Chapter 54
“It’s okay.”
I am okay.
No—actually, I’m not.
But still…
I looked up at Michael. The long corridor was washed in the setting sun, and not a soul was around. The ducal castle was quiet.
Just a little while ago, I’d been surrounded by so many people—and now, it was just the two of us.
Maybe that contrast was why it hit me so strongly.
That it was only Michael and me.
Michael is on my side.
That thought eased my heart a little.
When all those nobles greeted me, I couldn’t even cry. I was afraid they’d find fault with something, so I just sat still, keeping my expression calm.
They bowed to the Duke in fear but looked at me with curious eyes.
And yet, every one of them was the head of their noble family.
A life under constant attention.
I hadn’t truly grasped what that meant until I met those people in person.
But now I think I understand.
[“The more you receive praise and love, the easier it is to be hated as well.”]
Just like Michael had said.
There were people who adored me because I was the “Saint’s Child,” and others who resented me—asking why I couldn’t save those who were dying sooner.
And I understood both sides.
Like Baron Molba had shouted before he died—the luxurious clothes I wore, the expensive food I ate—maybe all of it was just extravagance built on suffering.
But still… I’m only eight years old. It’s an age where I’m allowed to act a little spoiled, isn’t it?
“Michael, you know… I heard it from Madeleine.”
“…”
One of them—one of the eight who served the Serpent.
Michael’s expression froze, as if I’d struck a nerve.
“I won’t get hurt, so I don’t want you to be hurt either.”
“Why… are you comforting me right now?”
Michael frowned deeply and suddenly sank to his knees before me.
But I didn’t stop speaking.
“Sarina… she liked the Duke, didn’t she?”
“How do you—”
“The first day I met you—it was morning—and Sarina’s eyes were red.”
That had been more than two weeks ago.
But I still remembered it clearly.
“I should’ve asked her why she was crying, but I forgot until now. Though… I think I know.”
“…”
“From that day on, Sarina stopped liking the Duke.”
Children who’ve lived in danger grow up sharp.
It was a line I’d once read in a book—and I’d felt it in my bones.
I looked at Michael, and he stared blankly back at me.
“I wanted to comfort her, but… now it’s kind of too late, isn’t it?”
“If it hurts—please, say it hurts.”
Michael’s voice cut me off.
“If you’re struggling, say you’re struggling. If you hate something, say you hate it. If you’re scared, say you’re scared. You don’t always have to pretend to be fine. You don’t always have to put others first.”
“…Michael, you’re kind.”
“I’m not kind! I’m… selfish. When I first met you, I—honestly didn’t feel anything.”
“I liked you from the start. Your purple eyes were pretty.”
“I know, that’s why I—”
He stopped mid-sentence, head lowering as if ashamed to meet my gaze.
Maybe… it wasn’t his eyes I liked, but how I looked reflected in them. So bright and alive.
That’s not the same. It’s different.
Eyes don’t lie.
“People are… difficult.”
“…”
Michael lifted his head.
I spoke slowly.
“Kan said he doesn’t want to marry me.”
(Michael flinched.)
“He had lots of reasons. Father seems to like Moth—Mom—but when I asked, he said it doesn’t matter.”
“…”
“You lost your parents, but you’re not angry at me. Even though if I’d appeared a little earlier, they might not have died. You said it’s okay.”
“…”
“Tera said she likes me. Even though she already has a little sister. The maids like me too. People say I’m cute.”
“…”
“The headmistress wasn’t a bad person. But she spoke formally to me, so the other orphans looked at me strangely, like I was different.”
Michael stayed silent and listened.
“The spirits don’t like it when I call two of them at once. They want me to focus on one. So I thought… people are kind of like that too. Everyone’s different. Everyone thinks differently—even about me.”
“…Adel.”
“I have people I like, and people I just… don’t. There are people I want to be kind to, and people I feel nothing for. Jenny’s good at writing, but we’re not close. Liden was the most popular at the orphanage, but I didn’t like him.”
Michael’s lips pressed shut.
“People… and relationships… it’s just like that, isn’t it? Words don’t hurt me. I’m only happy now. Because I can feel that you care about me. I don’t care what you were like before. I’ll like you anyway.”
“Wait, that’s… a bit misleading.”
Michael looked flustered, but I just hugged my teddy bear tightly.
“When I go to the Academy, will I be able to make lots of friends?”
“It’ll be… difficult. As the ‘Child of Prophecy,’ you’ll be placed in the special class. You won’t mix much with the others.”
“What if it’s just a few?”
“A few… might be possible.”
I smiled faintly.
“There’ll be kids who don’t like me, right? They’re all nobles. I’m a commoner.”
“I can’t say none will dislike you… but many will like you as well.”
“Will I make a friend who suits me well—like Madeleine?”
