Chapter 3
I Bought a Ghostwriter for Love Letters, and a Clerk Came as a Bonus (Part 1)
Knock, knock.
“Sir Clerk, it’s time to get to work.”
Startled by the unfamiliar voice, I bolted upright.
High-quality fabrics, a plush bed…
A scene I hadn’t experienced in weeks.
Right, I got a job.
At the House of Helphion, no less.
Knock, knock.
Another knock came, and I hurriedly responded toward the door.
“Oh, yes. I’m awake.”
“How would you like your meal? Shall I bring it, or will you have it in the dining room?”
“Since I don’t know the layout yet, I’d appreciate it if you could bring it here.”
“Very well. I’ll leave your meal at the door.”
The sound of footsteps gradually faded.
I got up and opened the door.
Freshly baked bread and steaming soup had been placed on the floor.
Sitting at the table, I scooped a spoonful of the soup.
A soft, savory flavor lingered in my mouth.
Delicious. And with warm food in me, I feel a little warmer too.
So, I really did get a job at the House of Helphion.
It’s starting to feel real.
Which means…
Starting today, I have to write love letters.
It’s a lucrative job, but somehow… the confidence I felt when I thought, I got a job at a duke’s house! shrinks instantly.
Sigh. But when money’s involved, I can’t be picky.
Alright. Time to reset and write.
I’ll show my writing skills to the duke—and to the young lady he secretly loves.
There was a time when I thought life was that simple and easy.
If I met my past self now, I’d probably say:
“Hey, run while you still can.”
From early morning, I sat across from the Duke in his study, pen in hand.
“Good. Then write the letter for me.”
“No, love letters don’t come out that easily. I don’t know the Duke personally, nor do I know his romantic partner.”
“Ahem, a romantic partner, you say? How embarrassing.”
Don’t show embarrassment, you over-two-meter muscular warrior!
“So, first, please calmly tell me how your love started to blossom.”
The Duke began to tell his story slowly.
It was said to be an ordinary morning.
“As usual, after breakfast, I intended to casually hunt down a Drake or two.”
“Casual, you say? How is that ordinary?”
“But having hunted Drakes daily, there weren’t any left near my estate.”
Ah, so it really was “as usual,” and that’s why the Drakes were gone.
“Yet a man’s resolve cannot be so easily changed. If none are nearby, why not run to the next estate to warm up your body?”
Right. This man is beyond my logic.
Thinking that way makes it easier to cope.
“After running for quite a while, I must have reached the border of the Delphi Kingdom.”
The border of Delphi Kingdom… even on horseback, that would take two days.
Post-breakfast exercise… or rather, never mind.
“That’s where I found the Drake I was looking for. But it was attacking a carriage. So I immediately cut it down and saved the people.”
And the young lady he saved was the eldest daughter of the highly esteemed Squaret family, famous across Delphi Kingdom.
“She commanded her servants with composure, as if facing death. It was so beautiful… I thought of her as a Valkyrie guiding the souls of warriors.”
Oh, this description really sounds like something the Duke would say.
I’ll remember this for the letter.
“So I approached her and, uh… confessed at first sight.”
“Excuse me?”
Wait, hold on.
This story escalates too quickly.
A carriage, a Drake, a noblewoman calmly commanding her servants while risking her life.
Then suddenly, a massive, muscular figure—half-ogre-like—jogs in, sweating profusely, and immediately slays the terrifying Drake.
I can’t picture the scene exactly, but it must have been grotesque.
The heat of exercise, sweat, the smell of monster blood…
And the first words this terrifying warrior says to the noblewoman:
“I fell in love at first sight…”
“Didn’t you get slapped?”
“You’ve been very casual with me.”
“Well, you said I could be casual with you.”
Of course, I know being “casual” doesn’t mean acting foolishly.
But the sheer frustration bubbling up inside me is unbearable.
What you’re saying sounds less like a Duke and more like a drunk neighbor!
“So, what was her reply?”
“Ahem… since we didn’t know each other well, I suggested exchanging letters first.”
I couldn’t maintain my composure.
That must have been a very careful refusal, given the Duke could’ve ended lives in a second if refused.
A courteous decline, in other words.
Hahaha… should I just quit now?
No. Money. I must think of money. I’m a professional.
The inheritor of the Akashic Records.
Even if I must pull knowledge from across the universe, I will make this love succeed.
