They were almost always together anyway.
“Kang sunbae? It’s me. Park Haein.”
“Oh? Oh—hey! I didn’t recognize the number. You changed it, right. Yeah.”
“Yes.”
“So this is our first call since then, huh? You’re something else, Hae-in. Anyway, are you done unpacking? If you are, maybe we can come by. Or if you’re still unpacking, we could come help—what do you think?”
“Thank you for offering, but I think I’ll manage. It’s just a small rooftop room, so there’s really nothing to see. I’ll come visit you guys soon instead.”
“No, no, you see… I-young’s been dying to go. She even bought a housewarming gift already! You know how impatient she is.”
Something about his tone set off alarms. Hae-in wasn’t the most perceptive person, but Sumo was a terrible liar—it was easy to tell when he was hiding something.
“You’re trying to bring that man with you, aren’t you?”
“…Ah, well… uh…?”
Her eyes darted to the stack of sketchbooks on the bookshelf. Beside them lay a thick pile of portraits she couldn’t bring herself to throw away.
Those don’t prove anything. I just drew them because he kept bugging my mind. That’s all. It doesn’t mean anything.
And that man—well, he wasn’t a bad subject to draw. Portraits weren’t her specialty, but she had to admit he was… compelling.
He had that peculiar sensuality. That’s why she’d drawn him so much. Anyone would find him memorable. And seeing those sketches must’ve just inspired her, that’s all.
Hae-in convinced herself of that.
“He… gave me something. I want to return it. Could you tell me his address? If not, I’ll just bring it next time I visit.”
“Hae-in…”
“I really don’t want to see him.”
Her heart raced—in a way that felt foreign and terrifying. But she swallowed those words. She knew exactly how they’d sound if she said them aloud.
“He took a leave of absence just to look for you,” Sumo said quietly.
“…What?”
“He said you two lived together. He wears two rings—one’s yours. You… left it behind.”
“If I left it, that means I meant to. What difference does it make?”
Forgot it?
As if she’d ever forget something that important.
“Just give him one chance, please. I know it might be scary… but if he were actually dangerous, I’d never ask.”
“It’s not fear,” she murmured.
“It’s… something else.”
It wasn’t that she was afraid of him. It was that she couldn’t handle it. She was already so lost, so confused—she didn’t want the man who made her feel even more unsteady anywhere near her.
“He looked desperate, Hae-in. He’s the kind of guy who usually does everything easily, but with you… he’s so careful. If you can’t trust him, then trust me. I’m worried about both of you.”
“…Ugh.”
“If he ever crosses the line, I swear I’ll step in and stop him. Please, just meet him once. Maybe it’ll help you remember something.”
She knew it wouldn’t. Her memories were gone for good—she could feel it.
It wasn’t like they were blacked out, waiting to be scratched at until they resurfaced. No—her memories felt like they were buried deep underwater. Out of reach. Lost somewhere she could never touch.
She sighed. But Sumo’s voice was so pleading she couldn’t bring herself to say no.
Why am I always so soft?
“Just once.”
“Thank you!”
“If he acts like a stalker, I’ll call the police! I mean it!”
“Got it! So when can we come? When’s good for you?”
Hae-in decided the first thing she’d do was hide those sketches. If he saw them, he’d never let it go.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
The building was old—a real estate office run by her mother on the first floor, a family home on the second, and a small rooftop room above that.
Incidentally, the second floor was where Hae-in had grown up. She still slept there sometimes.
“Hae-in! I missed you!”
“Min sunbae.”
“Thanks for having us! Here—this is for you.”
As soon as she stepped onto the rooftop, I-young hugged Hae-in warmly, while Sumo handed her a large, gift-wrapped box.
It was about the size of a fan—too big for her to hold with one hand.
“Oh, sorry, sorry! I’ll carry it in for you. It’s an air purifier. You should use it when you paint—those acrylic and oil fumes are nasty.”
“That’s way too expensive… You really didn’t have to.”
“It’s nothing. Sumo and I chipped in.”
“Thank you. Really.”
Technically, she’d just moved back to her old home, but I-young’s kindness still touched her. Feeling a little emotional, Hae-in heard I-young whisper close to her ear.
“And Sumo’s cousin pitched in too. Should I not have brought him? Want me to ditch him next time? Hm? What do you say?”
“…It’s fine. I’ll handle it. I’m not a child.”
“If it gets to be too much, you’ll tell me, okay?”
“Yes.”
“I get why you came back now. The view up here’s amazing.”
Smiling, I-young strolled to the railing, and Sumo followed, clearly giving the two of them some space.
“…”
“Thanks for having me,”
said the man, standing quietly behind them.
It was obvious they had arranged this moment for her and the man to talk. Hae-in bowed her head politely toward him.