“If it’s you, Lady Adel, I’m sure many will want to be your friend. Well… maybe not everyone, but most.”
Michael answered with genuine sincerity.
I nodded.
“Michael, don’t get hurt. It’s not your fault your father was… like that.”
“…”
“No one should suffer. I hate when people close to me are in pain. I want everyone to smile. To be happy. Okay?”
“…”
For some reason, Michael didn’t answer.
He just looked at me silently. His violet eyes grew darker, like deep water.
In my dream, I’d thought Michael looked beautiful when he cried.
He wasn’t crying now—but it felt like he was. And he was just as beautiful.
I reached out my finger and brushed the corner of his eye.
My first knight didn’t avoid my touch.
He just kept looking at me. Still, unmoving.
Even though my touch might’ve hurt, even though I was clumsy—he stayed still.
“People said different things about you. Some said you’re crazy. Some said you’re scary. Some said you’re great. Others said you’re strict.”
“What am I… to you, Adel?”
“To me, Michael is beautiful. Someone who should be happy.”
“What have I even done? Why would you say that? I don’t remember doing anything for you.”
“You don’t need to do anything. Just being Michael is enough.”
Don’t get hurt.
Maybe I really had been worrying all along.
Wondering why Michael devoted himself so completely to the Duke’s house.
Why someone so young threw himself into the battlefield, enough to earn the title of Captain.
“I’m sorry, but… I’ll have to bow my head for a moment.”
Michael’s voice was rough, trembling.
He was supposed to be my protector by my father’s command—but to me, he was simply human.
I thought I saw a jewel-like tear flash in the air, but he didn’t want me to see it.
So I just stayed quiet.
I could hear him grit his teeth—the sound of someone breaking down, weeping from guilt buried too deep to speak.
“Why… am I crying?” he whispered between gasps. “Why am I crying in front of someone so young…?”
And still, he cried.
Again and again.
It’s just a habit of mine—whenever I feel sad, I reach out to someone.
I don’t know why.
Maybe just because.
No matter how much people hurt me, I keep going back to them. Because I still believe.
And somehow, just touching someone eases the pain.
<Cool.>
“…Me too.”
The lizard-shaped fire spirit giggled.
I had opened the window, letting in the night breeze.
<I like you, Adel.>
“I like you too.”
<I like you more.>
“That makes me happy.”
The little lizard circled me, its flames flickering brightly.
Last time, when Kan suddenly visited, he tore a magic scroll and made a tree grow sky-high. People really were fascinating.
“I saw someone die.”
<Were you scared?>
“It was the second time. The first was when Dad killed a lot of people. Not just one.”
<Were you afraid?>
“Yeah…”
That was when I decided—I needed to marry Kan quickly.
Even though Father said the royal marriage wouldn’t happen for another five years… I didn’t think we could wait that long.
“When I save the world, can I play with Dad again?”
<Ummm… ummm…>
The spirit didn’t answer.
I pouted, resting my chin on the teddy bear.
“When I save the world, can I go on walks holding Mom and Dad’s hands?”
<Uuummm…>
“When I save the world, no one will cry anymore, right?”
<Huuuummm…>
The lizard began humming instead of replying.
“When I go to the Academy, I’ll study really hard.”
<You’ll do great, Adel.>
My eyes widened.
It had responded—that alone made me happy.
“I’ll get stronger. Maybe I’ll even meet a divine beast.”
<Not yet.>
“Will there be fun things in the Imperial Palace?”
<We’ve prepared something for you! >
Prepared something?
The lizard darted around. I tilted my head.
“Will I debut in society too? The nobles were interesting… but kind of scary.”
<If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.>
“I want to make lots of friends.”
<You’re already popular, Adel.>
I tilted my head again.
Sleepiness was setting in.
[“Please… forget what you saw today. Or at least, forget how I looked.”]
That’s what Michael said before I went to bed.
I nodded, even though I knew I couldn’t forget.
His cheeks had flushed red, and he’d looked at me with a strange expression before quietly leaving.
[“The ‘Child of Prophecy’ truly lives up to her name.”]
I didn’t really understand.
But when I look at Michael, I think, He’s a captain for a reason.
When I look at Father, I think, He’s a duke for a reason.
When I look at Kan, I think, He’s a crown prince for a reason.
Maybe people always look at each other and think—you’re not who you are for nothing.
“I won’t have nightmares anymore… right?”
Sarina had read me two storybooks before leaving.
She probably thought I was asleep, but I just had my eyes closed.
Truth is, I was scared to fall asleep.
I didn’t want to see anything frightening again.
I wanted to dream of playing with Madeleine and Kan instead.
I climbed into bed.
The blankets were warm.
Soft and comforting.
<Good night, Adel.>
