Chapter 38 …
Benjamin, carrying a tray in one hand, was going down the stairs when he bumped into Joe, who was coming up holding a stack of documents.
Joe greeted him with a beaming smile.
“Good morning, Master!”
Benjamin, about to nod casually and pass by, called out to stop him.
“Butler.”
It was rare for Benjamin to call Joe over, so Joe’s face lit up as he looked at him.
“Yes, Master!”
“What’s that?”
“Oh, these are the documents the Lady requested.”
Benjamin took a few of the papers Joe was holding and flipped through them quickly.
The stack ranged from simple things, like receipts for banquet supplies and payroll settlements for dismissed servants, to more complex documents concerning taxes and military duties of the estate. It was truly a headache-inducing pile of papers.
Just glancing at them made Benjamin’s head spin.
“Bring them to my study next to the bedroom.”
Joe’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Is that alright?”
“Your lady isn’t feeling well today.”
Joe, startled, asked,
“Lady? Shall I call the healer?”
Benjamin hesitated for a moment.
Recalling Helena, pale and writhing in pain, he felt that it might be easier to let a healer take a look.
But he also understood Helena’s wish not to expose herself to a healer she didn’t trust.
Even if he were a healer, what if another man tried to check her pulse and grabbed her slender wrist…
Clang.
“Gah.”
Joe gasped in alarm.
Benjamin, regaining his composure, looked down at the tray in his hands. Perhaps from clenching it unconsciously, the metal tray had split in half.
He carefully held the broken tray with both hands to prevent the plates from falling and spoke.
“No healer. Instead, make sure Lady rests for the entire day.”
“Y-yes, I will.”
As he went down the stairs carrying the broken tray, Benjamin thought:
‘I should find a female healer as well.’
He had only entered into a pragmatic marriage out of necessity.
Yet even though only one person had come into his life, there was so much that needed changing.
Helena was in agony.
‘Ah… I’m going to die…’
A pain that felt like a hook scraping her insides never let up.
Whenever the pain subsided even slightly and she tried to catch her breath, a forgotten headache would start tormenting her.
If the abdominal pain was the kind that demanded gritting her teeth and enduring, the headache was the kind that made her want to bang her head against the wall and pass out.
“Damn it, curse it, bloody hell…”
Helena moved her dry lips and unleashed every curse she knew. She felt she had no other choice if she wanted to endure it.
“…Benjamin Issufern.”
And the anger seemed to be aimed deliberately at Benjamin.
No, Benjamin had deserved it.
She was prone to anemia and severe menstrual cramps before and after her period, but it was rare for the pain on the first day to be this bad.
She didn’t even need a healer to know the cause.
‘I’ve been overworking myself lately.’
Helena had never been this diligent by nature; if anything, she had been lazy.
Before her marriage, she would wake groggily every morning long after the sun had risen, roused only by a cup of rose dew tea brought by her maid.
Her daily routine after that mostly involved lazing about and teasing her younger siblings.
Her real day began only after sunset.
When the sun started to set, she would adorn herself in jewels and dresses, regaining her vitality.
By night, she would shine like a star, heading to extravagant banquets in the royal capital.
She would enjoy the night’s brilliance to the fullest.
That was the life of Helena Winston.
‘Not running around worrying about trivial cleaning, household, or money issues.’
Biting her dry lips, Helena ruminated her resentment toward Benjamin.
‘If it weren’t for that man, Benjamin Issufern… I wouldn’t be in this state…!’
As she tried to straighten her back, grinding her teeth against the pain, a new ache in her spine made her gasp.
“Ugh…!”
It seemed the strain of whipping her frail body about was finally taking its toll.
She felt her vertebrae and pelvis crack and groan. It was as if her bones and flesh were separating.
“Ugh…”
Tears welled in her eyes.
“I… I want to go home…”
She longed for the Winston estate.
The healer there was a master of painkillers, which would let her forget all suffering and drift into a deep sleep.
Helena yearned desperately for those remedies.
Her maids, too, were invaluable.
Whenever she needed something, the perceptive maids would provide it before she even asked.
Warmly wrapped stones to hold, sweet chocolate, cool lemon water—everything.
Not only that, they would discreetly mask the scent of blood in the fireplace and massage her chilled feet.
“Ah… Eliza, Ayra, Henry…”
Whenever she was in pain, her siblings would sit around her bed, waiting until she felt better.
Eliza would soothe her with chocolate, Ayra combed her tangled hair, little Henry pressed against her aching back to give warmth.
She missed them terribly.
“Stepmother, Father…”
Her ever-healthy Mia would scold her to stop whining, yet order the maids to care for her well.
The Winston count would send her favorite foods, knowing she often skipped meals when unwell.
“Ugh…”
Sobbing, Helena gradually drifted into shallow sleep.
Yet her bed offered no comfort.
Perhaps due to the pain, she had nightmares for the first time in a while.
Even in her dreams, she was fighting Benjamin.
Blaming each other, they argued when suddenly the door swung open, and Empress Clarissa entered.
In a loud voice, Clarissa said:
“Helena, I am disappointed in you.”
“Why… Why, Your Majesty?”
Benjamin held the flustered Helena and spoke.
“Because… the one I love is you, Helena.”
Helena groaned and grabbed Benjamin’s curly bangs.
“Are you insane?”
“I’ve liked you since childhood.”
“Are you truly crazy? We didn’t even meet in childhood!”
Henry cried loudly.
“Waaah! Sister, don’t get married!”
Helena pounded her head and shouted:
“Henry, stop! You’re noisy!”
Next moment, the door burst open again, this time revealing Crown Prince Rufus, Adela Byard, Duke Byard, David Cowan in a pink shirt, Sir Turlough with terrible breath, and Uncle Plon.
They lifted Helena and stuffed her into a sack.
“Ugh! Ugh! Let me go!”
Struggling for air, Helena twisted her head back and forth.
They placed her on some damp floor.
It felt bone-chilling.
Helena shut her eyes tightly.
Even in the dream, she knew it was a dream—she had had it dozens, maybe hundreds of times.
“Don’t open your eyes.”
But the silence in the dream was heavy and suffocating like iron, stretching on endlessly. It would not end as long as she kept her eyes shut.
Eventually, Helena had no choice but to open them.
Before her lay another Helena.
“Ah…”
A nameless, overwhelming fear swept over her. She trembled, unable to make a sound.
The other Helena whispered something.
“No. I don’t want to hear it…!”
Helena struggled desperately against it.
“…?”
Benjamin, worried, returned to the bedroom and witnessed a strange sight.
Helena, covered by the blanket up to her head, was flailing like a fish pulled from water.
Normally, he would have ignored it, assuming she was just being dramatic. But today, he worried it might be due to her illness.
Benjamin gently lifted the blanket.
“Huh… Hhh…”
Inside, Helena’s face was pale, sweating coldly, and her body trembled like a seizure.
Startled, Benjamin shook her shoulders.
“Helena.”
