Did I really have a boyfriend…? Me? Could it be that the two of them just misunderstood something?
Hae-in stopped lying down and crawled toward her mother, who was watching a drama rerun on TV. She pressed herself against her mother’s familiar back, wrapping her arms around it. The scent and warmth made her feel a little calmer, even though her chest was still filled with that scratchy, restless anxiety.
To quiet it, she hugged her mother tighter.
Then suddenly, she had the strange feeling that she’d often hugged someone’s back like this before. The memory was vague—but that back had been broader, firmer.
Was it Dad? Or… someone else I can’t remember, but maybe once existed…?
“Mom.”
“Mm?”
Her mother didn’t even look away from the screen. It was frustrating, but there was no one else Hae-in could talk to about this.
“You know… I think I had a boyfriend. Do you know anything about that?”
“…Ah, you did say something like that once. You did.”
“Couldn’t you have told me that sooner?!”
So I really was the only one who didn’t know?!
Hae-in snapped, shouting right into her mother’s ear. Her mother turned around at last, but only with a puzzled look—as if she couldn’t understand what the big deal was.
At that moment, Hae-in realized with absolute certainty that her own chronic lack of interest in other people’s business came straight from her mother.
“Why? Was that important?”
“Of course it was important!”
“How was I supposed to know? You just mentioned it in passing over the phone once. How was I to tell if it was serious or not?”
“…What exactly did I say?”
“Hmm, what was it you said…”
And there it was again—her mother’s trademark impatience. She was already looking back at the TV, ignoring her daughter’s growing panic.
Hae-in squirmed and shook her mother’s shoulders.
“Think, hurry! Ugh, can you stop watching the drama for five minutes?”
“When you get old, your memory doesn’t work that well. Let’s see… the guy you were dating…”
“…Yeah?”
“…Ah, you didn’t tell me much. I didn’t ask, so I don’t know, dear.”
“Argh! Seriously?!”
“Well, I did ask what he did for a living. But you just brushed it off and hung up. So how would I remember? If it was that important, you should’ve brought him home to meet me! You can’t just throw a tantrum now.”
It seemed like everyone around her was utterly useless. They all seemed to know something, yet when she tried to get answers, it always turned out they didn’t know anything at all.
Frustrated, Hae-in rolled around on her bed, kicking at the blankets—until her mother whacked her on the back, complaining about the dust.
“Ow!”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’re too old for this nonsense!”
How can she be so heartless?
Hae-in glared at her mother—her own mother—and thought she really was a tough woman. Then again, everyone in the neighborhood said Ms. Lee was famous for her fierce personality.
It was that same steel that made people admire her—raising a daughter alone and still managing to send her to art school.
Really, it was no wonder Hae-in had grown up so guarded, so sharp-edged—like a wary wild animal.
“How can you not know, Mom? Your own daughter had a boyfriend!”
“I can’t hit a grown woman, can I…”
“Mom, please think harder, okay? It’s important!”
“When have you ever told me anything about your personal life, and now you’re pestering me for answers? Honestly! When did you get so whiny? Where did you even learn to act spoiled like this?”
“…Ugh.”
She had to admit, it was strange. When she fussed and whined like this, it almost felt like someone would show up, gently soothe her, and grant all her wishes.
That someone, however, was definitely not her mother.
When her whining didn’t work, Hae-in just lay flat on her stomach and mumbled complaints into her blanket.
“I heard other moms take care of their sick daughters twenty-four hours a day, cook them whatever they want… but my mom only nags! Maybe you’re not even my real mom—ow!”
“You’re asking for a beating, I swear! Let me just watch my drama! And are you even using the rooftop room or not? If you’re not, I’m renting it out.”
“…I’ll use it…”
she muttered in a tiny voice.
She was sulking, but she still had her priorities straight. Since she was giving up her studio, the rooftop room was going to be essential.
“Then I won’t rent it out?”
“I’ll clean it up and use it as a workspace.”
“Two hundred a month.”
“…Mom!”
“Hey, that’s a bargain! I’m giving you a huge discount. I can’t take a loss either, you know.”
“You know I don’t have money!”
“Then get a job. Honestly, if you laze around any longer, are you even human? Even a stray cat on the street is more useful than you.”
Yep. Definitely not my real mom.
Hae-in pouted hard, but when her mother shot her a glare, she immediately forced a smile.
Still, she liked being with her mother. She was glad she wasn’t alone. Even after being scolded, she clung to her mother’s back again.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
Hae-in was on her way to the studio early in the morning to meet the moving company for a quote. For some reason, though, her mood was terribly heavy.
She’d felt off ever since she woke up, and the closer she got to the studio, the worse it became.
Is it because of that dream again?
She sometimes dreamed of a place that was nothing but white—so pale it was almost colorless. That was all there ever was.
She’d wander through a sea of mist for what felt like hours. Just when she thought she heard someone calling her name and turned around, she would wake up.
Even if she tried to follow the light, it would only lead her to the sunlight spilling through her own window in the morning.
Sometimes, it felt like she’d been holding someone’s hand—but when she opened her eyes, it was only her mother’s.
In that hazy world, she would occasionally hear the flutter of wings, or the distant roar of some wild beast. And she’d always feel like there was someone else there with her, even though no matter how much she searched, she could never find them.
That was how those dreams always ended—with a vague unease that lingered even after she woke up.
“…Guess it’s just another meaningless dream.”
Or maybe, she thought wryly, it was heaven’s way of telling her not to move. Every time she tried to deal with something related to the move, she’d have that dream—and her mood would plummet.
