perhaps helplessly—I blurted it out.
Please don’t go. Just stay by my side. I’m going to die anyway.
Anastasia Sinclair had never opened her heart, not even to her family. She stood apart from everything.
She observed others from a distance, as if detached from the world, and once she learned she had an incurable illness, she let even that go.
In the original story, Anastasia was unmotivated and calm to a fault. People found her difficult to deal with.
Only Oscar Sinclair—famous for his lack of tact—would tease her relentlessly, lightening the mood.
I wasn’t the Anastasia Sinclair they knew, but I didn’t want her to remain in their memories as “the difficult child” or “the daughter who felt distant despite being family.”
And somehow, I felt that Anastasia herself would’ve wanted the same.
She must have wanted to express herself more to her family.
These feelings of regret and tenderness I felt were surely influenced by her as well.
“I’m done!”
The letter was filled with everyday stories, mild complaints about meals gradually becoming healthier thanks to Adele’s advice, and plenty of chocolate-related whining.
While replacing the water in the kettle, Illyna happened to glimpse my letter and let out a small laugh.
“Even after Young Master Oscar teased you so much, you still add cat whiskers to your question marks.”
“Huh? I do?”
I stared at the page in confusion. Without realizing it, I’d drawn two short lines at the curve of every question mark.
So that had been Anastasia’s habit. Fascinated, I sealed the envelope.
“Shall I send it right away?”
“Please.”
“I’ll be back quickly!”
Illyna dashed off. I counted how many sheets of paper were left.
Since I’d already picked up the pen, should I write to Father and my brother too?
In the end, after exhausting myself writing long, detailed letters to the rest of the family, I headed out the next day.
I felt oddly proud of myself. Look at me—so meticulous, scouting a date location in advance!
Since the goal was sightseeing, I took a carriage with three large windows. My loosely half-tied hair fluttered in the breeze.
The world seemed wrapped in soft, golden light. Ahh, I hope the weather’s this nice when I go out with Adele too.
That peaceful thought was abruptly interrupted by a girl trudging along the road ahead.
She had warm-colored hair and walked with her eyes fixed on the ground. When she briefly lifted her head, her watery eyes sparkled.
“Isn’t that Olga?”
If she bumped into something walking like that, it would really hurt.
True to her role as a heroine constantly getting into trouble, Olga wasn’t accompanied by a single escort knight. No one would catch her if she fell.
I signaled the coachman to stop and leaned out the window.
“Olga!”
Startled, Olga looked around before spotting me.
“Anastasia?”
“It’s been a while. How have you been?”
I thought I greeted her quite warmly, but Olga flushed shyly.
“Well, I’m always…”
She trailed off awkwardly, clutching the hem of her dress.
She always sewed embroidery given by her much younger sister onto her dresses—even though it didn’t match any outfit at all.
I leaned out farther.
“Is something wrong?”
Olga looked up at me with large, shimmering eyes filled with frustration.
So—so cute. Like a puppy.
“Olga, would you like to ride in the carriage? I’d like to talk.”
I opened the carriage door without hesitation. Looking unsure if this was the right decision, Olga climbed in.
In the original story, people could tell exactly what Olga was thinking just by looking at her face. I finally understood why.
I gave her a moment to adjust. Trying not to stare at the ruby-and-velvet-decorated interior, she spoke.
“I was on my way back from seeing Ash. I went to borrow a book, but… he was enjoying a rather extraordinary party with a very beautiful young lady, so I just came back.”
Since the Count of Florescence wasn’t wealthy, Olga often used Ash’s library.
“A very beautiful young lady” and “an extraordinary party.”
I felt a faint sense of dread.
“Did this very beautiful young lady happen to have black hair?”
“Yes.”
Haha… villainess unni.
“I think I briefly forgot that Ash lives in a different world from me. I’m sorry. I guess I got discouraged without realizing it.”
Olga lowered her gaze gloomily. Running into the villainess would definitely crush anyone’s confidence.
Her presence really was overwhelming. Even in the original story, Olga had been intimidated for quite some time.
Judging by her expression, she’d probably be stuck in an emotional pit for days.
Still, since she was the protagonist of a novel I’d once been deeply invested in, I couldn’t help but care.
“Olga, are you busy today? I’m on my way to the Forest of Repentance. Want to come with me?”
She tilted her head.
“GreenGriad? You were going there alone? What if you collapsed on the way—”
Hey. You’re not the one with an incurable disease, yet you’re the one always getting hurt.
After staring at me intently, Olga suddenly straightened, resolute.
“I’ll go.”
“I hope it helps lift your spirits.”
I ended the conversation and gestured to the coachman.
As the carriage slowed on a steeper path, Olga kept glancing at me.
If you have something to say, just say it. Watching her fidget made me restless.
I smiled at her whenever our eyes met. Only just before we arrived did she finally speak.
“Um, Anastasia.”
Finally!
“Yes?”
“How has Young Lord Magnus been lately?”
I blinked, having expected her to mention Ash.
“He’s the same as always?”
“If you don’t mind me asking… what kind of relationship do you two have? You’re not… especially close, are you?”
Her question clearly carried the hope that I’d deny it.
If I hadn’t merged with Anastasia Sinclair, would their story have ended the same way as in the original? If I hadn’t grown greedy over Adele?
I thought of the male lead who lived as a model of righteousness. A man without a shadow to his soul.
No matter how badly someone wronged him, he forgave them. He never got angry.
He lacked very human desires—anger, sorrow, despair, possessiveness.
I’d dismissed it as just fiction back then, but looking back, it was unsettling.
Was the love he showed really love?
“I—I didn’t mean anything bad by it! I just heard that he treats everyone equally. I couldn’t understand how someone like that could favor one person, so I just…”
Seeing my delayed response, Olga panicked.
Was it really that hard to believe Adele cherished me?
I’d thought so myself at first, but hearing it from someone else felt strange.
Just then, the carriage jolted as it came to a stop.
“Oh, we’re here!”
Perhaps regretting her question, Olga hurried out of the carriage as if fleeing. I followed her onto the forest path.
Her eyes widened.
“Ash told me GreenGriad was safe, but I never imagined it would be this beautiful.”
The Forest of Repentance—also called GreenGriad—was a mysterious place where trees grew from a single, connected root system.
It had existed even before the Empire was founded—perhaps even before humans settled the land. As ancient as it was, it inspired many strange tales.
Some claimed to have seen the ghost of a headless knight riding through the forest.
Yet the forest was unbelievably lush for a place rumored to host such terrifying specters.
Bright sunlight washed over the edges of the woods.
There were no dark corners, and it wasn’t so dense as to block passage—perfect for leisure. There were no dangerous beasts either.
Maybe Ash spread those rumors just to keep the forest to himself.
I stretched lightly.
“Shall we take a walk?”
Olga hesitated shyly.
“Will your escort knight come with us? Will he walk behind us, or beside us…?”
“Just the two of us.”
Ah, it’ll be fine. I had the knight wait with the carriage.
If I blew the whistle, he’d come immediately—and right now, I was in excellent condition.
