BTCATL 07

Chapter 7

“Asila!”

I froze at the sound of the voice as I quietly browsed books on spirits in the small, deserted library of the Grand Duke’s residence.

Long pink hair rippled through the air.

Her large green eyes sparkled even more brightly under the sunlight, and her cheeks were flushed.

Sarsha von Barte. The beloved flower of high society, cherished by the Grand Duke.

She was also the only daughter of Count Barte, one of the most prestigious families in the North.

A woman who was born with everything, the complete opposite of me—who had nothing to offer and resembled her in no way.

I bit my lip.

Ever since I came to the Grand Duke’s residence and gave birth to his heir, Sarsha had treated me as if I didn’t exist. But recently, she had been seeking me out more often.

Every time I saw her, I thought of the Grand Duke and the child who resembled him so closely. Even though I tried to avoid her, she always found where I was, like a ghost.

When I didn’t respond, several attendants behind her glared at me.

Among them was a maid who used to follow me around, calling me “Your Highness.”

How pathetic, to now be ignored by even the servants. I once thought they were kind. How foolish of me.

I forced a dry smile, feeling the deep misery of my current situation.

“What is it, Lady Barte?”

“As you know, Karl is out hunting monsters, right? I wanted to dress up nicely and go into town while he’s gone. There’s a tea party with the other ladies tomorrow. Could you watch over Serv while I’m out?”

Her bubbly voice echoed through the quiet library.

“…Serv?”

I repeated the unfamiliar name, and Sarsha looked as if she had been wounded.

“Oh my goodness…! You didn’t even know who Serv was, Asila? He’s the lovely child of me and Karl!”

She covered her mouth dramatically as if she might burst into tears. The gesture was so theatrical it could rival any stage actress. Her attendants rushed over to comfort her and cast sidelong glares at me.

Ah. So she was telling me to watch the child while she went out.

“You could leave him with the servants. I don’t think I need to be the one to babysit.”

Of course, nothing pleasant came out of my mouth. It irritated me that she called my name so familiarly without permission.

“Oh my, Asila, you’re the true mistress of this house, aren’t you? Sadly, I’m not even listed as Serv’s mother in the family registry. As long as you’re here, that won’t change. Karl doesn’t want to leave the child in the hands of strangers, so he won’t even let the servants look after him. But you’re not a stranger, so surely you can watch him, can’t you?”

What a ridiculous statement. Did she think the child was left alone when she went gallivanting through society with the Grand Duke?

And to say so casually that she wasn’t in the registry because I was still here—what a pointed remark.

A cold fury briefly flared in my mind.

I wanted to scream—how dare she say such a thing to me?

But—

“…Fine.”

I was tired.

Even exchanging words with this woman was exhausting. I didn’t want to have a scene with her in front of all the servants.

It was too much.

When I agreed, Sarsha let out a peal of laughter, as if she had expected it. Then, as if her business was done, she turned on her heel and left with her entourage.

I stared at her back for a moment, then looked down.

What was she up to?

That woman hated me.

I had spent my whole life walking on eggshells around my father, my mother, and the people of the imperial palace. There was no way I couldn’t sense the emotions of others.

Really, what mistress doesn’t hate the concubine—and what concubine doesn’t hate the mistress?

She hated me.

She must have found me disgusting. While she was in a relationship with the Grand Duke, she probably thought the position of duchess was rightfully hers.

The contempt and disgust I saw in her green eyes whenever she looked at me didn’t bother me much anymore.

Everyone looked at me like that. The only gaze that ever truly affected me was the Grand Duke’s.

But her suddenly approaching me like this was another matter. I couldn’t understand her motives.

The hatred in her eyes remained the same. Yet she kept seeking me out with a strange persistence, even looping her arm through mine and calling my name cheerfully.

It made me wonder if this was even the same person.

Was she trying to assert that I was beneath her in this household?

It was pointless.

The only thing that dragged me deeper into this nightmare was the Grand Duke’s cold eyes.

“Waaaaah! Mama! Waaaah!!”

Still, thinking Sarsha couldn’t hurt me any further… that may have been a mistake.

I blankly stared down at the crying child.

His chubby cheeks were red as he wept.

When our eyes met—those blue eyes full of tears—I quickly turned away.

“What the…!”

A nearby maid shot me a sharp glare, but I didn’t even look her way.

“Waaah! Waaaah, uwaaah!!”

“There, there, young master, please don’t cry! Look, here’s a toy!”

Just as one maid was about to scold me, the child, who had paused when our eyes met, began to cry again.

The flustered maid broke into a sweat, trying to soothe him.

His cries rang through the room, but none of it reached me.

I slowly ran both hands down my face. My chest ached.

The child resembled the Grand Duke astonishingly well.

Not Sarsha von Barte—but Karl himself. His features, his coloring—it was as if he had created this child alone.

And because of that, it felt like a thorn pierced deeper into my heart.

I had once dreamed of a child like this.

While waiting for the Grand Duke’s rare monthly visits, I had imagined what a future heir might look like.

I never wanted the child to resemble me. I had hoped he would inherit the Grand Duke’s vivid eyes, hair, and features—so that the child could be more fully embraced by the North.

It was a dream I clung to when I still believed in his affection. And now, a child straight from that dream stood before me.

But not as mine and the Grand Duke’s child—as Sarsha’s and his.

It broke me even more, because I once believed that having his child would make him love me more.

Knowing that this child was born of Sarsha and the Grand Duke made me hate him.

I slowly approached the cradle where the baby lay.

The maid had left, perhaps stepping out.

Now, only the crying baby and I remained in the room.

If no one was watching…

I reached into the cradle—and froze.

“M-Mama…”

The baby, his blue eyes glittering with tears, suddenly smiled and grabbed my finger.

I sank helplessly to the floor in front of the cradle.

Thin tears I thought had long dried slipped through my trembling fingers.

If no one sees… what?

Was I really thinking of hurting this child?

Harming a baby who had done nothing wrong?

I hated myself for even thinking of hating this innocent child.

His bright blue eyes instinctively reminded me of the Grand Duke’s icy gaze.

I smiled faintly through the falling tears. If only he would look at me with these eyes—and smile.

This heart that still fluttered made me feel wretched. I wanted to tear it out—but I kept thinking of him, again and again.

Even now, I still loved him. It felt like I’d never even had the choice to stop.

Pathetic as it was, even if Sarsha was with him… if only he could be a little kind to me.

The soft sound of sobs and a baby’s laughter filled the quiet room.

The Next Morning

“Wake up!”

I jolted awake to a stranger’s rough shaking.

Startled, I sat up quickly, and the maid jumped back.

She wasn’t alone.

Several maids stood around the room, holding dresses and accessories, their faces sour.

I frowned.

Even though I was awake, I couldn’t grasp why the room was full of maids.

After Sarsha entered the household, none of the maids had come near my room. It was as if they had made a pact.

Why were they all here now?

“Asila!”

As I sat leaning against the bedpost in a silent standoff with the maids, an overly cheerful voice echoed through the room.

I slowly turned my head.

There stood Sarsha, who had entered without knocking, her arm wrapped around the Grand Duke’s, as if flaunting their relationship.

My face hardened.