“Okay… I understand. Now I know how you met. The opening of the letter can start with that beautiful memory.”
“Really? That’s tough. Just recalling it makes me embarrassed.”
“But now comes the real part. Talking about the past ends here; what you want to convey going forward needs the Duke’s input.”
The Duke frowned, not fully understanding my meaning.
“Simply put, decide whether you want to enjoy a sweet romance or share plans for a happy future with the young lady.”
“Marriage… marriage? Isn’t that too fast? Ahem… can it really be that easy?”
“Sir Duke, even at the fastest, letters can only be exchanged once or twice a month.”
“That’s too slow!”
“That’s the average speed.”
“Ugh…”
The Duke slumped back in his chair, frustrated.
Who would think this man is the universe’s ultimate hero?
“So now, we must convey sincere feelings. Good. Since it’s early, let’s go through the process of getting to know each other.”
Even in romance, there’s a procedure.
“It’s best to start by sharing your story before asking questions about the young lady.”
I picked up my pen.
“So, tell me—what did you do in the morning?”
“The morning? I did a horizontal slash exercise.”
“Horizontal… what?”
Is he serious? I stared at his face.
“Is that strange?”
“No… so you exercised in the morning? Exercise… alright, that could be beautifully described. Then, what about the afternoon?”
“Stabbing.”
“….”
I sighed.
“Sir Duke, I can’t write a letter just about exercise.”
“Really?”
“It’s the first letter to the House of Squaret. You need to introduce yourself, share stories, and offer conversation topics. Who fills a love letter with only exercise stories?”
The Duke just nodded without reacting.
Exactly. Getting angry at him is pointless.
I’ll just write that he trained during lunch. It will disguise the gap a bit.
“Then what about dinner… I hope you didn’t train with the sword at dinner?”
“No.”
Thank goodness.
“And in the evening?”
“Cardio.”
This crazy employer…
“No, I mean something exciting. Something that made your heart race, something sweet.”
“Ah, yes, there was.”
“You should’ve mentioned that first! I met you and fell in love! I changed because of you! That’s the appeal!”
I grabbed my pen again.
“So, after meeting the young lady today, what changed in you?”
“During the morning’s horizontal slashes, I realized I didn’t need to stick to straight lines for the fastest strike. Actually, curves can be faster than straight…”
I can’t deal with this. I threw the pen toward the Duke.
To the noble and fair Lady Titania, whose virtues and accomplishments will shine in the history of the Delphi Kingdom, daughter of the eminent Squaret family, the pride of its Prime Minister:
Greetings. I am Rodelaos de Helphion, head of the House of Helphion.
(Excerpt)
That day, your brave and decisive presence, like a Valkyrie of Valhalla, is still vivid in my mind. The sense of duty to save lives ignited like flames, and I charged forward as if a wildfire swept by the wind. Lady Titania, blinded by the flames of the scene, I… (Excerpt)
“I’m not writing a novel right now.”
I sighed and paused my pen.
I had been trying to write a letter based on the morning’s conversation… but now came the problem.
“How do I connect horizontal slashes and cardio?”
Horizontal slashes are at least easier.
What did the Duke say?
“…Curves can actually be faster than straight lines for horizontal slashes…”
Curves faster than straight lines…
I remembered reading a similar technique in the Akashic Records.
If I adapted it slightly, I could use it in the letter.
From a man who’s wielded swords all his life, it’s unfortunate that he lacks writing skill. I hope this brings joy to the young lady. I tell this tale from the Entil Empire in the East… There is a brave bird called a Hawk, with wings twice the size of my body. When swooping down to catch rats or snakes, it follows a curved line, not straight. Yet it ascends faster than any bird and catches its prey. People think the fastest path is straight, but that isn’t always the answer. Today, I realized this while swinging my sword…
Curves faster than straight lines…
I once read martial arts books with this concept and laughed it off.
Now, hearing the Duke explain this in detail, it clearly has real effect.
After all, it’s the Akashic Records—knowledge of the universe itself.
Surely there’s no worthless knowledge there.
I wondered if my two-year martial arts training could help.
I gripped my pen like a sword.
A fly landed on my desk, rubbing its legs. Thin wings, twitching legs.
The moment I met its gaze, it flew up.
Simultaneously, my pen—my sword—swept in a smooth curve.
And the fly split in half, falling onto the desk.
Is this the feeling? Not too difficult.
I readjusted my grip and practiced with the pen while the sensation was still fresh.
