BSPD 96

CHAPTER 96………………….

As I watched them huddled together, talking softly, I finally let out the breath I’d been holding.

We did it.

Even with the healing stone of the Rudel clan, there had been no certainty.

But both mother and child were safe. It was nothing short of a miracle.

“Then please take care of Lady Harisa and the baby sacred beasts.”

The midwife couldn’t even give a proper reply, too busy wiping away her tears. They were all veterans—Harisa would be in good hands.

Having safely completed my task, I managed to move my trembling legs and step outside the birthing room. I leaned against the wall, feeling my body go limp.

Lauren, who had been tearing up at the touching family reunion, followed me out. She spread her arms as if to hug me, then sheepishly lowered them when she noticed the bloodstains on her sleeves.

“Rinnegrim, you did so well! Thanks to you, everyone’s safe!”

“Hhhh…”

“Rinnegrim?”

As the tension drained away all at once, I slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

“I’m okay, senpai… I just… relaxed too suddenly.”

“So you do get nervous? What happened to that courage you had when you brought a knife to a divine beast’s belly?”

I chuckled at her words.

Who in the world doesn’t get nervous? Maybe Lucé—but he’s an exception, not a rule.

“Thank you, senpai. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“What are you thanking me for? I just tagged along as your assistant and ended up being useless.”

Lauren scratched her cheek, her hand still trembling slightly.

Thrown into a sudden real-life situation, she must have been confused—but she had supported me steadily throughout. Unlike her usual bubbly self, she’d been calm and rational. That would become one of her strengths.

“…Senpai, when I did my first dissection, I couldn’t eat for three days. I just kept gagging.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not easy to stay composed like you did. You really did great today. You were amazing, Lauren-senpai.”

Lauren’s eyes widened in surprise, then she blushed and smiled, looking almost shy. After a small cough, she tried to put on a serious expression.

“You do know your senpai here was top of the academy, right?”

“I know. You’ve told me enough times for my ears to wear out.”

At this point, if I didn’t remember after that much repetition, I wouldn’t be human.

“I’ve been praised for everything since I was little… but yours was the nicest compliment I’ve ever heard. Hehe.”

Now I was the one surprised. Lauren looked genuinely happy—delighted by the praise from a rookie, a kid who hadn’t even gone through proper training.

Of course, Lauren’s opinion didn’t represent the entire administration.

But still—being recognized by someone, anyone, always meant something.

If there’s even one person who truly believes in you, you can keep moving forward.

“…Thank you, senpai.”

“Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you! I just got to experience something priceless. Let’s hurry back and record everything before it fades from memory!”

Writing it down sounded good—it would help us remember every detail vividly. And yes, I definitely wanted to get back to our quarters.

The only problem was…

“My legs won’t move, senpai…”

“Huh?”

“When my tension breaks, my muscles break too! Please help me to the room!”

“I’d love to help but…”

Lauren lifted her apron, revealing her legs trembling uncontrollably. They were shaking so hard it almost hurt to watch.

“Sorry, Rinnegrim… I can barely keep myself standing…”

“It’s fine, senpai… go ahead without me… I’ll crawl if I have to…”

“What kind of senpai would I be if I left you like this? I’ll at least go get someone to help. Just wait here!”

“We could just rest a bit and—”

Ignoring my protest, Lauren braced herself against the wall and started moving forward. She looked like she might fall any second—but somehow, she kept her balance.

Left alone in the hallway, I stood leaning against the wall.

Through the slightly open door of the birthing room, I could still hear faint laughter and sniffles.

I listened quietly to those sounds of joy—so unfamiliar, yet comforting.

I knew that feeling—the happiness of a family thought lost returning again. What I didn’t know was how it would feel to give that happiness to someone else.

It was… strange.

Strange, but—

“…It’s nice.”

To think there’s something in this world that only I can do—it filled me with a quiet sense of duty and purpose.

Just a few hours ago, I’d been disappointed in myself. Now, my heart was light again.

“If I can’t fix everything, I’ll just do what I can do.”

Lucé had been right. The important thing was to do what I could.

I clenched my weak hand into a fist.

“I need to train the seniors fast. It’s the only way to make my life easier.”

“Lady Rinnegrim.”