Though she hadn’t invited him willingly, he acted as if this were some grand, formal occasion, standing there with perfect courtesy.
“This is my gift… uh, where should I put it?”
She didn’t take the box from his hands. She only looked at him for a long moment—not to make him feel awkward, but simply because, like before, she couldn’t take it with both hands.
Hae-in forgot to be wary and took a step closer to the man.
As she stared at the gift in his hands, she couldn’t help but wonder whether it was just a coincidence—or if he’d bought it deliberately, knowing.
“A flowerpot…?”
It was a camellia tree.
“This much is fine, right? I wanted to get you something better, but I figured it might make you uncomfortable.”
“…This is perfect.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
Doesn’t he chew on that word “like” a bit too much?
Hae-in blushed for no real reason.
Reaching out toward the pot he was holding, she felt a strange mix of emotions.
Did he just buy a potted plant for the housewarming, and it happened to be my favorite flower tree?
That seemed unlikely—it was probably intentional. Most people gifted evergreen shrubs for housewarmings. The camellia, which bloomed only briefly each season, wasn’t exactly a popular ornamental plant for such occasions.
Seeing the camellia made Hae-in feel the absence of her immobile left hand even more acutely.
Her eyes drifted to the two rings on his left hand. Those rings bothered her endlessly.
Maybe it was because of what Sumo had told her—that they had once belonged to her.
Could that really be true?
It wasn’t as if it could be a lie.
The strange tug in her chest, the irrational desire to have the ring back—she could only explain it that way.
“I gave it to you that winter,”
he said suddenly, breaking the awkward silence.
“You said it was your favorite flower.”
“Where do you even find camellias in winter?”
“I got lucky. When I gave it to you…”
“When you gave it to me?”
She looked up at him while brushing her fingers against the glossy green leaves.
Why did he stop mid-sentence?
“I’ll tell you later.”
“Why?”
“You seem to have trouble accepting things right now. Let’s take it slow.”
“Who—who said anything about meeting again? You’re such a strange man.”
He had left her curious and then refused to explain, which annoyed her. Avoiding his gaze, she muttered under her breath. Whenever she looked into his eyes, something unbearable stirred inside her.
She wanted him to leave quickly—not because she hated him, but because she needed to regain her composure.
Hae-in felt deeply uncomfortable with how this man’s presence disrupted the calm rhythm of her quiet life.
“Did you look through the sketchbooks?”
he asked.
“I did. I’ll give them back today!”
“Alright. Then I’ll lend you this for now.”
Lend? Don’t tell me there’s a sequel to those sketchbooks.
From his arms, he pulled out something square and held it out to her. She thought it best to just take a quick look and hand it right back. Refusing things from him never really worked anyway—so it was easier to just get it over with.
“Uh… hmm?”
It was a small framed picture, slightly larger than her palm. She didn’t need him to say what he wanted her to see—the drawing inside made it clear.
And unmistakably, it was her color palette.
Some called it messy, others called it vibrant—but those chaotic colors were definitely hers.
It was a garden under moonlight, but it didn’t look Korean. There was something distinctly foreign about it.
“This… I might have drawn this…”
“You did.”
But she had no memory of it. That was why her eyes wavered in confusion. This was the most convincing piece of evidence he’d ever brought her.
It couldn’t just be someone imitating her style. The picture carried something only she would do—those little bad habits: like covering white space with blue because she couldn’t balance tones, or mixing yellow and purple in strange ways.
Even though the materials were different—colored pencils instead of paint—she could tell. This garden was definitely drawn by her own hand.
“You made it for me when we traveled together,” he said.
“You gave it to me as a gift.”
“…We traveled together?”
“Yeah.”
“Like… an ordinary couple?”
“That’s right.”
“Then why aren’t there any photos?”
The question came out before she could stop it, laced with frustration.
Just one picture would be enough.
If there were even a single photo of them smiling together, it would make everything easier to accept. She wouldn’t be so tormented by this constant confusion.
Maybe then… maybe she could rely on him a little more about the memories she’d lost.
“…You didn’t like taking photos,”
he said softly.
Though it wasn’t really an accusation, his apologetic tone made her feel oddly embarrassed.
“That’s true. I don’t like being photographed. But still… if we really lived together…”
“That’s my fault.”
“What is?”
“I was just too happy being with you. I never thought to take pictures. So there aren’t any. I’m sorry.”
At times, Hae-in couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something. That made it hard to fully trust him.
Something he wasn’t saying gnawed at her.
Why won’t he just tell me everything?
“…You,” she said finally.
“You’re hiding something from me, aren’t you? The only proof you’ve shown me is this painting, and you still want me to just blindly believe you. That’s too much.”
“You’re right,” he admitted.
“There is something I’m not telling you.”
“What is it?”