Maybe something sweet would fix it.
She stopped by the convenience store at the bottom of the hill and bought a lollipop, the poor substitute for the cookies she was suddenly craving.
She started up the incline toward her studio, sucking the candy and thinking absently about freshly baked sweets.
“Hm-hmm, hmm.”
Summer was coming, the sun was fierce, and she pulled her cap low while plugging in her earphones.
When had she started to enjoy walking like this? She used to hate going outside. Sitting blankly alone in her room was always her preference.
But lately, she couldn’t stand staying indoors for long. If she wasn’t walking somewhere, she’d feel uneasy, like she was supposed to be searching for something.
She wandered aimlessly, even though she knew spacing out like that could be dangerous.
“The weather’s way too nice,”
she murmured, tilting her head back to look at the sky.
In the past year, she’d come to realize a few things about herself—and one of them was that she actually liked herself now.
She had also learned how to feel good again.
It was like she’d been digging a hole in the ground and finally decided to look up at the sky.
Before, she had been full of complaints and criticism toward herself—harsh, relentless, constantly disappointed by how ordinary she was.
But now… after the confusion of her memory loss had settled, all that didn’t seem so important anymore.
Her left hand still wouldn’t move, but that was fine. It wasn’t so tragic.
Even though she couldn’t draw much these days because her mind wandered too often, she didn’t resent herself for it.
She still felt lovable. She still felt proud. It even seemed like she might be precious to someone, somewhere.
She didn’t know why she liked herself again—she just did.
Humming softly, she kept walking, until she noticed someone standing in front of her atelier.
Who’s that?
She still had plenty of time before the movers were supposed to arrive, and the man didn’t look like a worker.
Maybe a passerby? Or a visitor?
She walked past him, candy in her mouth, but her eyes flicked toward him once.
It wasn’t because he looked like he’d been crying, or because of the faint sigh that escaped him.
It was because of his hand.
He wore two rings on his left hand—one on his ring finger, and one on his pinky. Two simple bands, but the sight struck her as strange.
She wasn’t the type to care about other people’s accessories, but for some reason, her gaze caught on them. Maybe it was the way the sunlight reflected off the metal.
“Excuse me.”
“Yes?”
“Do you live here?”
“Sort of…”
Hae-in took a step back as the man suddenly addressed her. She tugged her cap lower, inching away instinctively—talking to strangers had never been easy for her.
She lowered her head even more to avoid meeting his eyes.
“By any chance, is there—”
“Huh?”
Just then, a gust of wind blew by, sweeping her cap right off her head.
She looked up like an idiot as it flew through the air. She reached out, but with only her right hand working, she couldn’t catch it in time.
Seriously, what kind of random wind is this on such a nice day?
Grumbling inwardly, she ran after it. The cap landed right at the man’s feet—of course it did.
She bent down to pick it up, brushing the dust off. But before she could put it back on, a shadow fell over her.
“….”
“…?”
When she looked up, the man was standing far too close. Normally, she would have panicked and backed away, maybe even fallen on her butt.
But his expression stopped her cold.
He looked… conflicted—like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Without realizing it, her lips parted. Even when he reached a trembling hand toward her, she didn’t move away.
For someone as shy as her, standing frozen like that was unthinkable.
“Uh… wha—?”
By the time she gasped in realization, his hands were already cupping her face. Startled, she dropped the lollipop from her mouth.
She swore, no man had ever touched her like this before.
Panicking, she tried to push him away.
But every time she moved, he caught her wrists easily—like he’d done it countless times before.
What kind of guy does this?!
“W-What the hell?!”
Even the boldest woman would have been terrified if a stranger did this to her. Who just grabbed someone’s face like that out of nowhere?
If someone struggled this much, any normal person would’ve let go. But instead, he looked into her face—like he was trying to confirm something—then suddenly pulled her into his arms.
What the hell—this lunatic!
He hugged her tightly. Too tightly.
So tight she could barely breathe.
Stunned, Hae-in didn’t even resist at first. Her strength seemed to drain out of her body.
Maybe it was because she’d never experienced something like this before—her shock left her weak.
Right. I’m just too startled. That’s all. It’s not because… it doesn’t feel bad or anything!
“Y-You—! You crazy pervert!”
She finally shoved him away, shouting. But the man, pushed back weakly, just laughed—like he was happy to hear her yell.
Why did he look so overjoyed?
He stepped toward her again, and she tried to step back—but her body wouldn’t move. Not from fear.
It was because his touch felt… familiar.
“You really don’t remember me?”
“…I don’t…”
His face suddenly filled with sorrow, and she almost started crying too.
It was strange. Avoiding a stranger’s touch should’ve been the obvious thing to do, but for some reason, it felt cruel—wrong.
It felt impossible to reject him.
Somewhere deep inside, she realized that allowing his touch felt far more natural than pushing him away.
As he stepped closer, she no longer acted like herself.
“So this is what you meant,”
he whispered softly.
The man’s trembling fingers brushed against her cheek.
“I’ve been looking for you every day… I was afraid you were crying.”
“….”
You’re the one crying,
she wanted to say—but she couldn’t. His voice, his touch—she couldn’t resist any of it.
Hae-in realized, with a pang, that she had been waiting for this man’s touch all along.
Otherwise, how could this overwhelming, inexplicable happiness have bloomed in her heart so suddenly?
“Do I… know you?”
she asked carefully.
His reply came out choked with tears.
“I’m here now.”
<Main story End>