A familiar low voice called out. Ethan was walking down the hall toward me.

“Sir Ethan? What brings you here at this hour?”

“I came at Lady Lauren’s request. Are you all right?”

“Other than being embarrassed to be seen like this, yes.”

Just like when I’d stumbled out of the underground prison after Taran’s death—another unsightly sight for him to witness.

Well, whatever. I’d already made a fool of myself once. Why stop now? I’d even done a somersault in front of the entire nation—what’s a little more?

“Then, Sir Ethan, may I trouble you to help me to my room?”

“I’m afraid I can’t simply support you.”

Wait—wasn’t that what he came for?

I hesitated, unsure whether to withdraw my hand, when his rough but gentle hands touched me.

“You’re small, my lady. So please forgive the impropriety.”

Before I could ask what he meant, his arms slipped under my back and knees, and he lifted me effortlessly.

My view shot upward, and instinctively I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Sir Ethan, just helping me walk would’ve been enough…!”

“I…”

His breath brushed my ear as he spoke softly, hesitantly.

“…wanted to hold you.”

I nodded wordlessly, stunned.

Did he really need to look that sorrowful just to say that?

I could only hope he didn’t hear my heart pounding as I stayed quietly in his arms.

“I heard you accomplished a great deed.”

“From Lauren-senpai?”

“Yes. Even while she was shaking, she couldn’t stop praising you. Her affection for her junior was touching.”

“I only did what I had to do.”

“No one else could have done it but you.”

I had thought the same thing earlier—that only I could’ve done it.

But hearing it from someone else—it was… embarrassing.

“…That’s flattering.”

Though really, he was the one who looked embarrassed. His face darkened.

“What—what’s wrong?”

“I swore to protect you, yet I’ve been of no help. I’ve never felt so worthless.”

It wasn’t just modesty—I could tell from his pale lips that he meant it.

“What are you talking about, Sir Ethan? Worthless?”

“When you were caught in the avalanche, when you witnessed that death in the prison… I did nothing.”

His sense of duty was so strong it bordered on self-punishment.

“Yet each time, you endured alone. And each time, I…”

I let go of his neck and cupped his face, lifting his gaze to meet mine.

“I wasn’t alone!”

Ethan’s lips parted in surprise, but I spoke first.

“I could endure because you were there. Because I knew you’d come for me in that blizzard. Because you led me out of that dark prison.”

“But that was—”

“That’s who you are, Sir Ethan. Someone whose very presence gives people strength.”

He fell silent. I smiled and let go of his cheek.

“I bet the knights under your command feel the same way. They rely on you more than you think, you know? You’re their dependable commander.”

“…I’ve been called a demon by my subordinates a few times, actually.”

“Real demons don’t get called that to their faces. And tell me—what kind of demon gently carries a trembling fool in his arms?”

Right?

When I patted his shoulder and looked up, his stiff expression finally softened. He let out a quiet, sighing laugh.

“It’s not kindness.”

His face drew closer. Tok. A soft warmth brushed my forehead.

“It’s selfishness.”

The touch was brief, but my skin burned as if scorched.

“Ever since that day we left the underground prison, I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Ugh…”

Unable to meet his eyes, I ducked my head and fiddled with my bangs.

“As you said you rely on me, I rely on you as well.”

“You… rely on me, Sir Ethan?”

“When I find myself staring into space and our eyes meet, I realize I’ve been watching you all along. When you’re not around, I… find myself worrying. And when I’m alone, I still think of you. If that’s not reliance, what is it?”

He smiled. My throat tickled. The conversation was taking a turn I hadn’t expected. What he described sounded less like reliance and more like…

“Sir Ethan…?”

I clasped my hands together, looking up at him. He froze for a moment, eyes wide, then gently set me down.

“…We’ve arrived. You must be tired—please rest.”

“Ah, y-yes… You too, Sir Ethan. And thank you!”

I quickly bowed, slipped into the room, and closed the door behind me.

Thud! Something heavy hit the door from the other side.

“Rinnegrim, you’re back?”

Lauren greeted me from the bed. I collapsed to the floor without answering.

“What’s wrong! Still can’t move your legs?”

“Huh? Y-yeah… I got hit by a sneak attack…”

“A sneak attack? By who?”