“But it’s something I don’t think you could possibly believe. It would confuse you more than even the idea that we were lovers.”
What could possibly be more shocking than that?
To Hae-in, nothing seemed harder to accept than the fact that she had supposedly dated this man.
“Maybe someday,” he said quietly.
“But right now… it’s too soon. If I told you, you’d just think I was crazy.”
“…You keep saying ‘someday,’ but that makes it sound like we actually have a future together.”
“Don’t we? Of course we do.”
“You’re awfully shameless.”
“Thank you. You liked that about me.”
I seriously doubt that.
He was the most shameless man Hae-in had ever met. No—“shameless” didn’t even begin to cover it. He was confident, almost arrogantly so.
While she was at a loss for words, he smiled as if amused.
“Actually, if you want proof, there’s something better. I can’t bring it here, but it exists.”
“What is it?”
“The people who saw us together. The neighborhood we used to walk in. The house we lived in.”
“Oh…”
“Come visit our neighborhood just once. I’m sure it’ll feel familiar.”
That was surprisingly logical—and persuasive. She wasn’t exactly eager to visit a strange man’s neighborhood, but he noticed the guarded look in her eyes right away.
“I won’t ask you to come inside,” he said.
“Just come with me to the animal hospital where I worked. You came there before—someone might recognize you.”
“…Really?”
“Even if not, being there might help you remember something.”
Just visiting the area should be fine, right?
Hae-in knew she was getting caught up in his pace. She was, in fact, already agreeing to see him again.
She thought of refusing—but the painting he’d brought, and his mention of possible witnesses, tempted her more than she cared to admit.
If someone asked whether she wanted her memories back, she would have said yes—even though, deep down, she knew they were gone for good.
Even if her memories had vanished, her feelings still lingered faintly.
She looked up at him carefully.
If I tell him that I’ll never get those memories back, that I just… feel that way—how would he react?
Her voice trembled when she finally asked,
“Even if I don’t remember us… do you really think we were together?”
“What, is that what you’ve been worrying about?”
“It’s not exactly worry, it’s just… I don’t remember a thing. And even if it’s true, I don’t think I could bring those memories back. I just… don’t know what to think.”
He was still holding the flowerpot. The way he smiled as he spoke made something in her chest tighten.
“Just because the memories are gone doesn’t mean the time disappeared too. It doesn’t mean we disappeared. I think what matters is that we still exist—that there’s still something we can do together, from now on.”
That tenderness in his voice—his affection—made her heart ache. She had never been anyone’s “special person” before. She’d never felt she deserved to be.
Since she couldn’t understand why he loved her, she couldn’t even be sure this love was truly hers. That was the confusion that consumed her—an endless tangle of doubt and the loss of her own identity.
“Hey… that leave of absence you took. Sumo said it was because of me. Is that true?”
“…I wasn’t in any shape to work. I was half in a panic.”
“Why would you be?”
He didn’t look like the kind of man who’d ever panic. When she tilted her head, puzzled, he gave a faint, unreadable smile.
“I just wanted to focus on finding you.”
There he goes again, dodging the question.
He was full of secrets—too many. Hae-in couldn’t help but wonder what exactly he wasn’t telling her.
But seeing her standing there, curiosity written all over her face, he suddenly laughed.
“Funny, isn’t it? You used to be the one full of secrets. Now it’s me.”
For some reason, his laughter tickled her. It made her toes curl, her throat tighten, her breathing go uneven.
“I used to have a lot of secrets?”
“Yeah, tons. You always kept me guessing.”
“I don’t think I’d ever play mysterious. I’m terrible at lying, and there’s nothing in my life worth hiding. Are you sure the person you’re looking for isn’t someone else? Maybe just someone who looks like me?”
“You’re still such a skeptic,”
he said, amused.
“Ugh.”
“You never trust the people who love you. You’re always confused about why someone would love you, like a stray cat that doesn’t know what to do when someone feeds it.”
That hit home so hard she had nothing to say. He had seen right through her nature, and she couldn’t deny it.
“I don’t think I found the wrong person,” he said gently.
“I followed what you left behind—and it led me to you.”
“…”
“And I don’t think I’m stupid enough to mistake someone else for you. I’m sure of who you are—even if you’re not.”
Everything about them was tangled in questions. So many that it felt suffocating.
Had they known each other? Probably.
Had they dated? Probably that too.
But whenever she tried to piece it together, one question always surfaced:
If that’s true… then why did I leave him?
Did she lose him because she lost her memories?
Or had she wanted to leave?
Had she hated him enough to forget?
Without her memories, she couldn’t know.
“Come to our neighborhood once,” he said.
“It’s the only way I can prove it.”
Her body remembered what her mind couldn’t. Every time he smiled, she could feel it—something inside her stirred in recognition. That was the only thing she could still trust.
“…Alright. I’ll go,” she said quietly.
“Really? Then when’s good for you?”
“Well, I’m basically unemployed, so… sometime soon.”
“Tell me the day, and I’ll come pick you up.”
She nodded. Maybe if she went to his neighborhood, she would finally learn something.
“It’s been a while since our last date,”
he said suddenly.
A date?
She froze, looking up sharply.
“Why is this a date?”
“What else would it be?”
Wait. If it’s just the two of us, does that automatically make it a date? It’s not like this is business… but still…
As she fumbled for words, he stepped closer.
Their toes touched. Before she could back away, he leaned in and murmured,
“I’ll set the day… and come for you.”
I’ve really fallen into his pace,
she thought helplessly.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
“Hae-in.”
Was he calling her name?
Was that really… my name?
No, more importantly—did he always say it like that, with that much warmth?
Hae-in looked toward the man waving at her from inside the café and stepped closer.
“…Hello.”
“I got here a little early, so I ordered coffee. Oh—do you want anything?”
He came all the way to pick me up, and now we’re having coffee together? That’s way too date-like.
She shook her head quickly, but he was already getting up, leading her toward the counter.
“They’ve got cocoa here,” he said.
“Ah—”
“One cocoa, please.”
“Wait, I’ll have coffee! An Americano!”
She hadn’t planned on ordering anything, but she blurted it out in embarrassment. She really loved cocoa, but it felt too childish—something she only drank alone, in secret.
Did I seriously drink cocoa in front of this man?
At Haein’s sudden protest, the man looked genuinely puzzled.
“But you like cocoa.”
“…Ahem. I can drink coffee too, you know.”
“You’re going to dump in a ton of syrup.”
“Maybe… two pumps?”
When she lifted two fingers, he chuckled softly, and that made her face burn.
This man knows way too much about me.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
Maybe because the weather had turned warm, everyone in the café was dressed in bright, spring colors. Hae-in glanced down at her own clothes and regretted not wearing something lighter.
She was used to dressing in dark clothes so paint wouldn’t show on them, and as a result, her closet was full of dull tones.
I don’t even have anything bright to wear… I knew this was kind of like a date, but I did try, at least a little.
“Next time, relax and just have cocoa.”
“…Who said there’s going to be a next time?”
“Hmm, you say that, but you still agree to meet me.”
Hae-in pouted as she picked up the coffee he’d brought her. Normally, people didn’t read her this easily—but she was also an expert at running away when she wanted to.
This man, though… he already knew everything. It made any defense feel pointless.
“Park Haein.”
“…Yes?”
“Hae-in.”
“What, is my name that… fascinating to you?”
Why does he keep saying it?
What a strange man.
At her mild complaint, he rested his chin on his hand and smiled lazily. His voice almost sounded like a laugh.
“It’s a pretty name. That’s all.’
“…Well, I don’t usually let anyone besides family or close friends call me by my name.”
“So?”
“It’s just… a little embarrassing.”
“Then should I call you Ms. Hae-in, like Sumo does?”
But even that didn’t help—the way he said her name had a completely different tone. It still made her heart flutter uncomfortably. It was as if he enjoyed the act of saying her name, savoring every syllable. It felt unfair.
“Just… call me whatever you want.”
“Ah, I like it when you call me Kang.”
“…Kang? Did I ever call you that?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Why would I? You have a perfectly good name—shouldn’t I be calling you Siyul? You’re older than me, too.”
There was a five-year age gap between them. He wasn’t someone she should be speaking to so casually. And besides, the name “Kang” sounded far too intimate—something only close lovers might use.
“Do you know why you called me Kang?”
“Why?”
“Because you didn’t want to say my real name. You didn’t like me at first.”
“…Hmm? But ‘Kang’ sounds friendlier. It sounds like a pet name. Kang.”
“I think so too.”
Kang. Kang. Kaaang.
She mouthed the name a few times before realizing she’d fallen into his rhythm again. The very act of deciding what to call him carried an unspoken promise—like there would definitely be a next time.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
He parked the car in an ordinary apartment complex. It looked so typical that she couldn’t tell if it was familiar or not.
No matter how much she looked around, she couldn’t quite believe she had lived there.
She’d secretly hoped something might spark her memory—a flicker of déjà vu, a sense of belonging—but nothing came.
“Let’s stop by the hospital first. It’s nearby.”
“…Okay.”
“It’s just across the park.”
Even as she walked, she kept glancing around, but in the end, she had to admit—this was all completely new to her.
Maybe the only thing familiar was the sky… but the sky was the same everywhere.
It’d be nice if something felt familiar, just one thing.
Siyul followed a step behind her as she scanned her surroundings. When they exited through the back gate of the apartment and reached the park entrance, he finally spoke.
“By the way.”
“Yes?”
